Guest Bill Stickers Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 The Christmas period, where you end up round a load of people's houses you're tenuously connected to, but hardly know. On several occasions I've got ready to drop my guts in unfamiliar surroundings, only to find no lock has been installed by the homeowner. Deeply, deeply suspicious individuals. Probably best they are reported, before they burst in on some unsuspecting teenage nephew or elderly pensioner, furiously tugging on their oily little member. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 4 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said: The Christmas period, where you end up round a load of people's houses you're tenuously connected to, but hardly know. On several occasions I've got ready to drop my guts in unfamiliar surroundings, only to find no lock has been installed by the homeowner. Deeply, deeply suspicious individuals. Probably best they are reported, before they burst in on some unsuspecting teenage nephew or elderly pensioner, furiously tugging on their oily little member. This nom has all the attributes of your colon, pre dump. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 3 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: This nom has all the attributes of your colon, pre dump. How's the cancer inside yours? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 I grew up in a house that not only had no lock but also a stained glass window in the door,perhaps this explains why I can walk around with a boner on or piss anywhere without any shame.Group wank anyone? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 4 minutes ago, Neil said: I grew up in a house that not only had no lock but also a stained glass window in the door,perhaps this explains why I can walk around with a boner on or piss anywhere without any shame.Group wank anyone? Can you remember much of your childhood, or it is mostly a hazy mist of suppressed memories and sustained rectal pain? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 1 hour ago, William T.D. Stickers said: Deeply, deeply suspicious individuals. Probably best they are reported, before they burst in on some unsuspecting teenage nephew or elderly pensioner, furiously tugging on their oily little member. There's no need for them to burst in. the concealed video cameras will capture everything. I know mine do. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 1 hour ago, Neil said: I grew up in a house that not only had no lock but also a stained glass window in the door, I dread to fucking think what it was stained with, Neil. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hokey Gingers Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 An elderly American couple decided to see out their twilight years living in "olde" rural Ireland. After viewing a few properties they came across a promising old house situated in the back of beyond. The owner gave them the tour, upstairs and down, showing them around the property. It seemed just what they were looking for. The American gentleman made Paddy aware they were enchanted with the house although something had struck them as odd. " Paddy, where`s the john?" Paddy led them straight down the stairs, straight out the back door and down to the bottom of the garden where a wooden structure stood. He opened the door and there was a bench seat with a large hole cut in the middle. The yanks seemed somewhat lost for words. "Gee Paddy, there`s no lock on that door!" Paddy replied " Well, i`ve lived here all my life, and my father before me, and his father before him and we`ve never had a bucket of shit stolen yet." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 2 minutes ago, Hokey Gingers said: An elderly American couple decided to see out their twilight years living in "olde" rural Ireland. After viewing a few properties they came across a promising old house situated in the back of beyond. The owner gave them the tour, upstairs and down, showing them around the property. It seemed just what they were looking for. The American gentleman made Paddy aware they were enchanted with the house although something had struck them as odd. " Paddy, where`s the john?" Paddy led them straight down the stairs, straight out the back door and down to the bottom of the garden where a wooden structure stood. He opened the door and there was a bench seat with a large hole cut in the middle. The yanks seemed somewhat lost for words. "Gee Paddy, there`s no lock on that door!" Paddy replied " Well, i`ve lived here all my life, and my father before me, and his father before him and we`ve never had a bucket of shit stolen yet." He's here all week folks. There's a few tickets left but they're selling fast Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 4 hours ago, William T.D. Stickers said: The Christmas period, where you end up round a load of people's houses you're tenuously connected to, but hardly know. On several occasions I've got ready to drop my guts in unfamiliar surroundings, only to find no lock has been installed by the homeowner. Deeply, deeply suspicious individuals. Probably best they are reported, before they burst in on some unsuspecting teenage nephew or elderly pensioner, furiously tugging on their oily little member. On a trip to Canada some years ago I ran into this problem, over there if a bog door is shut then it is occupied, the door must be ajar to indicate that it is indeed free. Round the relatives house I was staying in it took some willpower not to put something heavy against the door whilst dropping the kids off. Savages ayuh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 11 hours ago, William T.D. Stickers said: The Christmas period, where you end up round a load of people's houses you're tenuously connected to, but hardly know. On several occasions I've got ready to drop my guts in unfamiliar surroundings, only to find no lock has been installed by the homeowner. Deeply, deeply suspicious individuals. Probably best they are reported, before they burst in on some unsuspecting teenage nephew or elderly pensioner, furiously tugging on their oily little member. If someone had the audacity to lock my toilet door, I would promptly kick the door in and shite right down their throats, then wipe my arse with their clothes. Fucking liberty taking chancer cunts. Fuck do you think you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 6 hours ago, luke swarm said: On a trip to Canada some years ago I ran into this problem, over there if a bog door is shut then it is occupied, the door must be ajar to indicate that it is indeed free. Round the relatives house I was staying in it took some willpower not to put something heavy against the door whilst dropping the kids off. Savages ayuh You could have wedged your wheelchair against it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 Just now, Quincy Cockfingers said: You could have wedged your wheelchair against it. you Imbecile, my wheelchair has inbuilt facilities for just such a situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 4 minutes ago, luke swarm said: you Imbecile, my wheelchair has inbuilt facilities for just such a situation. Of course- a tube connected to a lunchbox. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 17 minutes ago, luke swarm said: you Imbecile, my wheelchair has inbuilt facilities for just such a situation. Lady P is the only wheelchair user on The Corner. Say it isn't so Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 What type of cunt knocks away and rattles the handle of a door with frosted windows, through which you can see clearly that the light is on, when you've been trying your best to push out a post-christmas dinner shit for about 15 minutes, and are just about to tap the ash off? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 2 minutes ago, ratcum said: Lady P is the only wheelchair user on The Corner. Say it isn't so I am afraid its true Ratty, I stole it from City Hospital some years ago whilst stalking some nurses, its fucking great for getting around especially for queue jumping in Weatherspoons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 7 minutes ago, ratcum said: Lady P is the only wheelchair user on The Corner. Say it isn't so "User" or "Abuser" .. what is it that you are trying to say? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 7 minutes ago, luke swarm said: I am afraid its true Ratty, I stole it from City Hospital some years ago whilst stalking some nurses, its fucking great for getting around especially for queue jumping in Weatherspoons. spaz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 5 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said: "User" or "Abuser" .. what is it that you are trying to say? We've done this before Janet. Years ago you had a go at Catwoman for making a joke about wheelchair wallahs, claiming you were one. Where you lying then? Or now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gronda Gronda Posted December 29, 2017 Report Share Posted December 29, 2017 45 minutes ago, ratcum said: We've done this before Janet. Years ago you had a go at Catwoman for making a joke about wheelchair wallahs, claiming you were one. Where you lying then? Or now? If it turns out that she required a wheelchair only at that time due to an injury, you're going to feel rather remorseful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted December 29, 2017 Report Share Posted December 29, 2017 1 hour ago, nocti said: What type of cunt knocks away and rattles the handle of a door with frosted windows, through which you can see clearly that the light is on, when you've been trying your best to push out a post-christmas dinner shit for about 15 minutes, and are just about to tap the ash off? @Quincy Cockfingers ? @Punkape? Is this a trick question? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted December 29, 2017 Report Share Posted December 29, 2017 8 hours ago, ratcum said: We've done this before Janet. Years ago you had a go at Catwoman for making a joke about wheelchair wallahs, claiming you were one. Where you lying then? Or now? Neither, you've gone off track and turned all serious, in any event I use a walking frame. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted December 29, 2017 Report Share Posted December 29, 2017 8 hours ago, ratcum said: spaz yes I expect he was. a wheelchair deficient one now lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted December 29, 2017 Report Share Posted December 29, 2017 Would you lock the bathroom door if you were at Oscar Pistorius's house? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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