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The Trial of Alex Salmond


Earl of Punkape

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Mr Salmond’s trial has started today with a series of charges relating to complaints from approximately 10 different women.Some of those women will undoubtedly be slags.

A lot of it seems to be rather “Benny Hill” but a charge of attempted rape could land him a large bowl of porridge.

Hopefully Nichola Klebb Sturgeon will be implicated in an elaborate cover up.

Fuck off.

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21 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Mr Salmond’s trial has started today with a series of charges relating to complaints from approximately 10 different women.Some of those women will undoubtedly be slags.

A lot of it seems to be rather “Benny Hill” but a charge of attempted rape could land him a large bowl of porridge.

Hopefully Nichola Klebb Sturgeon will be implicated in an elaborate cover up.

Fuck off.

# me too would have sufficed.

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32 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Mr Salmond’s trial has started today with a series of charges relating to complaints from approximately 10 different women.Some of those women will undoubtedly be slags.

A lot of it seems to be rather “Benny Hill” but a charge of attempted rape could land him a large bowl of porridge.

Hopefully Nichola Klebb Sturgeon will be implicated in an elaborate cover up.

Fuck off.

It's funny you say that punkers as I've always imagined a pissed up Salmond chasing his female staff around the office, troosers around his ankles as the Benny Hill music plays. 

First evidence is he got pissed up and groped an employee (unfortunately they remain anonymous so we can see if she was fuckable) on the tit. Ok, very naughty, but later it's said he pinned her down, stripped her naked and tried to rape her. If this one sticks he's completely fucked and will do time with some proper hard nuts who'll hopefully rape the fuck out his chubby arse giving his full blown tertiary bad AIDS

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1 minute ago, Earl of Punkape said:

The SNP are worse than Labour.

I totally agree. Alex Salmond should be clubbed to a pulp using a rolled up Nicola Sturgeon. The remains could then be reshaped into a statue of Margaret Thatcher outside the Scottish Parliament.

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1 minute ago, King Billy said:

I totally agree. Alex Salmond should be clubbed to a pulp using a rolled up Nicola Sturgeon. The remains could then be reshaped into a statue of Margaret Thatcher outside the Scottish Parliament.

Scotland owes it’s prosperous well being to England and the United Kingdom.

Robert the Bruce is a cunt.

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2 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Why the fuck didn't these daft mares report the slap, grope and tickle at the time? Perhaps there was the offer of something in it for them which hasn't quite met up to their expectations 

Most women love rape. Obviously once they get used to it. We don’t know yet, but it may come out that wee Alex is a bloody good rapist. He certainly looks like he has the potential to excel at it. I’m sure Neil would be more qualified to comment than you or I. I haven’t done that many.

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Guest Monaco Slim
2 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Most women love rape. Obviously once they get used to it. We don’t know yet, but it may come out that wee Alex is a bloody good rapist. He certainly looks like he has the potential to excel at it. I’m sure Neil would be more qualified to comment than you or I. I haven’t done that many.

if they didnt enjoy rape then there's no way anyone could get their dick inside.

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6 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Scotland owes it’s prosperous well being to England and the United Kingdom.

Robert the Bruce is a cunt.

I don’t want to piss on your chips but Scotland is fucking skint and always has been. They wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s what they know and love. It’s their history and culture.

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1 hour ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Mr Salmond’s trial has started today with a series of charges relating to complaints from approximately 10 different women.Some of those women will undoubtedly be slags.

A lot of it seems to be rather “Benny Hill” but a charge of attempted rape could land him a large bowl of porridge.

Hopefully Nichola Klebb Sturgeon will be implicated in an elaborate cover up.

Fuck off.

Wee jimmy crankey is the bird he tried to fuck and that’s why she is hidden in court behind a screen and her voice is disguised.    Apparently he could not quite get a hard on with her, that’s what saved her from his sweaty body humping her hairy wee cave.   As reported verbatim on the BBC tonight’s news.

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38 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Do you think Salmond is guilty ?

That’s obviously for 11 short haired fat Scottish lezbians to decide.

hang him will be their verdict

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15 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Most women love rape. Obviously once they get used to it. We don’t know yet, but it may come out that wee Alex is a bloody good rapist. He certainly looks like he has the potential to excel at it. I’m sure Neil would be more qualified to comment than you or I. I haven’t done that many.

You can’t be too careful what with the 1 in 75 million chance of catching Wong flu from your rapee, I’d keep it down to a local handful for now.  Nothing to old in the risk categories.  So keep it below 85.

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11 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I don’t want to piss on your chips but Scotland is fucking skint and always has been. They wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s what they know and love. It’s their history and culture.

They must have at least ten gallons of crude and a cellar full of Buckfast left. That will hold them till 2100.

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1 minute ago, Monumental cunt said:

Wee jimmy crankey is the bird he tried to fuck and that’s why she is hidden in court behind a screen and her voice is disguised.    Apparently he could not quite get a hard on with her, that’s what saved her from his sweaty body humping her hairy wee cave.   As reported verbatim on the BBC tonight’s news.

The only time I ever visited Scotland I never saw one female that I would even speak to, never mind rape. I would bet that any of the stunted little gargoyles would jump at the chance to take out  a wonga loan and pay any man to bend  them over the counter at the local chip shop and hide the battered mars bar.

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6 minutes ago, King Billy said:

The only time I ever visited Scotland I never saw one female that I would even speak to, never mind rape. I would bet that any of the stunted little gargoyles would jump at the chance to take out  a wonga loan and pay any man to bend  them over the counter at the local chip shop and hide the battered mars bar.

Never been to the place....horrible people, filthy place, foreign language, ugly cunts.  Emperor Hadrian had the right idea with that fucking wall.

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8 minutes ago, Monumental cunt said:

Never been to the place....horrible people, filthy place, foreign language, ugly cunts.  Emperor Hadrian had the right idea with that fucking wall.

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen Hadrians Wall MC but it’s about 4 foot high and the sweaty socks couldn’t even get near the top of the fucker.The chinks must have laughed their little yellow baldy bollocks off when they first came over here and saw it. If they didn’t then they definitely would have when they first met a jock and heard them speak.

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1 hour ago, King Billy said:

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen Hadrians Wall MC but it’s about 4 foot high and the sweaty socks couldn’t even get near the top of the fucker.The chinks must have laughed their little yellow baldy bollocks off when they first came over here and saw it. If they didn’t then they definitely would have when they first met a jock and heard them speak.

It's not just the fried Mars bar mob that are trapped by the wall. Roadkill and the other Geordies are also trapped. It's blatant racism. 

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