Donating yer organs.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

Me dad always said to me that I should register for a donor card, but the again He was man after my own heart... There are of course people that need yer organs, but is that a good enough reason to donate them, or even have some other fuckers? How many of yer carry the card?

[and]

My 'organ' is of rather modest proportions(so the wife keeps telling me)I can't see anybody else making use of it after I've gone, unless it's a spare to carry around in a handbag, for emergency use only

[King Billy]

38 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

Me dad always said to me that I should register for a donor card, but the again He was man after my own heart... There are of course people that need yer organs, but is that a good enough reason to donate them, or even have some other fuckers? How many of yer carry the card?

Frank has donated his body to science. Scientists have said they will be contesting the will.

[King Billy]

I’m not letting any cunt have my organs. Not the Yamaha or the Bontempi.

[Dave Umbongo]

1 hour ago, King Billy said:

I’m not letting any cunt have my organs. Not the Yamaha or the Bontempi.

Remember the Stylophone. Rolf Harris couldn't believe his luck when they told him that every child under the age of 12 would be playing with his organ on Christmas day in 1979.

[Eric Cuntman]

17 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Remember the Stylophone. Rolf Harris couldn't believe his luck when they told him that every child under the age of 12 would be playing with his organ on Christmas day in 1979.

Someone bought me one for Christmas in about 1980. Fucking awful sounding thing. Mind you, it was the walnut effect plastic, not the crappy white plastic one for pikeys.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

1 hour ago, King Billy said:

Frank has donated his body to science. Scientists have said they will be contesting the will.

By all accounts, comrade Panza asked for transplant due to his baldness...

I'm advised that he looks even worse with a kidney on his head. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

6 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Someone bought me one for Christmas in about 1980. Fucking awful sounding thing. Mind you, it was the walnut effect plastic, not the crappy white plastic one for pikeys.

[Eric Cuntman]

Just now, 'eavensabove said:

I knew that it had been used on a famous recording, couldn't remember which though. How am I not surprised that you knew that.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

2 hours ago, Joker said:

My 'organ' is of rather modest proportions(so the wife keeps telling me) I can't see anybody making use of it after I've gone, unless it's a spare, to carry around in a handbag, for emergency purposes only

Punker's will have it. Throw in yer bollocks for good measure. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I knew that it had been used on a famous recording, couldn't remember which though. How am I not surprised that you knew that.

… here am I floating in my tin can.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

1 hour ago, King Billy said:

Frank has donated his body to science. Scientists have said they will be contesting the will.

I'd not want a Paki's pair of lungs for love or for money, and the Chinks would only eat mine. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

16 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I knew tha

What the fuck's going on. Last night a post disappeared completely, and now I've got double posts appearing. Poltergeist fuckery and shenanigans. I knew that it had been used on a famous recording, couldn't remember which though. How am I not surprised that you knew that. 

Donations towards site upkeep will be thankfully received and faithfully applied....          

 

Edited May 20, 2020 by 'eavensabove
WASHING MY HANDS FOR 20 SECONDS

[Miles]

29 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

What the fuck's going on. Last night a post disappeared completely, and now I've got double posts appearing. Poltergeist fuckery and shenanigans. I knew that it had been used on a famous recording, couldn't remember which though. How am I not surprised that you knew that. 

Donations towards site upkeep will be thankfully received and faithfully applied....          

 

I had the same problem before my cataracts were sorted .. pop down to Specsavers and get them to check your eyes.

[Dave Umbongo]

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Someone bought me one for Christmas in about 1980. Fucking awful sounding thing. Mind you, it was the walnut effect plastic, not the crappy white plastic one for pikeys.

I had the ebony and ivory one. No, hang on it was the crappy white plastic one.

[Eric Cuntman]

3 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

I had the ebony and ivory one. No, hang on it was the crappy white plastic one.

It was a bizarre thing. Awful scratchy and broken sound, fuck knows who invented it or why. My sister had a little Casio synthesiser keyboard which was brilliant to play around with. I'm the least musical person on the planet and can't play anything though. 

[camberwell gypsy]

Is anyone else having problems getting on the 'Soft as shit" thread? 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

47 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

I had the ebony and ivory one. No, hang on it was the crappy white plastic one.

The one with P McCuntney & M Jackson, pre-set buttons? 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

20 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Is anyone else having problems getting on the 'Soft as shit" thread? 

Are yer constipated then, Gyps? Syrup of figs will loosen your stool. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

43 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

It was a bizarre thing. Awful scratchy and broken sound, fuck knows who invented it or why. My sister had a little Casio synthesiser keyboard which was brilliant to play around with. I'm the least musical person on the planet and can't play anything though. 

I fink what yer need is some ADSR, Eric. Attack, Delay, Sustain & Release. Get yer oscillators looked at and yer envelope generators may also need tweaking. How's yer pitch-bend and sawtooth? They're always worth checking, as too is any white noise. They hate it in Brixton, and so change yer location and get a decent modulator. Consider sampling and go timbral polyphonic with fairlight & mellotron. That should do the trick.

 

'eavens M Jarre  above

 

[Eric Cuntman]

26 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

I fink what yer need is some ADSR, Eric. Attack, Delay, Sustain & Release. Get yer oscillators looked at and yer envelope generators may also need tweaking. How's yer pitch-bend and sawtooth? They're always worth checking, as too is any white noise. They hate it in Brixton, and so change yer location and get a decent modulator. Consider sampling and go timbral polyphonic with fairlight & mellotron. That should do the trick.

 

'eavens M Jarre  above

 

I can't play any instruments and know nothing about them. From the age of 11, I had fuck all interest in anything that didn't have 'Webley' or 'Victorinox' stamped on it. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

Just now, Eric Cuntman said:

I can't play any instruments and know nothing about them. From the age of 11, I had fuck all interest in anything that didn't have 'Webley' or 'Victorinox' stamped on it. 

Not even instruments of torture? Come off it!!!

[King Billy]

2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

From the age of 11, I had fuck all interest in anything that didn't have 'Webley' or 'Victorinox' stamped on it. 

Where I grew up Eric that’s called a late starter. My old man would have given me a good hiding if I’d said I didn’t want to help him clean his gun. Probably have called me a poof or some other genetic abnormality. I loved the feel and was fascinated by the engineering precision of guns from the first time my dad let me just hold his Beretta 9mm. At the time he had left the Army and was part time in the UDR and the Beretta was his personal protection pistol. I remember he used to be dismantling and cleaning it and I’d always get the job of polishing the bullets. I think there were 15 in the clip and sometimes he’d hide 1 or 2 and tell me he’d shot someone the day before. I was always really pleased when he told me this.

 

[Eric Cuntman]

11 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Where I grew up Eric that’s called a late starter. My old man would have given me a good hiding if I’d said I didn’t want to help him clean his gun. Probably have called me a poof or some other genetic abnormality. I loved the feel and was fascinated by the engineering precision of guns from the first time my dad let me just hold his Beretta 9mm. At the time he had left the Army and was part time in the UDR and the Beretta was his personal protection pistol. I remember he used to be dismantling and cleaning it and I’d always get the job of polishing the bullets. I think there were 15 in the clip and sometimes he’d hide 1 or 2 and tell me he’d shot someone the day before. I was always really pleased when he told me this.

 

My mum was strongly against guns. I had a Webley Tempest that I had to hide under a jacket and go to the woods for tin can practice. I think that @Ape™️ has still got one. When I was a bit older I got a Webley Vulcan .22 rifle. Heavy and clunky but I loved it.

[Ape™️]

16 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

My mum was strongly against guns. I had a Webley Tempest that I had to hide under a jacket and go to the woods for tin can practice. I think that @Ape™️ has still got one. When I was a bit older I got a Webley Vulcan .22 rifle. Heavy and clunky but I loved it.

It’s a Hurricane I’ve got - still shoots well.

@Witheredscrote - before you decide to make any of your hilarious comments, just fuck off.