Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 Fuck me, these bastards just need to die, already! If I hear or see one more of these coffin dodgers' relatives getting mention on the tele for living so long, I'll clad their house and strike the match myself! There is no accomplishment in living well past your usefulness. Can't work, can't contribute to society, absorb medical resources like locusts, and refuse to fucking die so their estate can be developed into another strip mall, in the name of commerce and progress. They gum their fucking food to death, and mistakenly believe they've swallowed when in reality, the brutalized pice of innocent food falls out of their slobbering fucking gob onto the table, where everybody contains their laughter and nausea so they don't offend. They keep loitering about, defying all techniques proven to work in Dignitas, tearing through the accumulated wealth that could be put to better use by the heirs with entrepreneurial spirit. They lay in what should be their shit and pissed soaked death beds, looking like skin stretched over bones, a corpse that still has a heartbeat. FUCK OFF already. You've been mourned for the last 80 years, cunts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 Hasn't MC just died? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 1 hour ago, The Lady Penelope said: Hasn't MC just died? He'll wish he was dead after the treatment he gets in the cooler; hour long lectures from rick and roops on leftist think tank symposiums followed by the relief on a buggering from punkape when he returns shortly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 My mother in law is 75 today so fuck knows how much longer I've got to wait for our inheritance that's going to be enough for us to pay the mortgage off and retire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hector Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 On 20/07/2017 at 7:57 PM, Wizardsleeve said: Fuck me, these bastards just need to die, already! If I hear or see one more of these coffin dodgers' relatives getting mention on the tele for living so long, I'll clad their house and strike the match myself! There is no accomplishment in living well past your usefulness. Can't work, can't contribute to society, absorb medical resources like locusts, and refuse to fucking die so their estate can be developed into another strip mall, in the name of commerce and progress. They gum their fucking food to death, and mistakenly believe they've swallowed when in reality, the brutalized pice of innocent food falls out of their slobbering fucking gob onto the table, where everybody contains their laughter and nausea so they don't offend. They keep loitering about, defying all techniques proven to work in Dignitas, tearing through the accumulated wealth that could be put to better use by the heirs with entrepreneurial spirit. They lay in what should be their shit and pissed soaked death beds, looking like skin stretched over bones, a corpse that still has a heartbeat. FUCK OFF already. You've been mourned for the last 80 years, cunts! I hope you live to be two hundred you rancid old cunt, if only to see you squirm around in your fetid, stinking filth. Nibbling away at your flaccid, maggoty nob wishing you had shagged at least one woman in your pathetic, infantile life. No doubt there will be no one to care for you or give a monkey's shit either way let alone mourn for you. You ridiculous fucking cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 16 minutes ago, Mac Spunk said: I hope you live to be two hundred you rancid old cunt, if only to see you squirm around in your fetid, stinking filth. Nibbling away at your flaccid, maggoty nob wishing you had shagged at least one woman in your pathetic, infantile life. No doubt there will be no one to care for you or give a monkey's shit either way let alone mourn for you. You ridiculous fucking cunt. Afternoon, hector. Alright? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hector Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 13 minutes ago, Bubba C said: Afternoon, hector. Alright? No, I'm fucking not. It was my 110 birthday yesterday and my main present was haemorrhoids from nowhere. Luckily, for the giver, I had never had them before, and in the event I felt the need to vent my ire on Wizzardsleeve. No doubt the cunt deserves it. How are you, Bubba? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 1 minute ago, Mac Spunk said: No, I'm fucking not. It was my 110 birthday yesterday and my main present was haemorrhoids from nowhere. Luckily, for the giver, I had never had them before, and in the event I felt the need to vent my ire on Wizzardsleeve. No doubt the cunt deserves it. How are you, Bubba? Very well, thanks for asking. Happy birthday for yesterday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 1 hour ago, Mac Spunk said: I hope you live to be two hundred you rancid old cunt, if only to see you squirm around in your fetid, stinking filth. Nibbling away at your flaccid, maggoty nob wishing you had shagged at least one woman in your pathetic, infantile life. No doubt there will be no one to care for you or give a monkey's shit either way let alone mourn for you. You ridiculous fucking cunt. A little verbose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 3 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: A little verbose. Bill, you're an academic of sorts. Against my best advice, my daughter is off to Edinburgh university in September to study History of fucking Art. Is there such a thing as a 'non-vocational' degree? She won't talk to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 3 minutes ago, Frank said: Bill, you're an academic of sorts. Against my best advice, my daughter is off to Edinburgh university in September to study History of fucking Art. Is there such a thing as a 'non-vocational' degree? She won't talk to me. Fucking hell, it seems like only yesterday that her school timetable was pinned to your somewhat-underwhelming fridge. I'll PM her details to Quincy. Once he's got her hooked on skag and on the game, the pre-Raphaelite movement will be the least of your worries. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 On 20/07/2017 at 7:57 PM, Wizardsleeve said: Fuck me, these bastards just need to die, already! If I hear or see one more of these coffin dodgers' relatives getting mention on the tele for living so long, I'll clad their house and strike the match myself! There is no accomplishment in living well past your usefulness. Can't work, can't contribute to society, absorb medical resources like locusts, and refuse to fucking die so their estate can be developed into another strip mall, in the name of commerce and progress. They gum their fucking food to death, and mistakenly believe they've swallowed when in reality, the brutalized pice of innocent food falls out of their slobbering fucking gob onto the table, where everybody contains their laughter and nausea so they don't offend. They keep loitering about, defying all techniques proven to work in Dignitas, tearing through the accumulated wealth that could be put to better use by the heirs with entrepreneurial spirit. They lay in what should be their shit and pissed soaked death beds, looking like skin stretched over bones, a corpse that still has a heartbeat. FUCK OFF already. You've been mourned for the last 80 years, cunts! Just awful. I'm mourning the death of comedy in your noms. Poor dullard. Just as well I'm back - I'm one of the best ones on here (Ed's been nicking that line in my absence) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 Just now, JackoTC said: Just awful. I'm mourning the death of comedy in your noms. Poor dullard. Just as well I'm back - I'm one of the best ones on here (Ed's been nicking that line in my absence) What did you study at uni, Jackie. Can you offer any sound fatherly advice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 Alas, nothing Francois. Left grammar school at sixteen and straight to work. Ma famille were outraged. I was keen on the sauce at an early age and needed the lolly for such. My lass went to St Andrews last year - doing Kraut, Dago and some Carpet speak - she's bright and tee total. I'm hoping she'll keep me in Stolly if I see it through the next few years..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 23 hours ago, Gong Farmer said: My mother in law is 75 today so fuck knows how much longer I've got to wait for our inheritance that's going to be enough for us to pay the mortgage off and retire. Cunts like your MIL like bath 'bombs'. Buy her a ball of potassium for Christmas. Who knows, it might even lodge in her salmon glove! VOTE RAT X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 29 minutes ago, JackoTC said: Alas, nothing Francois. Left grammar school at sixteen and straight to work. Ma famille were outraged. I was keen on the sauce at an early age and needed the lolly for such. My lass went to St Andrews last year - doing Kraut, Dago and some Carpet speak - she's bright and tee total. I'm hoping she'll keep me in Stolly if I see it through the next few years..... The other day you might recall that I asked how close you were to the Grenfell.. hoping we'd pick up from where we left off. Your response was poor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 5 minutes ago, Frank said: The other day you might recall that I asked you how close you were to the Grenfell.. hoping we'd pick up from where we left off. Your response was poor. If I go for political office I'll need a running mate Frankie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 38 minutes ago, Frank said: What did you study at uni, Jackie. Can you offer any sound fatherly advice? 33 minutes ago, JackoTC said: Alas, nothing Francois. Left grammar school at sixteen and straight to work. Ma famille were outraged. I was keen on the sauce at an early age and needed the lolly for such. My lass went to St Andrews last year - doing Kraut, Dago and some Carpet speak - she's bright and tee total. I'm hoping she'll keep me in Stolly if I see it through the next few years..... 26 minutes ago, Frank said: The other day you might recall that I asked how close you were to the Grenfell.. hoping we'd pick up from where we left off. Your response was poor. Truly fucking awful. Reminiscent of the last Eric and Ernie Christmas special. Tired, stale, self-congratulatory, back slapping bollocks. Indulge your vainglorious shite elsewhere. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 58 minutes ago, Frank said: The other day you might recall that I asked how close you were to the Grenfell.. hoping we'd pick up from where we left off. Your response was poor. I did respond and no reply was the answer. I am not myself. Forgive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 Just now, JackoTC said: I did respond and no reply was the answer. I am not myself. Forgive. Never mind. I'm really very fond of you Jackie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 28 minutes ago, Decimus said: Truly fucking awful. Reminiscent of the last Eric and Ernie Christmas special. Tired, stale, self-congratulatory, back slapping bollocks. Indulge your vainglorious shite elsewhere. The green eyed monster rears its ugly head again. You just don't have what we have I'm afraid. Console yourself with the thought that you are loved by most of the slack jawed plebs on here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 26 minutes ago, Frank said: Never mind. I'm really very fond of you Jackie. I know. Its why I'm back. Latterly, we were the best ones on here. Sure Bill and Ed had their moments, but I couldn't cope with the biff handed masses and their spastic ramblings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 20 minutes ago, JackoTC said: I know. Its why I'm back. Latterly, we were the best ones on here. Sure Bill and Ed had their moments, but I couldn't cope with the biff handed masses and their spastic ramblings. I bought a brown linen suit in Richard James this afternoon. Beautiful with the lattice Bottega Veneta unlined chukka. What you wearing this summer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 16 minutes ago, Frank said: I bought a brown linen suit in Richard James this afternoon. Beautiful with the lattice Bottega Veneta unlined chukka. What you wearing this summer? Brown? Bet you look like a coffin dodger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 1 minute ago, Bill Stickers said: Brown? Bet you look like a coffin dodger. I've just stood at the mirror for at least 20 minutes adjusting my pocket square. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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