Package holiday wankers

[King Billy]

35 minutes ago, Erroreptile404 said:

Was anyone else banking on salty shooting up his local walmart with an AR-15 before turning the gun on himself after last night?

Salty is on his way to ‘Sunny View’ secure unit as we speak. Nurse Ratched arrived this morning to accompany him to his new residence. This is him helping her up after she slipped over on what’s  thought to have been a fresh puddle of piss. We all wish him well and hope for a very long recovery.

[Cuntybaws]

37 minutes ago, Erroreptile404 said:

Was anyone else banking on salty shooting up his local walmart with an AR-15 before turning the gun on himself after last night?

My money's on Pulse rather than Walmart; he seems to be a bit of a homophobe.

[Guest Erroreptile404]

14 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

My money's on Pulse rather than Walmart; he seems to be a bit of a homophobe.

I had to look that up 😂  👌

[Guest Salty Piss Flap]

7 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

Quick-witted? This current storm in a tea-cup was kick-started by a poorly timed retort to a post made five days previously.

Let me disabuse you of that notion...

The purpose of The Corner is to serve as a platform for irreverent comment, that is to nominate and discuss "The Cunts Of The World". Its accepted that needling between punters will take place but the banter and trash talk should be a side-show and not dominate the discourse. I'll reiterate a comment I made on the 14th August, "We would rather have a daily count of 50 posts of insightful and informative content than 150 posts of insults..."

Well OK then. I suppose I'll I stand corrected. But just for you, honey. 😘

6 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

This is an issue of two countries separated by a common language, not helped by a punter who is lacking in self awareness and despite, or perhaps because of, his eagerness for UK TV comedy programmes that have aged by a generation, is not up to speed with the subtleties, nuances and context of the modern British humour, psyche, and idioms. His timing also leaves a lot  to be desired. Unfortunately, he's stumbled onto a site who's puntership is not renowned for patience. That said, he clearly isn't seeing the wood for the trees. I suggest both sides back off.

Golly gee, Mrs Roops, you were kind of tough on ol' Decimus there, weren't  you? 😆

Let me just say this about the whole "superior/complex nature of British humoUr" MYTH.... first of all, those old Britcoms from the 70's, 80's and 90's are far from the only ones I've watched. Believe it or not, our PBS stations do receive current programming from The BBC, ITV and Sky, though one season behind so that it gets seen over there first.

I've seen every episode of The IT Crowd at least five times, I used to be a fan of a quaint little comedy called The Cafe which was set in your coastal resort town of Weston Super Mare (odd name for a town even by Brit standards) and which featured that recently renowned slag twat Phoebe Wallows under a Bridge. And though I know it's not considered "current", I've seen every episode of Blackadder three or four times, and unlike one of your regular punters here, I actually know how to properly spell it. Not to mention the fact that a certain other punter here uses a picture of Hugh Laurie in a role from that show as his avatar, so it must in your minds, pass some kind of legitimacy test.

Continuing on, I've seen about half the episodes of Trollied, saw every episode of that unfunny dipshit Marley's Ghosts, I've been a fan of Doc Martin ever since it first began back about ten years or so ago. I saw every episode of Miranda three or four times. My Family, too though not a real fan. I used to be a devotee of the cop dramedy New Tricks, and several other Brit whodunnits, and there are so many more that I can't even remember them all. But the list is reasonably long.

My point is, that I'm not basing my understanding of your style of humor on Hyacinth Bucket or Compo, Clegg and Foggy Dewhurst, Mr Humphries swishing around in drag or Victor Meldrew being cranky about something. Also, given that I was watching shows like Python and Fawlty Towers back in the 70's when they were actually being produced and a good decade or more before many of you were even born, I really don't think I need a lot of lecturing and instruction on a subject that is nowhere near as complex as you enjoy pretending it is. Yes, Python may be dated, but it is still considered a highly respected forerunner of the modern genre which hasn't fundamentally changed that much.

Certainly, British comedy often relies on the wink and a nod or the arched eyebrow or subtle aside in their humor, but it's also often just silly slapstick or reliant upon sexual innuendo. All these illusions of yours about the superior level of complexity that one must be British to understand is, as we say over here, hogwash. In the end, it's just writers and actors getting paid to be silly. 

Let me say finally, that you all are the ones who are missing something here. It's as obvious as the noses on your faces (some possibly more obvious than others given the normal disparity in honker size throughout the general population which I presume would be reflected in this, a random sampling of same, but I digress) that "you lot" are the ones who are lacking a basic understanding of exactly what humor is. You are taking something that is universal throughout the entire world and exists in every society - humor - and stuffing it into this narrow little box labeled "British only" and discounting as non-legitimate, anything that you see as falling outside of it.

Fine, so I don't get some of your cultural or political references. Big. Fucking. Deal. A witty rejoinder is a witty rejoinder is a witty rejoinder. By any other name, is still a witty rejoinder. However, I understand fully, that some here (not all and you know who you are) are such xenophobic, insecure, snobbish nationalist pricks, that it doesn't matter what I post, you're going to furrow your brows, fold your arms across your chests, jut out your chins (multiple in some cases) in defiance and stubbornly declare...

"NOT BRITISH ENOUGH!!!!!!"

Well, like I said, I'm not going to intentionally break any forum rules and give anyone a convenient excuse to snuff my account and I'm not going to be cowed or coerced into toeing some line members of a certain clique have established for me. I'm just going to keep on cunting, grunting and punting out my best attempts with the only goal of having some fun whilst hopefully meeting and fulfilling my own expectations of myself.

As I've said before, nobody is required to like it or approve of it.

[Guest Salty Piss Flap]

3 hours ago, DrCunt said:

It's an issue of two ears seperated by nothing but a vacuum.

Which describes more members here than you think.

Here....

Have a look at one of them.

[Roadkill]

Just now, Salty Piss Flap said:

Which describes more members here than you think.

Here....

Have a look at one of them.

No reflection? Must be Roops.

 

[Guest Salty Piss Flap]

1 hour ago, Erroreptile404 said:

Was anyone else banking on salty shooting up his local walmart with an AR-15 before turning the gun on himself after last night?

Don't flatter yourself or your little clique or their importance to anyone outside this little circle jerk.

[Cuntybaws]

Fuck Monty Python, we've got ratcum.

[Frank]

7 hours ago, Decimus said:

Salty isn't aware of how fucking shit he is, and continues to post regardless of the fact that everybody hates him. I thought that you of all people would recognise his symptoms.

I told him exactly where he stood on arrival. The fact he’s survived, more or less unchallenged.. for so very long, proves what a soft pile of shit you and your soppy mates have become.  

I think he’s probably the worst I’ve ever seen. 

[Cuntybaws]

13 minutes ago, Salty Piss Flap said:

I saw every episode of Miranda three or four times.

My apologies for everything that's gone before. If I'd known how much you'd suffered I'd have been far more tolerant and understanding.

[Guest Salty Piss Flap]

6 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

Quick-witted? This current storm in a tea-cup was kick-started by a poorly timed retort to a post made five days previously.

But, as I hadn't opened the thread or "nom" as apparently they're called here, I hadn't seen the post until directly prior to responding.

Ergo, my retort was spontaneous and as such, "quick witted". 

It was also, despite claims to the contrary, damned funny.

So in your typical fashion, as you displayed in the great "cricket VS baseball battle of 2019" as it will forever be known and written about in history books, you are trying to make a point based on something that isn't relevant to the point.

[Guest Salty Piss Flap]

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Isn't that the bloke from the Go compare ads? 

Naw, he's some guy who painted melting clocks.

[Guest Salty Piss Flap]

2 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

My apologies for everything that's gone before. If I'd known how much you'd suffered I'd have been far more tolerant and understanding.

Thank you.

I appreciate that, though I didn't really hate the show.

Didn't love it, either.

[King Billy]

8 minutes ago, Salty Piss Flap said:

Don't flatter yourself or your little clique or their importance to anyone outside this little circle jerk.

Salty, Relax mate. It’s a new day. For fucks sake. Have a fucking laugh, lick your wounds and don’t take everything to heart. I for one don’t hold any ill will towards you, but please stop thinking every cunt is out to get you. It’s a forum for cunts and nothing should be taken personally.

[King Billy]

6 minutes ago, Frank said:

I told him exactly where he stood on arrival. The fact he’s survived, more or less unchallenged.. for so very long, proves what a soft pile of shit you and your soppy mates have become.  

I think he’s probably the worst I’ve ever seen. 

Have a look in the mirror and you’ll definitely change your mind.

Fuck off

[Guest Salty Piss Flap]

6 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Salty, Relax mate. It’s a new day. For fucks sake. Have a fucking laugh, lick your wounds and don’t take everything to heart. I for one don’t hold any ill will towards you, but please stop thinking every cunt is out to get you. It’s a forum for cunts and nothing should be taken personally.

I'll relax after I've finished "that business" with my AR-15....

****NOTE TO ALL LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES - The above comment was made in jest!!!! I do not own an AR-15 nor any other type of firearm, other than a WWII relic five shot Russian revolver that hasn't been fired since the 1940's after it's owner "had no more use for it", and is very difficult to get ammunition for, not that I'd bother anyway!!!

Please do not visit my house as I have no plans or desire to shoot anyone!!!

Thank you.

[Roadkill]

14 minutes ago, Frank said:

I told him exactly where he stood on arrival. The fact he’s survived, more or less unchallenged.. for so very long, proves what a soft pile of shit you and your soppy mates have become.  

I think he’s probably the worst I’ve ever seen. 

Absolute bollocks of the highest order. I was laying into the cunt on day one and you step in all "This new approach really doesn't suit you, RK". You've been hard for the cunt the moment he set foot on here, his personal greasy little brown knight, derailing and distracting any cunt who has a go:

Fuck off back under your rock you shit stirring doylum.

[Mrs Roops]

11 minutes ago, Salty Piss Flap said:

But, as I hadn't opened the thread or "nom" as apparently they're called here, I hadn't seen the post until directly prior to responding.

Ergo, my retort was spontaneous and as such, "quick witted". 

It was also, despite claims to the contrary, damned funny.

So in your typical fashion, as you displayed in the great "cricket VS baseball battle of 2019" as it will forever be known and written about in history books, you are trying to make a point based on something that isn't relevant to the point.

I said the retort was based on a quote made five days previously, I only have your word that it was a spontaneous reaction, dubious as you said earlier that you stood corrected. Aside that, you're humour is formulaic and pedestrian and you talk too much. @Salty Piss Flap, you're now proving to be a distraction 'cos you simply won't move on. Have a short rest, come back with a clear head.

[Roadkill]

Just now, Mrs Roops said:

I said the retort was based on a quote made five days previously, I only have your word that it was a spontaneous reaction, dubious as you said earlier that you stood corrected. Aside that, you're humour is formulaic and pedestrian and you talk too much. @Salty Piss Flap, you're now proving to be a distraction 'cos you simply won't move on. Have a short rest, come back with a clear head.

About time. You've really got to work on your quick draw, Roops.

[King Billy]

2 minutes ago, Salty Piss Flap said:

Please do not visit my house as I have no plans or desire to shoot anyone!

Call yourself an American?

Shame on you. lol

[Guest Salty Piss Flap]

3 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

I said the retort was based on a quote made five days previously, I only have your word that it was a spontaneous reaction, dubious as you said earlier that you stood corrected. Aside that, you're humour is formulaic and pedestrian and you talk too much. @Salty Piss Flap, you're now proving to be a distraction 'cos you simply won't move on. Have a short rest, come back with a clear head.

About what I expected.

[Cuntybaws]

 

4 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

Have a short rest...

@Salty Piss Flap, here's a little something to help while away the time. (I couldn't find "Miranda" on loop.)

 

[Decimus]

See ya, Salty, you fucking idiot.

Miranda indeed.

[Mrs Roops]

5 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

About time. You've really got to work on your quick draw, Roops.

He needed a chance to back off and retain some dignity. He chose not to take it.

[Mrs Roops]

Just now, Decimus said:

See ya, Salty, you fucking idiot.

Miranda indeed.

No gloating or kicking a man when down.