Ape™️ Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 1 hour ago, Witheredscrote said: Too dry, and difficult to stuff. Another hilarious goose-based comment! Fucking class! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 7 hours ago, Queefer said: A castrated domestic cock fattened for eating Don't tell Frank he'll be slobbering at the very thought of a 'fattened cock'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 1 hour ago, DrCunt said: I would have thought you'd have well basted your Canada Goose first. Maybe it's the saltiness of the baste that's making it dry. You filthy cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 6 hours ago, cooze said: Thank fuck for that! For a moment there I thought i’d accidentally stumbled upon mums.net. Stick your Christmas cooking tips up your shitboxes. Poofs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Beast Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 5 minutes ago, judgetwi said: Thank fuck for that! For a moment there I thought i’d accidentally stumbled upon mums.net. Stick your Christmas cooking tips up your shitboxes. Poofs. Cunt. Just because the culinary choice is not some manky kebab wrapped in a stale pitta bread, served by a bunch of unhygienic Turks. The sort of cunts who put it under their axilla to keep the fucking thing warm for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 14 hours ago, Lord Punkape said: Firstly Christmas Dinner is for peasants.The meal should be eaten at lunchtime with all participants having been to a Christian Service in the morning. The traditional roast should be goose.Turkey is acceptable for lower-middle classes provided the bird is free range. For the better connected, such as myself, a better version of goose is roast Swan which I’ve arranged for the Punkapes through a friend in Oxford. Fuck off. Swan is the preserve of the Queens table only, by law. You are a cunt and so cannot serve such fair game at your table. Turkey Dinosaurs are more in line with your station in life. Served on a bed of potatoe smiley faces, accompanied by Aldi baked beans heated from the microwave. All washed down with American champagne.....or Pepsi max as it’s sold in the uk. for pudding Sir will be having a whole Terry’s chocolate orange, Ferret ratchets. A large tube of smarties and a Toblerone soo big even you couldn’t fit it up your arse. To be fair, that’s not a half bad shout for Xmas day dinner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 21 minutes ago, judgetwi said: Thank fuck for that! For a moment there I thought i’d accidentally stumbled upon mums.net. Stick your Christmas cooking tips up your shitboxes. Poofs. Is this NOT mums net??? Fucking hell I thought it was hence I’ve not said the word fucking ............. in ages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 19 minutes ago, judgetwi said: Thank fuck for that! For a moment there I thought i’d accidentally stumbled upon mums.net. Stick your Christmas cooking tips up your shitboxes. Poofs. Good old Jewdy! Like a Pol Pot henchman; nasty bastard but boy could he stack a neat shelf! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 (edited) Meat samosa starter. Ceylon chicken and pilau rice with Bombay potatoes. Retire to drawing room with bottle of Johnnie Walker, put 'Cross of Iron on DVD and tell any children or unwanted relatives to fuck right off. Perfect. Edited November 19, 2018 by Eric Cuntman Dessert is for puffs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Meat samosa starter. Ceylon chicken and pilau rice with Bombay potatoes. Retire to drawing room with bottle of Johnnie Walker, put 'Cross of Iron on DVD and tell any children or unwanted relatives to fuck right off. Perfect. Now you're talking Authoritah. Finish off with "Where Eagles Dare (the rodent cut)", where naked nuns pop up in every scene doing something unspeakable with jerry stick grenades. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 3 minutes ago, ratcum said: Now you're talking Authoritah. Finish off with "Where Eagles Dare (the rodent cut)", where naked nuns pop up in every scene doing something unspeakable with jerry stick grenades. Qualitah. Pop round about 2 pm. Tell Frau Rat & Junior that you need to gas some moles. I'll dig out my Horst Wessel 78s. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 39 minutes ago, Monumental cunt said: Swan is the preserve of the Queens table only, by law. You are a cunt and so cannot serve such fair game at your table. Turkey Dinosaurs are more in line with your station in life. Served on a bed of potatoe smiley faces, accompanied by Aldi baked beans heated from the microwave. All washed down with American champagne.....or Pepsi max as it’s sold in the uk. for pudding Sir will be having a whole Terry’s chocolate orange, Ferret ratchets. A large tube of smarties and a Toblerone soo big even you couldn’t fit it up your arse. To be fair, that’s not a half bad shout for Xmas day dinner. I feel sorry for Terry. Everyone wants to eat his chocolate orange. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 2 hours ago, The Beast said: Cunt. Just because the culinary choice is not some manky kebab wrapped in a stale pitta bread, served by a bunch of unhygienic Turks. The sort of cunts who put it under their axilla to keep the fucking thing warm for you. Racist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 12 hours ago, judgetwi said: Thank fuck for that! For a moment there I thought i’d accidentally stumbled upon mums.net. Stick your Christmas cooking tips up your shitboxes. Poofs. Christmas Day is on a Tuesday this year, which puts you right out of the equation in terms of being fed. Out of date stale Croissant reductions, as you will know, are on your every other Friday night out and at 5pm sharp. The chances of you being able to groom the shelf-fillers at your local TESCO's into knocking a £ off from a Mincingmeat Danish and a Pig in a Blanket are slim, even though it's on your agenda... You will undoubtedly therefore, do the same as you do most years by splashing-out for once one of the only foodstuff that you recognise as being 1 of your 5 a month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 12 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: Meat samosa starter. Ceylon chicken and pilau rice with Bombay potatoes. Retire to drawing room with bottle of Johnnie Walker, put 'Cross of Iron on DVD and tell any children or unwanted relatives to fuck right off. Perfect. One of Peckinpahs finest! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 15 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: Meat samosa starter. Ceylon chicken and pilau rice with Bombay potatoes. Retire to drawing room with bottle of Johnnie Walker, put 'Cross of Iron on DVD and tell any children or unwanted relatives to fuck right off. Perfect. 24th December: Put sprouts on to boil. Midnight Massacre. Man the Chimney to poach reindeer for lunch. Christmas Day: Watch back to back War & Peace. Boxing Day: Closed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miles Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 On 11/19/2018 at 8:47 AM, Lord Punkape said: is roast Swan which I’ve arranged for the Punkapes through a friend in Oxford. Fuck off. I would have thought a big well roasted Indian game cock would have been more to your taste. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Arthur Fuqs-Aches Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 On 11/19/2018 at 8:47 AM, Lord Punkape said: Firstly Christmas Dinner is for peasants.The meal should be eaten at lunchtime with all participants having been to a Christian Service in the morning. The traditional roast should be goose.Turkey is acceptable for lower-middle classes provided the bird is free range. For the better connected, such as myself, a better version of goose is roast Swan which I’ve arranged for the Punkapes through a friend in Oxford. Fuck off. Yeah roast swan I first had in a little place in Swanage. You'd never believe it would you? True it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 23 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: I feel sorry for Terry. Everyone wants to eat his chocolate orange. It’s not Terry’s , it’s mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 4 hours ago, Wybunbury Bertie said: I would have thought a big well roasted Indian game cock would have been more to your taste. A big black cock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted November 21, 2018 Report Share Posted November 21, 2018 23 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: Meat samosa starter. Ceylon chicken and pilau rice with Bombay potatoes. Retire to drawing room with bottle of Johnnie Walker, put 'Cross of Iron on DVD and tell any children or unwanted relatives to fuck right off. Perfect. That’s Diwali not Xmas dinner isn’t it? My personal favorite is, Steal a large tube of smarties off the kids in the morning Small party sausages on sticks, sausage rolls, ham and bread rolls, onion bargies, assorted Iceland frozen foods for lunch at 12 noon, washed down with what ever shit wine we have acquired from cunts at work. Dinner at 5pm is frozen Morrison’s turkey breast in butter, paxos stuffing, roast potatoes done to Delia’s recipe, peas, carrots, ........ I know it’s a huge faux....but I do enjoy aunt Bessie’s finest Yorkshire puddings with my Xmas dinner. Side dish of pigs in blankets. Condiments ....opus pickled walnuts. Northern boys luv gravy. Retire to the orangery, for parlour games. Break open the finest wines.....those costing between £6 to £9 per box. Served with a cardboard packet of cheese buscuits and assorted small cheeses from the coop. Watch TV. Pick the shittest musical on offer. Last year it was Oliver. Having not watched it all the way through since 1978 be amazed at how many songs you can sing all the way through ! Eastenders ominibus edition, always livens up a dull Xmas and makes one appreciate not living in a house full of miserable cockney wankers. Xmas treat blow job off the Mrs whilst watching Michal Hussein read the news. Perfect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted November 21, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 21, 2018 12 minutes ago, Monumental cunt said: That’s Diwali not Xmas dinner isn’t it? My personal favorite is, Steal a large tube of smarties off the kids in the morning Small party sausages on sticks, sausage rolls, ham and bread rolls, onion bargies, assorted Iceland frozen foods for lunch at 12 noon, washed down with what ever shit wine we have acquired from cunts at work. Dinner at 5pm is frozen Morrison’s turkey breast in butter, paxos stuffing, roast potatoes done to Delia’s recipe, peas, carrots, ........ I know it’s a huge faux....but I do enjoy aunt Bessie’s finest Yorkshire puddings with my Xmas dinner. Side dish of pigs in blankets. Condiments ....opus pickled walnuts. Northern boys luv gravy. Retire to the orangery, for parlour games. Break open the finest wines.....those costing between £6 to £9 per box. Served with a cardboard packet of cheese buscuits and assorted small cheeses from the coop. Watch TV. Pick the shittest musical on offer. Last year it was Oliver. Having not watched it all the way through since 1978 be amazed at how many songs you can sing all the way through ! Eastenders ominibus edition, always livens up a dull Xmas and makes one appreciate not living in a house full of miserable cockney wankers. Xmas treat blow job off the Mrs whilst watching Michal Hussein read the news. Perfect. You fucking peasant. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted November 21, 2018 Report Share Posted November 21, 2018 11 minutes ago, Monumental cunt said: That’s Diwali not Xmas dinner isn’t it? My personal favorite is, Steal a large tube of smarties off the kids in the morning Small party sausages on sticks, sausage rolls, ham and bread rolls, onion bargies, assorted Iceland frozen foods for lunch at 12 noon, washed down with what ever shit wine we have acquired from cunts at work. Dinner at 5pm is frozen Morrison’s turkey breast in butter, paxos stuffing, roast potatoes done to Delia’s recipe, peas, carrots, ........ I know it’s a huge faux....but I do enjoy aunt Bessie’s finest Yorkshire puddings with my Xmas dinner. Side dish of pigs in blankets. Condiments ....opus pickled walnuts. Northern boys luv gravy. Retire to the orangery, for parlour games. Break open the finest wines.....those costing between £6 to £9 per box. Served with a cardboard packet of cheese buscuits and assorted small cheeses from the coop. Watch TV. Pick the shittest musical on offer. Last year it was Oliver. Having not watched it all the way through since 1978 be amazed at how many songs you can sing all the way through ! Eastenders ominibus edition, always livens up a dull Xmas and makes one appreciate not living in a house full of miserable cockney wankers. Xmas treat blow job off the Mrs whilst watching Michal Hussein read the news. Perfect. And those little sausage rolls that aren't actually sausage rolls, with cheese & onion in the middle. I fuckin' hide them from every other cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted November 21, 2018 Report Share Posted November 21, 2018 2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: And those little sausage rolls that aren't actually sausage rolls, with cheese & onion in the middle. I fuckin' hide them from every other cunt. Nah...I do that with the Arctic Roll for pudding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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