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The Ford Capri


Miles

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21 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

The pic is in one of the gallery threads. It was my works vehicle, a Mercedes E220. Lovely car, very quiet, superlative ride comfort and the 9 speed was the smoothest auto I've driven. I don't wish to appear churlish but I never warmed to the car - it was a mite to big, a bit skittish on frosty and wet roads and above all, it was an old man's car. I normally drive Audi's but was seduced by the three pointed star. Thankfully I now drive an Audi S5 Sportback Quattro and it's brilliant.

Must be a bugger cleaning the spew off the back seats but I guess you have to put up with that, being a cabbie. 

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1 minute ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Must be a bugger cleaning the spew off the back seats but I guess you have to put up with that, being a cabbie. 

Did you ever manage to go back for the bodywork of the Capri that you nicked the vinyl roof off? 

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On 12/12/2018 at 2:16 PM, Ollyboro said:

Difficult one this. On the one hand you had Ray Doyle driving around like a maniacal cunt in a Capri. Now as much as a touchy-feely- new man- cunt -with a perm as Doyle was, he was unquestionably hard and saved us from all kinds of terrorists and ne'er do wells. On the other hand you had Terry fucking McCann tootling about in one whilst contributing to the black economy - thus putting up our taxes and insurance premiums. Mmm. The fact that Dennis Waterman is currently sporting Shergar's fucking teeth swings the Capri firmly into the Cunt camp. But at least it's not a Harley.

Can I suggest with debating powers like this you take over from Dimbleby on Question Time.

The 2.8 Capri was an absolute animal.  It had more rear swing than Beyoncé’s arse.  Only “real men” from the 1970s could handle one and live.    These snowflake battery powered cunts today wouldn’t survive a simple trip to the shops for a packet of Rothers and a wank mag without ending upside down in flames in a ditch.   Burnt orange would be the colour of choice with tartan interior.

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3 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Must be a bugger cleaning the spew off the back seats but I guess you have to put up with that, being a cabbie. 

It’s the spunk stains on the seats he finds difficult explaining to the Mrs.

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7 minutes ago, Monumental cunt said:

The 2.8 Capri was an absolute animal.  It had more rear swing than Beyoncé’s arse.  Only “real men” from the 1970s could handle one and live.    These snowflake battery powered cunts today wouldn’t survive a simple trip to the shops for a packet of Rothers and a wank mag without ending upside down in flames in a ditch.   Burnt orange would be the colour of choice with tartan interior.

Would the Jihadi John trio who carjacked your, er, RS5 in a McDonald's drive-thru at lunchtime been able to handle it?

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2 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Would the Jihadi John trio who carjacked your, er, RS5 in a McDonald's drive-thru at lunchtime been able to handle it?

Definately not.  The 2.8 Capri was a white mans car.  No self righteous Asian would dare own one.    They simply would not have the nerve to have the right permed hair and handle bar trash to own one.

They were all driving shit box Datsun Cherry’s in the 70s wearing fucking massive flared trousers.

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13 minutes ago, Monumental cunt said:

Can I suggest with debating powers like this you take over from Dimbleby on Question Time.

The 2.8 Capri was an absolute animal.  It had more rear swing than Beyoncé’s arse.  Only “real men” from the 1970s could handle one and live.    These snowflake battery powered cunts today wouldn’t survive a simple trip to the shops for a packet of Rothers and a wank mag without ending upside down in flames in a ditch.   Burnt orange would be the colour of choice with tartan interior.

I had the 2.8 laser. Black on top and graphite grey underneath with the red stripe. 1981 mk 3, when they reintroduced the twin round headlights.

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2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I had the 2.8 laser. Black on top and graphite grey underneath with the red stripe. 1981 mk 3, when they reintroduced the twin round headlights.

I never went the Ford route, I was more a Fiat Strada Abarth type in my youth.  

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  • 5 years later...
On 12/12/2018 at 15:57, Eric Cuntman said:

Mine was a 2.8 Laser, and it was fucking brilliant. Much better than your Hillman/Talbot/Chrysler Avenger (bet u had one) which were for librarians and last of the summer wine looking cunts.

I think I can already guess, but what are your thoughts on this piece of (almost literal) shit? 

The New All-Electric Ford Capri is here

ford-cx740l-eu-premium_model-3x2-1000x667.jpg

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1 minute ago, entitled little cunt said:

I thought it would be up your street to be honest.Put you in a TVR and you'd shit yourself .

When I'm talking to you, you'll know, because I'll type extra slowly, you painfully thick quarterwit.

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24 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

I think I can already guess, but what are your thoughts on this piece of (almost literal) shit? 

The New All-Electric Ford Capri is here

ford-cx740l-eu-premium_model-3x2-1000x667.jpg

I read the Auto Express write up yesterday morning. It’s a fat, heavy upholstered milk float. A Capri is a reasonably powerful, good looking coupe with a massive cock for a bonnet.

 Ferrari might as well glue a prancing horse to a fucking potato and call it a Daytona if this is what passes as an automotive resurrection.

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19 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

When I'm talking to you, you'll know, because I'll type extra slowly, you painfully thick quarterwit.

That's nice of you .Thankyou.

You really are very ordinary aren't  you. 

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21 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

I bet it was a pig to get rid of. 

In about 1993 it was already becoming a classic and sought after, so no, a piece of piss to sell. The year after that, I tried to sell a Dax Cobra. And finally sold it the year after that. If someone wants a 200 mph Le Mans car, they’ll probably be a billionaire and buy an original. Nobody wants a plastic one that someone else built. Even if it did have a small block Chevrolet V8 and was more fun than being raped by Bananarama in 1985.

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1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I read the Auto Express write up yesterday morning. It’s a fat, heavy upholstered milk float. A Capri is a reasonably powerful, good looking coupe with a massive cock for a bonnet.

 Ferrari might as well glue a prancing horse to a fucking potato and call it a Daytona if this is what passes as an automotive resurrection.

Have u seen how much a classic Capri costs to buy now? 

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22 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

In about 1993 it was already becoming a classic and sought after, so no, a piece of piss to sell. The year after that, I tried to sell a Dax Cobra. And finally sold it the year after that. If someone wants a 200 mph Le Mans car, they’ll probably be a billionaire and buy an original. Nobody wants a plastic one that someone else built. Even if it did have a small block Chevrolet V8 and was more fun than being raped by Bananarama in 1985.

That must of been A Cruel Summer 

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1 hour ago, scotty said:

I should think a 2.8 Laser would be sought after, Eric. In fact, I would think it unique. 

It was technically a 2.8i with laser graphics and the 2 tone split paintwork. It was fucking lovely though. I had it for about a year when I was in my early twenties and I thought it was fast… then a couple of years later I spent half an hour driving a Sierra Cosworth and I realised it wasn’t really.

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3 hours ago, entitled little cunt said:

I thought it would be up your street to be honest.Put you in a TVR and you'd shit yourself .

Yeah! What a fucking cunt! He’s no match for a hardcore petrol head like you! Bet you’ve driven cars that would scare most of us to death! You fucking wanker.

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3 hours ago, entitled little cunt said:

I thought it would be up your street to be honest.Put you in a TVR and you'd shit yourself .

I've always liked TVRs, saw a really nice looking bronzey yellow coloured Chimaera parked up recently with huge alloys, that 5 litre V8 sounded great when it started up and drove away.

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35 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

Yeah! What a fucking cunt! He’s no match for a hardcore petrol head like you! Bet you’ve driven cars that would scare most of us to death! You fucking wanker.

I haven’t driven supercars or anything, but I’ve had a go in some fast stuff like Cossies and Impreza WRXs. Although I’d be lying if I said I didn’t bottle it before they reached their limit. But one car I’d love to drive just because it’s a novelty, is a Reliant 3 wheeler. 
I get the idea of a 3 wheeled car, but the lunacy of putting the single wheel at the front escapes me. A single wheel at the back won’t cause it to roll over in a fast corner the way Reliants do.

 Have any of you lot ever had one?

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