Decimus Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 Unless you're a nonce of the highest order, or a teacher (neither of which are mutually exclusive) the summer holidays are an absolute fucking cuntfest. The pavements of a thousand inner city streets are congested with sweaty, tattooed single mothers pushing stolen prams four abreast, steamrolling along with the perpetual motion and mass of a small planetoid. Upon entering any shop you will be immediately assailed with the stench of infant shit and the sight of pendulous, mastitis riddled tits. If you manage to keep your lunch in your stomach after being exposed to this, you then run the risk of having your eardrums burst by "Sharon" screaming at (insert chav child name, i.e. Callum), to "PUT THAT FUCKING DOWN, YOU'VE ALREADY FUCKING HAD TWELVE CANS OF COKE". Should you make the intelligent decision to leave the country to get away from it all, you're immediately charged thrice the normal going rate on a holiday to some foreign shithole. Once there you'll spend a fortnight on the shitter whilst a greasy waiter attempts to pork your wife, beside a pool filled with piss and fat, gesticulating northerners. The only thing worse than the summer holidays is Ding. Fuck off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dr. Quim Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 5 minutes ago, Decimus said: Unless you're a nonce of the highest order, or a teacher (neither of which are mutually exclusively) the summer holidays are an absolute fucking cuntfest. The pavements of a thousand inner city streets are congested with sweaty, tattooed single mothers pushing stolen prams four abreast, steamrolling along with the perpetual motion and mass of a small planetoid. Upon entering any shop you will be immediately assailed with the stench of infant shit and the sight of pendulous, mastitis riddled tits. If you manage to keep your lunch in your stomach after being exposed to this, you then run the risk of having your eardrums burst by "Sharon" screaming at (insert chav child name, i.e. Callum), to "PUT THAT FUCKING DOWN, YOU'VE ALREADY FUCKING HAD TWELVE CANS OF COKE". Should you make the intelligent decision to leave the country to get away from it all, you're immediately charged thrice the normal going rate on a holiday to some foreign shithole. Once there you'll spend a fortnight on the shitter whilst a greasy waiter attempts to pork your wife, beside a pool filled with piss and fat, gesticulating northerners. The only thing worse than the summer holidays is Ding. Fuck off. Kids should be in school year round unless they're desperately ill and in need of hospital treatment or scrubbing chimneys. Horrible, sticky, loud little germ factories that know for a fact that its illegal for you to clout them and knowingly use it to their advantage at every opportunity. I hate the jobless little joyous fuckwits with a passion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 I love 'em,at least the city roads are quieter.Half the fat cunts cant drive their big fuck off 4x4's anyway so its 6 weeks of bliss for me.You really should move from Yarmouth if they bother you that much. The puppet man's a cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 Decs,have you been out in Norwich again?.....For fucks sake man you really do need some new trainers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted July 18, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 9 minutes ago, Neil said: I love 'em,at least the city roads are quieter.Half the fat cunts cant drive their big fuck off 4x4's anyway so its 6 weeks of bliss for me. I don't see this as a trade off. Unlike you, I'm not constantly prowling the roads of Norfolk looking for middle-aged, fat slappers to murder in the back of of a Bedford Rascal mini-van. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 A couple of snotty 8 year olds hung from streetlights with their heads on the garden gate may discourage them from playing outside your house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 23 minutes ago, Neil said: The gauntlets down Frank, not only is that white bucket better than your creme bin but the guys an infinitely better dancer than you ever were. Must do better, idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted July 18, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 41 minutes ago, Dr. Quim said: Kids should be in school year round unless they're desperately ill and in need of hospital treatment or scrubbing chimneys. Horrible, sticky, loud little germ factories that know for a fact that its illegal for you to clout them and knowingly use it to their advantage at every opportunity. I hate the jobless little joyous fuckwits with a passion. Do you want to suck my dick, Quim? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 41 minutes ago, Decimus said: Unless you're a nonce of the highest order, or a teacher (neither of which are mutually exclusively) the summer holidays are an absolute fucking cuntfest. The pavements of a thousand inner city streets are congested with sweaty, tattooed single mothers pushing stolen prams four abreast, steamrolling along with the perpetual motion and mass of a small planetoid. Upon entering any shop you will be immediately assailed with the stench of infant shit and the sight of pendulous, mastitis riddled tits. If you manage to keep your lunch in your stomach after being exposed to this, you then run the risk of having your eardrums burst by "Sharon" screaming at (insert chav child name, i.e. Callum), to "PUT THAT FUCKING DOWN, YOU'VE ALREADY FUCKING HAD TWELVE CANS OF COKE". Should you make the intelligent decision to leave the country to get away from it all, you're immediately charged thrice the normal going rate on a holiday to some foreign shithole. Once there you'll spend a fortnight on the shitter whilst a greasy waiter attempts to pork your wife, beside a pool filled with piss and fat, gesticulating northerners. The only thing worse than the summer holidays is Ding. Fuck off. Superb nom'. It seems that today's society exists solely for the entertainment and indulgence of the little cunts. 90% are spoilt to the point where, if they don't get 3 grand spent on them at Christmas it's tantamount to abuse, if someone buys them a book they will sneer at it. The fat tattooed chavs you mention, breed at a phenomenal rate in order to accrue as many as possible, which not only gives them barrow loads of government cash, but also prevents the job centres from making the vile slags work. The little bastards are usually bereft of discipline or respect for others, any member of the public who attempts to scold or complain about them will likely be labelled a nonce and will end up with the cider fuelled step-fathers and half a dozen tracksuited diamond geezers turning up on their doorstep and kicking fuck out of them, teachers cannot discipline them at school without accusations of abusive behaviour leading to dismissal and probably a kicking from the above. And especially during the holidays, the cunts run riot and do as they please, with their parents oblivious to their activities. All chavs and their cunt offspring should be rounded up, slaughtered and turned into dog food which can be donated to animal charities. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 Scoutmaster's such as Noakes and Stubby are always busier in the summer holidays.......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 13 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Superb nom'. Fucking excellent (dare I say unprecedented?) use of a contractive apostrophe there, Eric. Having said that, though please note in future to spell out "nomination" in full as only 3-year olds, cretins, and internet cats say "nom". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 Can't believe no-one's mentioned Cliff Richard yet. Bus wankers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 1 minute ago, Cuntybaws said: Can't believe no-one's mentioned Cliff Richard yet. Bus wankers! My slight temptation to do so turned swiftly into hope that nobody would, Bawsy, you bastard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 11 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Fucking excellent (dare I say unprecedented?) use of a contractive apostrophe there, Eric. Having said that, though please note in future to spell out "nomination" in full as only 3-year olds, cretins, and internet cats say "nom". Praise appreciated and chastisement noted for future reference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dr. Quim Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 1 hour ago, Decimus said: Do you want to suck my dick, Quim? Sorry, I'm not into living/consenting people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 2 hours ago, Decimus said: Unless you're a nonce of the highest order, or a teacher (neither of which are mutually exclusively) the summer holidays are an absolute fucking cuntfest. The pavements of a thousand inner city streets are congested with sweaty, tattooed single mothers pushing stolen prams four abreast, steamrolling along with the perpetual motion and mass of a small planetoid. Upon entering any shop you will be immediately assailed with the stench of infant shit and the sight of pendulous, mastitis riddled tits. If you manage to keep your lunch in your stomach after being exposed to this, you then run the risk of having your eardrums burst by "Sharon" screaming at (insert chav child name, i.e. Callum), to "PUT THAT FUCKING DOWN, YOU'VE ALREADY FUCKING HAD TWELVE CANS OF COKE". Should you make the intelligent decision to leave the country to get away from it all, you're immediately charged thrice the normal going rate on a holiday to some foreign shithole. Once there you'll spend a fortnight on the shitter whilst a greasy waiter attempts to pork your wife, beside a pool filled with piss and fat, gesticulating northerners. The only thing worse than the summer holidays is Ding. Fuck off. You're forgetting the Cessidas and the rest of he middle class mummies, clogging up the pavements 3 abreast, clogging up the cafés and restaurants with their huge 'fuck off' buggies, chatting about how much their hubbies are pulling in, whilst their "Oscars" and "Petunias" steam around the place knocking tables and chairs over and bumping into waiters and being a fucking nuisance, but mummy isn't yelling at them to stop because they have ADHD or some other affliction. I know, because one little rat knocked my latte into my lap last year and the shit mother didn't apologise because it was "just an accident". Ramming the pepper pot up her hooter wouldn't have been. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 I have to agree with Deco on this; lesbian urine does not have preservative properties. Witness the story of the little boy who stuck his finger in a dike. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 2 hours ago, Decimus said: Unless you're a nonce of the highest order, or a teacher (neither of which are mutually exclusively) the summer holidays are an absolute fucking cuntfest. The pavements of a thousand inner city streets are congested with sweaty, tattooed single mothers pushing stolen prams four abreast, steamrolling along with the perpetual motion and mass of a small planetoid. Upon entering any shop you will be immediately assailed with the stench of infant shit and the sight of pendulous, mastitis riddled tits. If you manage to keep your lunch in your stomach after being exposed to this, you then run the risk of having your eardrums burst by "Sharon" screaming at (insert chav child name, i.e. Callum), to "PUT THAT FUCKING DOWN, YOU'VE ALREADY FUCKING HAD TWELVE CANS OF COKE". Should you make the intelligent decision to leave the country to get away from it all, you're immediately charged thrice the normal going rate on a holiday to some foreign shithole. Once there you'll spend a fortnight on the shitter whilst a greasy waiter attempts to pork your wife, beside a pool filled with piss and fat, gesticulating northerners. The only thing worse than the summer holidays is Ding. Fuck off. I was also considering applying for a job with Thomas Cook. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 3 hours ago, Decimus said: Unless you're a nonce of the highest order, or a teacher (neither of which are mutually exclusively) the summer holidays are an absolute fucking cuntfest. The pavements of a thousand inner city streets are congested with sweaty, tattooed single mothers pushing stolen prams four abreast, steamrolling along with the perpetual motion and mass of a small planetoid. Upon entering any shop you will be immediately assailed with the stench of infant shit and the sight of pendulous, mastitis riddled tits. If you manage to keep your lunch in your stomach after being exposed to this, you then run the risk of having your eardrums burst by "Sharon" screaming at (insert chav child name, i.e. Callum), to "PUT THAT FUCKING DOWN, YOU'VE ALREADY FUCKING HAD TWELVE CANS OF COKE". Should you make the intelligent decision to leave the country to get away from it all, you're immediately charged thrice the normal going rate on a holiday to some foreign shithole. Once there you'll spend a fortnight on the shitter whilst a greasy waiter attempts to pork your wife, beside a pool filled with piss and fat, gesticulating northerners. The only thing worse than the summer holidays is Ding. Fuck off. Norwich sounds like a beautiful place decs, very Gloucester like. Can we line it up for the Cunts Corner Xmas piss up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 2 hours ago, Punkape said: Scoutmaster's such as Noakes and Stubby are always busier in the summer holidays.......... And why would you suggest that Alf and myself are scout masters? And why are these people, as you point out, busy during the summer months? I don't understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 1 hour ago, Stubby Pecker said: And why would you suggest that Alf and myself are scout masters? And why are these people, as you point out, busy during the summer months? I don't understand. You don't understand..... That's because you're a cretin and a vassal. lol. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 4 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: All chavs and their cunt offspring should be rounded up, slaughtered and turned into dog food which can be donated to animal charities. Cruelty to animals is unnecessary Eric. Using them as fuel in power stations makes them give something back to the community. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 2 minutes ago, Snatch said: Cruelty to animals is unnecessary Eric. Using them as fuel in power stations makes them give something back to the community. I saw the dog food idea as a way of the shelters coping with the sudden influx of homeless Staffordshire Bull Terriers which would be a natural consequence of culling chavs. The chavs, would of course be minced so the dogs wouldn't be distressed by recognising the tattoos of their former owners. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said: I saw the dog food idea as a way of the shelters coping with the sudden influx of homeless Staffordshire Bull Terriers which would be a natural consequence of culling chavs. The chavs, would of course be minced so the dogs wouldn't be distressed by recognising the tattoos of their former owners. I think that this is a trap Eric .. he and Ratty have got you cornered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 1 minute ago, The Lady Penelope said: I think that this is a trap Eric .. he and Ratty have got you cornered. A rat trap Pen? A big nipper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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