Cressida Strap-on ( currently masquerading as the Commissioner of the Met Police Service (not Force, please note)

[camberwell gypsy]

25 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I don't want any wine bottles and dirty nickers left down the back of the sofa this time. 

Never been in there. 

[Eric Cuntman]

6 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Never been in there. 

You have. You've topped the board at least once. Possibly twice in the past. I keep an eye on these things.

[King Billy]

3 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Pansy, you got a like from Roops. That's the equivalent of finding a golden ticket in your choccy bar. 

Or shitting a gold bar.

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You have. You've topped the board at least once. Possibly twice in the past. I keep an eye on these things.

Of course, I dont care of course. 

[King Billy]

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You have. You've topped the board at least once. Possibly twice in the past. I keep an eye on these things.

For fucks sake Eric. You can’t just give her the penthouse without making a stand. The next time you go in the toilets will be ripped out, all the copper pipes gone, the driveway will be half tarmacced and a bill with your name on it left on the mantelpiece. The bath will be full of old Transit gearboxes and the whole gaff will stink of burnt hedgehog. I’m giving you a like to try to hold her off for a while.

[Eric Cuntman]

48 minutes ago, King Billy said:

For fucks sake Eric. You can’t just give her the penthouse without making a stand. The next time you go in the toilets will be ripped out, all the copper pipes gone, the driveway will be half tarmacced and a bill with your name on it left on the mantelpiece. The bath will be full of old Transit gearboxes and the whole gaff will stink of burnt hedgehog. I’m giving you a like to try to hold her off for a while.

Shit. I thought she'd just Hoover and wash the net curtains.

[King Billy]

22 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Shit. I thought she'd just Hoover and wash the net curtains.

It’s too late. She’s changing the locks already. The car park’s full of White transits, rabid dogs, swearing kids smoking cigars and little bags of shit scattered everywhere. You better get down the council in the morning and get your name on the housing list.

[The Beast]

I don't want to come across as a pedant queer, but even a plastic mick like myself knows that it is only called the union jack when flown at sea. Otherwise it is referred to as the union flag. 

Anyway, the only part of the flag that interests me is the cross of St George.

I'm an English and Irish republican, I'll offer no apologies.

[King Billy]

13 minutes ago, The Beast said:

'Im an English and Irish republican

Pint of Stella please. 

[The Beast]

2 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Pint of Stella please. 

Fuck that foreign shit.

[and]

16 hours ago, King Billy said:

For fucks sake Eric. You can’t just give her the penthouse without making a stand. The next time you go in the toilets will be ripped out, all the copper pipes gone, the driveway will be half tarmacced and a bill with your name on it left on the mantelpiece. The bath will be full of old Transit gearboxes and the whole gaff will stink of burnt hedgehog. I’m giving you a like to try to hold her off for a while.

 

15 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Shit. I thought she'd just Hoover and wash the net curtains.

Pair of smooth talking cunts, why don't you just spit-roast the slut and have done with it.

Even Pansy's pushing the boat out, I hope you all catch something you'll regret, don't say you haven't been warned, slags!

[King Billy]

17 hours ago, The Beast said:

Fuck that foreign shit.

What does she look like?

[Guest judgetwi]

On 07/06/2020 at 10:14, Mrs Roops said:

The thin blue line on the monochrome badges represents fallen officers. In fairness to the judge I think the Met has banned their officers from displaying them.

No need to be fair to me my dear. That looks like branding on a piece of police equipment to me and reminds me of the stab vest the gifted musician, Stormzy , wore at Glastonbury (or Glasto as you would call it) Of course, being respectable and middle class no copper comes near me so I wouldn’t know. Not that we have coppers round here, and if we did, I would expect them to go down on one knee and suck my posh winkle. My daddy is a QC ok ya?

[Miles]

On 07/06/2020 at 23:32, King Billy said:

Pint of Stella please. 

Will Carling do?

[Eric Cuntman]

Just now, Dawn Chorus said:

Will Carling do?

Princess Di drank Carling.

Why are you awake, did the nurse forget to give you your pills?

[King Billy]

10 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Princess Di drank Carling.

Why are you awake, did the nurse forget to give you your pills?

His Tena must have sprung a leak. Or he’s shit the bed.

[Guest judgetwi]

On 07/06/2020 at 23:19, The Beast said:

I don't want to come across as a pedant queer, but even a plastic mick like myself knows that it is only called the union jack when flown at sea. Otherwise it is referred to as the union flag. 

 

It’s tragic Doc but I am forced to inform you that you come across exactly like a “pedant queer.”

I hope you are not the sort of wanker who, every time the BBC “Sports Personalty of the Year” comes around says “snigger, snigger, none of them has got a personality, snigger , snigger”. If I had a pound for every time i’ve wanted to punch some tosser in the mush for that i’d be Dickie fucking Branson.

Be careful Doc. I wouldn’t want to see you get your bollocks kicked in  for a pathetic, throwaway remark. 

As for Taxdodger Linekunt.......well don’t get me started on that bastard!

[Miles]

8 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Princess Di drank Carling.

Why are you awake, did the nurse forget to give you your pills?

No the nurse was still changing your "bag".

[Mrs Roops]

9 hours ago, judgetwi said:

...That looks like branding on a piece of police equipment to me and reminds me of the stab vest the gifted musician, Stormzy , wore at Glastonbury...

Designer stab vests, who'd have thort it...

[Stubby Pecker]

11 hours ago, King Billy said:

His Tena must have sprung a leak. Or he’s shit the bed.

She must have got up for a huge man turd (lumpy crap) or a slash with one hand on the cistern as she shakes the drop of her bellend whilst letting out a crisp fart. 

Or he's shit the bed.

[Miles]

12 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

She must have got up for a huge man turd (lumpy crap) or a slash with one hand on the cistern as she shakes the drop of her bellend whilst letting out a crisp fart. 

Or he's shit the bed.

I shit the bed Ball Tucker. Did you get an id for that "golden fly"? 

[King Billy]

3 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

Designer stab vests, who'd have thort it...

Roops has been summoned to No.10 to save the country.  Thank God we’re safe now.

[Stubby Pecker]

2 hours ago, King Billy said:

Roops has been summoned to No.10 to save the country.  Thank God we’re safe now.

Spot on bally boy. Its clearly roops as shes just holstering that Glock 17 that was tossed to her (quite correctly) by her bodyguard when previously saving the world on a South American mission. 

[Stubby Pecker]

2 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said:

I shit the bed Ball Tucker. Did you get an id for that "golden fly"? 

Never mind that shite- just remember to do your fly up when leaving the ladies cubicle. The Doris's would get the fright of their lives if your lazy lob-on was poking out again after your pretend sit down wee wee.  

[King Billy]

37 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Spot on bally boy. Its clearly roops as shes just holstering that Glock 17 that was tossed to her (quite correctly) by her bodyguard when previously saving the world on a South American mission. 

She’s likely whispering to the copper...”Call that a gun son? This is a real gun. Step aside.”