Guest luke swarm Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 Were you an inspiring Actress , Entertainer or in any way involved in showbusiness in the 70s 80s or 90s ? If so do you know that you should call us immediately You may not be aware but the government has set a deadline to make a claim for the following occurrences: Rape, with or without part being offered Unwanted Touching up Making you take a hot shower and insisting on towelling you down Cockflashing Making you Swallow when you wanted to spit Making you say "who's your Daddy" Not offering you the part unless you agreed to toss his salad Looking at you in a lewd way. Forcing you to administer a golden shower Forcefeeding you Pork Products In fact anything really, make sure it happened a long time ago, that there are no witnesses and that the person you are accusing has bags of cash ,and is some sort of big noise in Hollywood. We specialise in jumping on this sort of bandwagon and pretty much guarantee that we will get you some compo, if no compo is forthcoming just think of the publicity for your flagging career and pictures of you in the Daily Star and The Scum. We have hundreds of satisfied forgotten c list celebrities who got free money and publicity out of this free for all. You deserve some sort of compensation so Please hurry and contact us on the details below. L Swarm and Partners, Bandwagon House, StupidCunt Street, Wolverhampton. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 Gladstone Brookes will be in touch shortly about your blatant plagiarising of their sales pitch - and they're fucking proper lawyers and everything, you know! Well, nearly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 16 minutes ago, luke swarm said: Were you an inspiring Actress , Entertainer or in any way involved in showbusiness in the 70s 80s or 90s ? If so do you know that you should call us immediately You may not be aware but the government has set a deadline to make a claim for the following occurrences: Rape, with or without part being offered Unwanted Touching up Making you take a hot shower and insisting on towelling you down Cockflashing Making you Swallow when you wanted to spit Making you say "who's your Daddy" Not offering you the part unless you agreed to toss his salad Looking at you in a lewd way. Forcing you to administer a golden shower Forcefeeding you Pork Products In fact anything really, make sure it happened a long time ago, that there are no witnesses and that the person you are accusing has bags of cash ,and is some sort of big noise in Hollywood. We specialise in jumping on this sort of bandwagon and pretty much guarantee that we will get you some compo, if no compo is forthcoming just think of the publicity for your flagging career and pictures of you in the Daily Star and The Scum. We have hundreds of satisfied forgotten c list celebrities who got free money and publicity out of this free for all. You deserve some sort of compensation so Please hurry and contact us on the details below. L Swarm and Partners, Bandwagon House, StupidCunt Street, Wolverhampton. 16 minutes ago, luke swarm said: You deserve some sort of compensation so Please hurry and contact us on the details below. L Swarm and Partners, Bandwagon House, StupidCunt Street, Wolverhampton. I was fisted by Mike & Bernie Winters in 1964, and have a photo of my ripped ringpiece. Have I got a legitimate claim here? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 4 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: I was fisted by Mike & Bernie Winters in 1964, and have a photo of my ripped ringpiece. Have I got a legitimate claim here? Schnorbitz? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 Just now, Eric Cuntman said: Schnorbitz? Yes, that fucking slobbering St. Bernard dog of theirs. The dog made the cunts famous celebrities, it used to suck off Sir Lew Grade apparently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 1 minute ago, Witheredscrote said: Yes, that fucking slobbering St. Bernard dog of theirs. The dog made the cunts famous celebrities, it used to suck off Sir Lew Grade apparently. I remember Bernie, was on telly usually at Xmas when I was a kid. The brother wasn't as well known I don't think. He was ever so slightly less shit than that cunt Clifton, riding the fucking ostrich. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 14 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: I was fisted by Mike & Bernie Winters in 1964, and have a photo of my ripped ringpiece. Have I got a legitimate claim here? I am afraid the Winter Siblings have both moved on and no longer viable for an unsubstantiated claim. However, we would like see the photos of your ravaged back passage out of scientific interest and to warn others against St Bernard attack Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 I got a Jim'll Fix It badge for playing Greensleeves on a Stylophone, do I get a double pay out? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 1 hour ago, Witheredscrote said: I was fisted by Mike & Bernie Winters in 1964, and have a photo of my ripped ringpiece. Have I got a legitimate claim here? Did Bernie say "HEEEEEEEEEEEEE" when he was doing it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 Freddie Starr ate my hamster Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 On 17/10/2017 at 6:37 PM, Witheredscrote said: I was fisted by Mike & Bernie Winters in 1964, and have a photo of my ripped ringpiece. Have I got a legitimate claim here? Are you sure it wasn't a hand/beak job Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 It's not rape if you yell "Surprise!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 25 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: I got a Jim'll Fix It badge for playing Greensleeves on a Stylophone, do I get a double pay out? I always thought you was the lad that Jim fixed it for to "Milk a cow whilst blindfolded" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 4 minutes ago, Neil said: Freddie Starr ate my hamster Your hamster might have a very strong case...cunnilingus on a rodent is classed as bestiality, a serious offence and worth a shiny pound or two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 36 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: I got a Jim'll Fix It badge for playing Greensleeves on a Stylophone, do I get a double pay out? Now then now then Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 11 minutes ago, Eddie said: Are you sure it wasn't a hand/beak job He would have been no good nicking lead off church roofs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 1 minute ago, camberwell gypsy said: He would have been no good nicking lead off church roofs. Good ambassador for Unilever, promoting Ariel & Bounce. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 11 minutes ago, luke swarm said: Your hamster might have a very strong case...cunnilingus on a rodent is classed as bestiality, a serious offence and worth a shiny pound or two. fuck off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 29 minutes ago, ratcum said: fuck off Has Valdez arrived yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: Has Valdez arrived yet? missed his connection at Crewe, the sombrero wearing code Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 10 minutes ago, ratcum said: missed his connection at Crewe, the sombrero wearing code The dopey cunt got off at Sandbach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Cunt Posted October 17, 2017 Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 I dreamt that Simon Cowell was bumming me whilst I was shagging his mum, and when I woke up I'd shit the bed. Can I get some money? (Asking on behalf of a friend.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted October 18, 2017 Report Share Posted October 18, 2017 6 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: He would have been no good nicking lead off church roofs. Fuck off Grot Bags. Lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted October 18, 2017 Report Share Posted October 18, 2017 Do I get any compensation for the pain and discomfort caused when Jeremy Beadle used to fist me?, on the other hand.............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Back door specialist Posted October 18, 2017 Report Share Posted October 18, 2017 5 hours ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: Do I get any compensation for the pain and discomfort caused when Jeremy Beadle used to fist me?, on the other hand.............. Did he use his "child" hand or his normal sized one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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