Ape™️ Posted July 28, 2017 Report Share Posted July 28, 2017 When I'm away on business, away from my wife and in need of a little sexual gratification, I often have a wank in the shower. If I'm lucky, the shower head will be on a flexible hose, thus allowing me to enjoy a tantalising stream of warm water on my cock and balls. Often, the shower heads have adjustable spray patterns available, allowing the most pleasurable one to be determined through experimentation. Lately I've been extremely disappointed by a string of hotels with fixed shower heads that offer none of the aforementioned delights, and that's no fucking fun at all. Cunts. Any bloke that denies any knowledge of this pleasure is a fucking liar. Fuck off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 28, 2017 Report Share Posted July 28, 2017 That's ShowerSpack! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Beast Posted July 28, 2017 Report Share Posted July 28, 2017 11 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: That's ShowerSpack! ShowerSpank? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 28, 2017 Report Share Posted July 28, 2017 Just now, The Beast said: ShowerSpank? Make you right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted July 28, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2017 Surely it's just plain and simple ShowerWank? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 28, 2017 Report Share Posted July 28, 2017 8 minutes ago, Ape said: Surely it's just plain and simple ShowerWank? That's NumberWank! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 28, 2017 Report Share Posted July 28, 2017 46 minutes ago, Ape said: When I'm away on business, away from my wife and in need of a little sexual gratification, I often have a wank in the shower. If I'm lucky, the shower head will be on a flexible hose, thus allowing me to enjoy a tantalising stream of warm water on my cock and balls. Often, the shower heads have adjustable spray patterns available, allowing the most pleasurable one to be determined through experimentation. Lately I've been extremely disappointed by a string of hotels with fixed shower heads that offer none of the aforementioned delights, and that's no fucking fun at all. Cunts. Any bloke that denies any knowledge of this pleasure is a fucking liar. Fuck off. I don't think I could engage in such pleasures, Ape. Even as I read your nom, images of Frank, Punkape and Snowflake warp speeded into my mind, using the shower heads for repulsive and deviant anal purposes. I doubt I'll sleep tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted July 28, 2017 Report Share Posted July 28, 2017 Fuck, it's 'loser night' again on The Corner. I'm off guard some new holes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mingeeta Posted July 29, 2017 Report Share Posted July 29, 2017 6 hours ago, Ape said: When I'm away on business, away from my wife and in need of a little sexual gratification, I often have a wank in the shower. If I'm lucky, the shower head will be on a flexible hose, thus allowing me to enjoy a tantalising stream of warm water on my cock and balls. Often, the shower heads have adjustable spray patterns available, allowing the most pleasurable one to be determined through experimentation. Lately I've been extremely disappointed by a string of hotels with fixed shower heads that offer none of the aforementioned delights, and that's no fucking fun at all. Cunts. Any bloke that denies any knowledge of this pleasure is a fucking liar. Fuck off. Why not just hire a Nigerian rent boy. It works for Punkers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted July 29, 2017 Report Share Posted July 29, 2017 1 hour ago, Mingeeta said: Why not just hire a Nigerian rent boy. It works for Punkers. Punker's never pays his rent boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted July 29, 2017 Report Share Posted July 29, 2017 8 hours ago, Ape said: When I'm away on business, away from my wife and in need of a little sexual gratification, I often have a wank in the shower. If I'm lucky, the shower head will be on a flexible hose, thus allowing me to enjoy a tantalising stream of warm water on my cock and balls. Often, the shower heads have adjustable spray patterns available, allowing the most pleasurable one to be determined through experimentation. Lately I've been extremely disappointed by a string of hotels with fixed shower heads that offer none of the aforementioned delights, and that's no fucking fun at all. Cunts. Any bloke that denies any knowledge of this pleasure is a fucking liar. Fuck off. Shocked at this non Ape. It's like reading about a wank your dad had, very uncomfortable to be honest, I just can't put the RC model enthusiast and this nom together. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted July 29, 2017 Report Share Posted July 29, 2017 Call a prozzy you miserable self abusing cunt Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted July 29, 2017 Report Share Posted July 29, 2017 2 hours ago, Panzerknacker said: Call a prozzy you miserable self abusing cunt Panzerknacker Isn't that insulting ordinary decent self abusing cunts .. remember that not all of them have pretend fleets of luxury cars Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted July 29, 2017 Report Share Posted July 29, 2017 True, pen baby...easier and cheaper to stay the fuck away from the mini bar. .or any form of social media...I wonder what else the spacker smeared all over the net lastnight. .or the screen of his device. ..he should design a little wiper to attach to his tablet to clean the man goo off it Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted July 29, 2017 Report Share Posted July 29, 2017 18 minutes ago, Panzerknacker said: True, pen baby...easier and cheaper to stay the fuck away from the mini bar. .or any form of social media...I wonder what else the spacker smeared all over the net lastnight. .or the screen of his device. ..he should design a little wiper to attach to his tablet to clean the man goo off it Panzerknacker He smeared his fake luxury car fleet all over the net Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted July 29, 2017 Report Share Posted July 29, 2017 Jesus, the thought of you hunched over in some travelodge shower after a hard day's graft selling double glazing, weedy shoulder blades projecting out of your translucent skin, tugging your rancid pecker is too much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted July 29, 2017 Report Share Posted July 29, 2017 13 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: Jesus, the thought of you hunched over in some travelodge shower after a hard day's graft selling double glazing, weedy shoulder blades projecting out of your translucent skin, tugging your rancid pecker is too much. Let's not get into what goes on with the toilet brush handle whilst away on business, it's all a bit Alan Partridge if you ask me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted July 29, 2017 Report Share Posted July 29, 2017 53 minutes ago, The Lady Penelope said: Isn't that insulting ordinary decent self abusing cunts .. remember that not all of them have pretend fleets of luxury cars Pen you weird little tranny, I bet you enjoy the shower curtain sticking to you whist you knock one out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted July 29, 2017 Report Share Posted July 29, 2017 Just now, Eddie said: Pen you weird little tranny, I bet you enjoy the shower curtain sticking to you whist you knock one out. Knock what out? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted July 29, 2017 Report Share Posted July 29, 2017 19 minutes ago, The Lady Penelope said: Knock what out? You're more Norman Bates... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted July 29, 2017 Report Share Posted July 29, 2017 20 hours ago, ratcum said: Fuck, it's 'loser night' again on The Corner. I'm off guard some new holes I found this and it reminded me of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted July 29, 2017 Report Share Posted July 29, 2017 Fixed shower heads eh? Judge Jewdy stalks these pixelated corridors yet. This is a trap isn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted July 30, 2017 Report Share Posted July 30, 2017 To Whom it May Concern As a successful RC helicopter enthusiast and salesman, I rely on Travelodge's excellent geographical network throughout the UK and often stay in your hotels. When I'm on business, I frequently wank in your showers. I must however express my disappointment at your recent installment of such apparatus, which no longer seem to have flexible heads. For this reason I am unable to adjust the spray-pattern, which otherwise would allow me to enjoy a tantalising stream of warm water on my cock and balls. Please might it therefore be possible to rectify this situation by installing shower units with flexible heads, otherwise I may be forced to choose a different chain of accommodation which fulfils this particular requirement. Yours sincerely Ape 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted July 30, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2017 14 minutes ago, Wolfie said: To Whom it May Concern As a successful RC helicopter enthusiast and salesman, I rely on Travelodge's excellent geographical network throughout the UK and often stay in your hotels. When I'm on business, I frequently wank in your showers. I must however express my disappointment at your recent installment of such apparatus, which no longer seem to have flexible heads. For this reason I am unable to adjust the spray-pattern, which otherwise would allow me to enjoy a tantalising stream of warm water on my cock and balls. Please might it therefore be possible to rectify this situation by installing shower units with flexible heads, otherwise I may be forced to choose a different chain of accommodation which fulfils this particular requirement. Yours sincerely Ape No cunt has yet denied having ever done this themselves I notice....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 30, 2017 Report Share Posted July 30, 2017 37 minutes ago, Ape said: No cunt has yet denied having ever done this themselves I notice....... I would like to categorically deny ever having sensuously cascaded warm water over your cock and balls using a hotel shower nozzle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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