Jake The Muss Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 It won't be long til Cuntmas and opening a few crappy pressies from cunts you don't like and they probably don't like you. Clothes that are too big or too small, the worst smelling fragrances on the planet, i was going to say known to mankind but there are some loony lefties on here and i didn't want to be accused of being sexist. I'm sure the pound shops make a wonderful profit this time of year and who knows, this time next year, you might be able to buy your turkey from a pound shop. So what's your worst presents you have had over the years ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 One of those faux leather passport covers and a pile of travel brochures. On the top brochure was a post-it note which read “ fuck off and don’t come back.” Cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 A used tube of Anusol marked “ sorry to have been such a pain in your arse all year”. Cunt. Still, he’s dead now. Hung himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Trumpton Bacon Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 6 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: A used tube of Anusol marked “ sorry to have been such a pain in your arse all year”. Cunt. Still, he’s dead now. Hung himself. Sorry for the loss of your boyfriend Doc. Anyway, you're a free agent now and so is Punkape. Go on, fill his eighteenth hole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 7 minutes ago, Ogri Trumpton - Bacon said: Sorry for the loss of your boyfriend Doc. Anyway, you're a free agent now and so is Punkape. Go on, fill his eighteenth hole. Oddball Tosspot-Bollockbrain. lol. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 27 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: A used tube of Anusol marked “ sorry to have been such a pain in your arse all year”. Cunt. Still, he’s dead now. Hung himself. Hung himself with tinsel? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 Just now, camberwell gypsy said: Hung himself with tinsel? Good evening. Whats on your table for Christmas Dinner ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Trumpton Bacon Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 10 minutes ago, Punkape said: Oddball Tosspot-Bollockbrain. lol. Fuck off. Crazy golf caddy gimp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 6 minutes ago, Punkape said: Good evening. Whats on your table for Christmas Dinner ? That's none of your fucking business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 What a load of old cock this nomination is. I'm pretty sure I heard the local women's institute discuss their worst Xmas presents last time I was hiding in their village hall peeping and wanking. You literally nominate the same subject matter that old ladies and tween magazines discuss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted December 7, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 19 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said: What a load of old cock this nomination is. I'm pretty sure I heard the local women's institute discuss their worst Xmas presents last time I was hiding in their village hall peeping and wanking. You literally nominate the same subject matter that old ladies and tween magazines discuss. Bill, would you please kindly remove yourself from any further participation on this thread and kindly remove yourself from the sub human race as they don't want you either. Take your childish toddler antics to the open corner and wait for me there, i will be along shortly to embarrass you some more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 18 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said: What a load of old cock this nomination is. I'm pretty sure I heard the local women's institute discuss their worst Xmas presents last time I was hiding in their village hall peeping and wanking. You literally nominate the same subject matter that old ladies and tween magazines discuss. You're defiantly on FCs naughty list this year billiam. All those spells in the cooler for acting the gobshite won't go unnoticed by the big fella. The worst present for the corner would be that you didn't drink yourself to death, fail to brain haemorrhage from bad wanger or not get brutally raped to death by a gang of Somali immigrants this festive period. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 28 minutes ago, Fender777 said: Bill, would you please kindly remove yourself from any further participation on this thread and kindly remove yourself from the sub human race as they don't want you either. Take your childish toddler antics to the open corner and wait for me there, i will be along shortly to embarrass you some more. 26 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: You're defiantly on FCs naughty list this year billiam. All those spells in the cooler for acting the gobshite won't go unnoticed by the big fella. The worst present for the corner would be that you didn't drink yourself to death, fail to brain haemorrhage from bad wanger or not get brutally raped to death by a gang of Somali immigrants this festive period. Here they are! The moron twins. Any moment the minion Snatch will pop his little peanut head up too. A ragtag ramshackle slapdash clique if I ever saw one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 Worst gift ever, was what was supposed to be a laptop computer cooling fan, powered by USB. The fucking thing got hotter than the computer! I'm glad I let my wife give it the first run, as it heated her amazonian forest down to a very short, well manicured bonsai! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 9 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said: Here they are! The moron twins. Any moment the minion Snatch will pop his little peanut head up too. A ragtag ramshackle slapdash clique if I ever saw one. Give it a rest bill, you take things far too seriously here, it's just lads having a laugh. On that note, please divulge some tales of your recent stay in the cooler for abject thickness. You lifers really should behave a bit more. Was it worse than your previous multiple month incarceration for crimes untold (probably acting like a silly little cunt unable to stick to the rules)? Did you finger dings arsehole in solitary? And did frank, decs and bubba visit so you could smash one out, Midnight Express style? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Trumpton Bacon Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 25 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said: Here they are! The moron twins. Any moment the minion Snatch will pop his little peanut head up too. A ragtag ramshackle slapdash clique if I ever saw one. Evening Bill. Still working swing shift at the trombone factory? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted December 7, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 25 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said: Here they are! The moron twins. Any moment the minion Snatch will pop his little peanut head up too. A ragtag ramshackle slapdash clique if I ever saw one. I have bought you a fanny trimmer for Cuntmas, as you behave like an old tart i thought you would appreciate it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted December 7, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 16 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: Worst gift ever, was what was supposed to be a laptop computer cooling fan, powered by USB. The fucking thing got hotter than the computer! I'm glad I let my wife give it the first run, as it heated her amazonian forest down to a very short, well manicured bonsai! Haha, does the wife use it regular now ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 7 minutes ago, Fender777 said: Haha, does the wife use it regular now ? She prefers the large old cunt desktop. She can sit in the nice chair, and tap away at the keys shopping for girly things and telling idiots on Facebook to fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 9 minutes ago, Fender777 said: Haha, does the wife use it regular now ? Good to see you're putting some time in on here 7s. I was worried you'd become a fair weather cunt. I've been holding up my end Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 4 minutes ago, ratcum said: Good to see you're putting some time in on here 7s. I was worried you'd become a fair weather cunt. I've been holding up my end You should be very careful doing that, Punkape is NOT currently in the cooler. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted December 7, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 3 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: She prefers the large old cunt desktop. She can sit in the nice chair, and tap away at the keys shopping for girly things and telling idiots on Facebook to fuck off. I got rid of my old desk top as the cunt sounded like Heathrow airport on a good day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted December 7, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 5 minutes ago, ratcum said: Good to see you're putting some time in on here 7s. I was worried you'd become a fair weather cunt. I've been holding up my end It's the cross i have to bear TOT, i'm a bit worried about what end you're holding up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 Just now, Wizardsleeve said: You should be very careful doing that, Punkape is NOT currently in the cooler. I like old Punky. I'm thinking of launching a range of preserves made out of dead royals. Mountbatten Jam will have bits in it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 2 minutes ago, ratcum said: I like old Punky. I'm thinking of launching a range of preserves made out of dead royals. Mountbatten Jam will have bits in it He'll absolutely squeal in delight to read that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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