Decimus Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 If I was 24 stone and ergo an absolute fucking disgrace, I would never allow myself to be seen in public, and I certainly would never heave my disgusting carcass through the streets whilst shovelling food into my fat fucking face. Strolling to work this morning, I was confronted by such a beast. In between gasping for breath after every step, the vile fucking cunt was shovelling the contents of a jumbo bag of kettle chips into it's gaping maw, all washed down with the biggest can of Monster I've ever seen. The urge to knock the piece of shit onto his back and spin him like a bottle whilst school kids laugh and chuck stones at him was overwhelming. Instead, I spent the rest of my journey fantasising that the colossal waste of skin would suffer an imminent coronary event, falling fat-face first onto his volcanically hot, jumbo Gregg's pasty. Dirty fucking pig. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 1 minute ago, Decimus said: If I was 24 stone and ergo an absolute fucking disgrace, I would never allow myself to be seen in public, and I certainly would never heave my disgusting carcass through the streets whilst shovelling food into my fat fucking face. Strolling to work this morning, I was confronted by such a beast. In between gasping for breath after every step, the vile fucking cunt was shovelling the contents of a jumbo bag of kettle chips into it's gaping maw, all washed down with the biggest can of Monster I've ever seen. The urge to knock the piece of shit onto his back and spin him like a bottle whilst school kids laugh and chuck stones at him was overwhelming. Instead, I spent the rest of my journey fantasising that the colossal waste of skin would suffer an imminent coronary event, falling fat-face first onto his volcanically hot, jumbo Gregg's pasty. Dirty fucking pig. Were you bullied at school? Just asking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 26 minutes ago, Decimus said: If I was 24 stone and ergo an absolute fucking disgrace, I would never allow myself to be seen in public, and I certainly would never heave my disgusting carcass through the streets whilst shovelling food into my fat fucking face. Strolling to work this morning, I was confronted by such a beast. In between gasping for breath after every step, the vile fucking cunt was shovelling the contents of a jumbo bag of kettle chips into it's gaping maw, all washed down with the biggest can of Monster I've ever seen. The urge to knock the piece of shit onto his back and spin him like a bottle whilst school kids laugh and chuck stones at him was overwhelming. Instead, I spent the rest of my journey fantasising that the colossal waste of skin would suffer an imminent coronary event, falling fat-face first onto his volcanically hot, jumbo Gregg's pasty. Dirty fucking pig. ...and they have the crass bloody nerve to call it 'body shaming', like that's a bad thing. They've always got these pat, little cod-psychology, victim-mentality phrases to excuse themselves, haven't they? Oh and they love the fucking NHS so much - not enough to put down the doughnuts and go for a walk of course - but it's about how you feel and stuff and anyway it's a thyroid complaint and 'Personal Responsibility? It went thataway >>>>>>>>' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 Just to feed his obsession. Enjoy Decs, and don't splaff on your blotter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerncunt Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 2 hours ago, Decimus said: If I was 24 stone and ergo an absolute fucking disgrace, I would never allow myself to be seen in public, and I certainly would never heave my disgusting carcass through the streets whilst shovelling food into my fat fucking face. Strolling to work this morning, I was confronted by such a beast. In between gasping for breath after every step, the vile fucking cunt was shovelling the contents of a jumbo bag of kettle chips into it's gaping maw, all washed down with the biggest can of Monster I've ever seen. The urge to knock the piece of shit onto his back and spin him like a bottle whilst school kids laugh and chuck stones at him was overwhelming. Instead, I spent the rest of my journey fantasising that the colossal waste of skin would suffer an imminent coronary event, falling fat-face first onto his volcanically hot, jumbo Gregg's pasty. Dirty fucking pig. Excellent nom, decs. It shits me to fucking tears when these corpulent fucking cunts make no effort to improve themselves. Mind you, a 5 piece feed of KFC is cheaper than a fucking cauliflower most of the time, but really. Stop cramming your full to bursting jowls with shit, get off your arse and walk, and stop pushing up my health insurance premiums by being a lazy, blame everyone else sweaty fucking bargearse. Fuck right off. And yes, it’s perfectly acceptable to pick on fat cunts who choose to be fat cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 3 hours ago, Decimus said: If I was 24 stone and ergo an absolute fucking disgrace, I would never allow myself to be seen in public, and I certainly would never heave my disgusting carcass through the streets whilst shovelling food into my fat fucking face. Strolling to work this morning, I was confronted by such a beast. In between gasping for breath after every step, the vile fucking cunt was shovelling the contents of a jumbo bag of kettle chips into it's gaping maw, all washed down with the biggest can of Monster I've ever seen. The urge to knock the piece of shit onto his back and spin him like a bottle whilst school kids laugh and chuck stones at him was overwhelming. Instead, I spent the rest of my journey fantasising that the colossal waste of skin would suffer an imminent coronary event, falling fat-face first onto his volcanically hot, jumbo Gregg's pasty. Dirty fucking pig. I was fucking hungry, alright? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miles Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 3 hours ago, Decimus said: If I was 24 stone and ergo an absolute fucking disgrace, I would never allow myself to be seen in public, and I certainly would never heave my disgusting carcass through the streets whilst shovelling food into my fat fucking face. Strolling to work this morning, I was confronted by such a beast. In between gasping for breath after every step, the vile fucking cunt was shovelling the contents of a jumbo bag of kettle chips into it's gaping maw, all washed down with the biggest can of Monster I've ever seen. The urge to knock the piece of shit onto his back and spin him like a bottle whilst school kids laugh and chuck stones at him was overwhelming. Instead, I spent the rest of my journey fantasising that the colossal waste of skin would suffer an imminent coronary event, falling fat-face first onto his volcanically hot, jumbo Gregg's pasty. Dirty fucking pig. Was he carrying a golf club and wearing plus fours? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 3 hours ago, Witheredscrote said: Just to feed his obsession. Enjoy Decs, and don't splaff on your blotter. I may never splaff again after watching that - probably the longest minute of my life! "Jamie is proud of her forty-inch waist". And there's your problem, right there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted October 30, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 4 hours ago, Alfred Noakes said: Were you bullied at school? Just asking. Here's a true story. At High School, there was a kid from Manchester who moved to the area and lived on a local council estate. He was obviously neglected, and would come into school covered in bruises, unwashed and with the same clothes on nearly everyday. He never had any PE kit, and always had to play in his vest or borrow lost property items. One day, we had a short assembly where we were told that his mum had died, and that when he returned to school we were to be nice to him and understand he would be upset. The day he came back, just like every other day before, I called him a dirty fucking tramp, and took the piss out of him for skanking free school dinners. I also gave him stick over his dead mother. So no, I wasn't bullied, and yes, I encourage my own children to also pick on those weaker than them. It's a dog eat dog world, and bullying sorts out the men from the boys. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 1 minute ago, Decimus said: Here's a true story. At High School, there was a kid from Manchester who moved to the area and lived on a local council estate. He was obviously neglected, and would come into school covered in bruises, unwashed and with the same clothes on nearly everyday. He never had any PE kit, and always had to play in his vest or borrow lost property items. One day, we had a short assembly where we were told that his mum had died, and that when he returned to school we were to be nice to him and understand he would be upset. The day he came back, just like every other day before, I called him a dirty fucking tramp, and took the piss out of him for skanking free school dinners. I also gave him stick over his dead mother. So no, I wasn't bullied, and yes, I encourage my own children to also pick on those weaker than them. It's a dog eat dog world, and bullying sorts out the men from the boys. You were made for local government, weren't you? 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Queefer Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 22 minutes ago, Decimus said: Here's a true story. At High School, there was a kid from Manchester who moved to the area and lived on a local council estate. He was obviously neglected, and would come into school covered in bruises, unwashed and with the same clothes on nearly everyday. He never had any PE kit, and always had to play in his vest or borrow lost property items. One day, we had a short assembly where we were told that his mum had died, and that when he returned to school we were to be nice to him and understand he would be upset. The day he came back, just like every other day before, I called him a dirty fucking tramp, and took the piss out of him for skanking free school dinners. I also gave him stick over his dead mother. So no, I wasn't bullied, and yes, I encourage my own children to also pick on those weaker than them. It's a dog eat dog world, and bullying sorts out the men from the boys. Oh and Jenkins , apparently your mother died this morning .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 Had a big fat African woman once, who came into our waiting room to see one of the Doctors. She then proceeded to scoff the entire contents of a large box of Morley's fried chicken and chips, stinking the whole fucking place out. When she had finished she left the box full of bones and chips on the seat next to her. What made it more fucking dire was the fact that she was rabbiting at full blast on her phone in whatever language it was she spoke. When she was called in she apparently sat there in front of the clinician still yakking on the phone. Thank fuck I don't work in that shit hole anymore. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted October 30, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 6 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Had a big fat African woman once, who came into our waiting room to see one of the Doctors. She then proceeded to scoff the entire contents of a large box of Morley's fried chicken and chips, stinking the whole fucking place out. When she had finished she left the box full of bones and chips on the seat next to her. What made it more fucking dire was the fact that she was rabbiting at full blast on her phone in whatever language it was she spoke. When she was called in she apparently sat there in front of the clinician still yakking on the phone. Thank fuck I don't work in that shit hole anymore. You'd assume that Diane Abbott could afford to go private. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 38 minutes ago, Decimus said: Here's a true story. At High School, there was a kid from Manchester who moved to the area and lived on a local council estate. He was obviously neglected, and would come into school covered in bruises, unwashed and with the same clothes on nearly everyday. He never had any PE kit, and always had to play in his vest or borrow lost property items. One day, we had a short assembly where we were told that his mum had died, and that when he returned to school we were to be nice to him and understand he would be upset. The day he came back, just like every other day before, I called him a dirty fucking tramp, and took the piss out of him for skanking free school dinners. I also gave him stick over his dead mother. So no, I wasn't bullied, and yes, I encourage my own children to also pick on those weaker than them. It's a dog eat dog world, and bullying sorts out the men from the boys. Now the cunt is firing people on 'The apprentice'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Erroreptile404 Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 46 minutes ago, Decimus said: So no, I wasn't bullied, and yes, I encourage my own children to also pick on those weaker than them. It's a dog eat dog world, and bullying sorts out the men from the boys. Your kids will wind up the school psycho to the point he murders everyone including them in a Columbine type scenario. Just saying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted October 30, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 4 minutes ago, EreptileDysfunction said: Your kids will wind up the school psycho to the point he murders everyone including them in a Columbine type scenario. Just saying. I'd rather that than they end up some emasculated poof brainwashed by the shite that they churn out at school nowadays. There's nothing like indulging in a good bit of bullying to prepare you for the real world. I don't hold with all this "tell a teacher"shit, and certainly not with the attitude that it's the taking part that counts, not the winning. A sense of competition and aggression needs to be instilled in children, especially boys. It won us an Empire, this current batch of wet cunts would struggle to win us a badminton tournament. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 1 hour ago, Decimus said: Here's a true story. Which translates to Complete Bollocks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 7 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: Which translates to Complete Bollocks You're lacking subtlety and bite of late, Withers; appearing suddenly without warning or anything to offer, then disappearing again, much like a blood blister after a rather sneaky yet exuberant wank in the toilets. Everything ok? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miles Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 29 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: Which translates to Complete Bollocks Dec's went feral several weeks ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted October 30, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 1 hour ago, Witheredscrote said: Which translates to Complete Bollocks Withers! I imagine that your school days were a traumatic experience which shaped you into the grassing little weasel you are today. Either side of the channel, it couldn't have been easy to be half English, half French. I take great delight in picturing you getting an absolute fucking kicking in an English playground for being a half-breed toad, and also smile at the thought of French children across the pond sneering at your bastardised Franglais attempts at communication. Equally despised by two nations, I'm both surprised and disappointed that you didn't become a teenage suicide statistic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Trumpton Bacon Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 21 minutes ago, Decimus said: Equally despised by two nations, I'm both surprised and disappointed that you didn't become a teenage suicide statistic. You're on fucking fire today you turpitudinous cunt. Have several likes, in fact, have the fucking lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 4 minutes ago, Trumpton Bacon said: You're on fucking fire today you turpitudinous cunt. Have several likes, in fact, have the fucking lot. If only. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 3 hours ago, Decimus said: Here's a true story. At High School, there was a kid from Manchester who moved to the area and lived on a local council estate. He was obviously neglected, and would come into school covered in bruises, unwashed and with the same clothes on nearly everyday. He never had any PE kit, and always had to play in his vest or borrow lost property items. One day, we had a short assembly where we were told that his mum had died, and that when he returned to school we were to be nice to him and understand he would be upset. The day he came back, just like every other day before, I called him a dirty fucking tramp, and took the piss out of him for skanking free school dinners. I also gave him stick over his dead mother. So no, I wasn't bullied, and yes, I encourage my own children to also pick on those weaker than them. It's a dog eat dog world, and bullying sorts out the men from the boys. its just a great pity the poor lad didn't own a wild kestrel which he had lovingly hand reared from a chick, it would have been just and right to wring its neck to show him the futility of his life and a lesson in disciplne. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Couldn't give a shit Posted October 30, 2018 Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 4 hours ago, Decimus said: Here's a true story. At High School, there was a kid from Manchester who moved to the area and lived on a local council estate. He was obviously neglected, and would come into school covered in bruises, unwashed and with the same clothes on nearly everyday. He never had any PE kit, and always had to play in his vest or borrow lost property items. One day, we had a short assembly where we were told that his mum had died, and that when he returned to school we were to be nice to him and understand he would be upset. The day he came back, just like every other day before, I called him a dirty fucking tramp, and took the piss out of him for skanking free school dinners. I also gave him stick over his dead mother. So no, I wasn't bullied, and yes, I encourage my own children to also pick on those weaker than them. It's a dog eat dog world, and bullying sorts out the men from the boys. How did his mum die? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted October 30, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 2 minutes ago, Couldn't give a shit said: How did his mum die? Horribly, I hope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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