(Usually fat) cunts who spit while they talk

[Guest Bill Stickers]

I went out last night on a work function to your typical shit East London bar. The kind of place where everyone just wants to talk, but the owner thinks he's running Pacha in Ibiza, so the music nobody is listening to is turned up far too loud (a nomination for another time perhaps).

I drew the short straw, ended up sitting next to an unbelievably fat, sweaty, pseudo-cockney tusker cunt from another company we work with. Rancid BO and thick, white sweat quite literally dripping off his neck flabs, he had to lean right next to my ear/face when he spoke, in order to be heard.

What followed was about 30 seconds of what felt like a full-force shower head being blasted into my face, before I got up and left.

I have deduced that fat people permenantly have their mouth resting slightly downwards in a slack fashion, as they can't hold up the weight of the extra chinnage they possess. This lack of oral tension lets spittle fly like soapy water in a fucking car wash.

So I open this up to the corner. As you are almost without exception a bunch of obese, slack jawed cretins who talk shit all the time, how do you deal with this when it happens? I was thinking maybe you could eat lots of smart price crackers beforehand to dry out your AIDs-ulcerated gullets?

[camberwell gypsy]

I don't talk to people. So I don't get that. 

[Guest DingTheRioja]

32 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

I went out last night on a work function to your typical shit East London bar. The kind of place where everyone just wants to talk, but the owner thinks he's running Pacha in Ibiza, so the music nobody is listening to is turned up far too loud (a nomination for another time perhaps).

I drew the short straw, ended up sitting next to an unbelievably fat, sweaty, pseudo-cockney tusker cunt from another company we work with. Rancid BO and thick, white sweat quite literally dripping off his neck flabs, he had to lean right next to my ear/face when he spoke, in order to be heard.

What followed was about 30 seconds of what felt like a full-force shower head being blasted into my face, before I got up and left.

I have deduced that fat people permenantly have their mouth resting slightly downwards in a slack fashion, as they can't hold up the weight of the extra chinnage they possess. This lack of oral tension lets spittle fly like soapy water in a fucking car wash.

So I open this up to the corner. As you are almost without exception a bunch of obese, slack jawed cretins who talk shit all the time, how do you deal with this when it happens? I was thinking maybe you could eat lots of smart price crackers beforehand to dry out your AIDs-ulcerated gullets?

You were sat next to the mirror Bill.

[ratcum]

Funny isn't, that spitting while you talk is unacceptable but talking while you spit is seen as a skill

[Guest Bill Stickers]

37 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said:

You were sat next to the mirror Bill.

Great banter ding. What else have you got up your sleeve? A knock knock joke? Maybe even a spoonerism? 

[Guest Ollyboro]

You sure that people don't just spit at you most of the time, whether they're talking to you or not?

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

1 hour ago, Bill Stickers said:

I went out last night on a work function to your typical shit East London bar. The kind of place where everyone just wants to talk, but the owner thinks he's running Pacha in Ibiza, so the music nobody is listening to is turned up far too loud (a nomination for another time perhaps).

I drew the short straw, ended up sitting next to an unbelievably fat, sweaty, pseudo-cockney tusker cunt from another company we work with. Rancid BO and thick, white sweat quite literally dripping off his neck flabs, he had to lean right next to my ear/face when he spoke, in order to be heard.

What followed was about 30 seconds of what felt like a full-force shower head being blasted into my face, before I got up and left.

I have deduced that fat people permenantly have their mouth resting slightly downwards in a slack fashion, as they can't hold up the weight of the extra chinnage they possess. This lack of oral tension lets spittle fly like soapy water in a fucking car wash.

So I open this up to the corner. As you are almost without exception a bunch of obese, slack jawed cretins who talk shit all the time, how do you deal with this when it happens? I was thinking maybe you could eat lots of smart price crackers beforehand to dry out your AIDs-ulcerated gullets?

That is a rather nasty, cuntish trait.  What's worse, is when the cunts talk behind your back, and you have to use a spatula to scrape the disgusting food particles that dislodge from their rotting  teeth and cling to your clothing.  

[Stubby Pecker]

2 hours ago, Bill Stickers said:

I went out last night on a work function to your typical shit East London bar. The kind of place where everyone just wants to talk, but the owner thinks he's running Pacha in Ibiza, so the music nobody is listening to is turned up far too loud (a nomination for another time perhaps).

I drew the short straw, ended up sitting next to an unbelievably fat, sweaty, pseudo-cockney tusker cunt from another company we work with. Rancid BO and thick, white sweat quite literally dripping off his neck flabs, he had to lean right next to my ear/face when he spoke, in order to be heard.

What followed was about 30 seconds of what felt like a full-force shower head being blasted into my face, before I got up and left.

I have deduced that fat people permenantly have their mouth resting slightly downwards in a slack fashion, as they can't hold up the weight of the extra chinnage they possess. This lack of oral tension lets spittle fly like soapy water in a fucking car wash.

So I open this up to the corner. As you are almost without exception a bunch of obese, slack jawed cretins who talk shit all the time, how do you deal with this when it happens? I was thinking maybe you could eat lots of smart price crackers beforehand to dry out your AIDs-ulcerated gullets?

Do you get this angry when your boyfriend Punkape spits out the pathetic, tea spoon full sized dribble of spunk you've just deposited on his tongue?

[Guest DingTheRioja]

3 hours ago, Bill Stickers said:

Great banter ding. What else have you got up your sleeve? A knock knock joke? Maybe even a spoonerism? 

Banter?

No, banter needs someone who has more brain cells than syllables, something you lack, Bill.

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

I ended up stuck next to a fat cunt yesterday, who immediately pulled out an iPad and started watching shit. Firstly he moved about way too much. Head rocking about all over the place. Secondly his breathing was so fucking loud. Mouth breathing, through thick mucous by the sounds of it. Is this what happens when you get fat?

[Eric Cuntman]

5 hours ago, Bill Stickers said:

I went out last night on a work function to your typical shit East London bar. The kind of place where everyone just wants to talk, but the owner thinks he's running Pacha in Ibiza, so the music nobody is listening to is turned up far too loud (a nomination for another time perhaps).

I drew the short straw, ended up sitting next to an unbelievably fat, sweaty, pseudo-cockney tusker cunt from another company we work with. Rancid BO and thick, white sweat quite literally dripping off his neck flabs, he had to lean right next to my ear/face when he spoke, in order to be heard.

What followed was about 30 seconds of what felt like a full-force shower head being blasted into my face, before I got up and left.

I have deduced that fat people permenantly have their mouth resting slightly downwards in a slack fashion, as they can't hold up the weight of the extra chinnage they possess. This lack of oral tension lets spittle fly like soapy water in a fucking car wash.

So I open this up to the corner. As you are almost without exception a bunch of obese, slack jawed cretins who talk shit all the time, how do you deal with this when it happens? I was thinking maybe you could eat lots of smart price crackers beforehand to dry out your AIDs-ulcerated gullets?

Try raising your standards next time you visit a gay bar. Try pulling the man you want, not the one you think is attainable. You can do it, believe in yourself.

[Guest Ollyboro]

I think we can all agree that Bill's big comeback has gone down about as well as a turd in a jacuzzi. It's been worse than watching Douglas Bader embarrassing himself in an arse kicking/ toenail painting contest. I say worse, because at least Doug the Slug had something to offer in the first place.

Edited July 1, 2017 by Ollyboro
Unfair criticism

[Guest Snatch]

4 hours ago, Ollyboro said:

I think we can all agree that Bill's big comeback has gone down about as well as a turd in a jacuzzi. It's been worse than watching Douglas Bader embarrassing himself in an arse kicking/ toenail painting contest. I say worse, because at least Doug the Slug had something to offer in the first place.

Did we expect anything else? 

No, didn't think so.

[Guest nobgobbler]

11 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Do you get this angry when your boyfriend Punkape spits out the pathetic, tea spoon full sized dribble of spunk you've just deposited on his tongue?

That's cruel and unfair. Apologise to punkape immediately.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

17 minutes ago, nobgobbler said:

That's cruel and unfair. Apologise to punkape immediately.

So you think that he should say "Sowee".

[Guest Lady Penelope]

2 hours ago, Snatch said:

Did we expect anything else? 

No, didn't think so.

He's sort of gone down in the same way as the slugs in the garden at the British Salt factory at Sandbach.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

9 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Try raising your standards next time you visit a gay bar. Try pulling the man you want, not the one you think is attainable. You can do it, believe in yourself.

If he had gone to Wilmslow he might have hit on a rich Range Rover owning Golfer.

[Eric Cuntman]

2 minutes ago, The Lady Penelope said:

If he had gone to Wilmslow he might have hit on a rich Range Rover owning Golfer.

I can't imagine him converting to Catholicism. Imagine the first confession.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I can't imagine him converting to Catholicism. Imagine the first confession.

Bwess you for this comment  Ewick.

[Guest nobgobbler]

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I can't imagine him converting to Catholicism. Imagine the first confession.

Forgive me Father for I have shit myself.

[Witheredscrote]

20 hours ago, Bill Stickers said:

I went out last night on a work function to your typical shit East London bar. The kind of place where everyone just wants to talk, but the owner thinks he's running Pacha in Ibiza, so the music nobody is listening to is turned up far too loud (a nomination for another time perhaps).

I drew the short straw, ended up sitting next to an unbelievably fat, sweaty, pseudo-cockney tusker cunt from another company we work with. Rancid BO and thick, white sweat quite literally dripping off his neck flabs, he had to lean right next to my ear/face when he spoke, in order to be heard.

What followed was about 30 seconds of what felt like a full-force shower head being blasted into my face, before I got up and left.

I have deduced that fat people permenantly have their mouth resting slightly downwards in a slack fashion, as they can't hold up the weight of the extra chinnage they possess. This lack of oral tension lets spittle fly like soapy water in a fucking car wash.

So I open this up to the corner. As you are almost without exception a bunch of obese, slack jawed cretins who talk shit all the time, how do you deal with this when it happens? I was thinking maybe you could eat lots of smart price crackers beforehand to dry out your AIDs-ulcerated gullets?

I have read, and re-read this several times, before giving it fair appraisal. In the past, your noms made me laugh so much I got a headache. This offering has certainly solved that problem for me. What drivel, and a 'like' from TSD is hardly a great endorsement is it. Cunt.

[Roadkill]

13 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

I have read, and re-read this several times, before giving it fair appraisal. In the past, your noms made me laugh so much I got a headache. This offering has certainly solved that problem for me. What drivel, and a 'like' from TSD is hardly a great endorsement is it. Cunt.

Give him time, Withers. I imagine he's got the shakes like Guy Fawkes after such a long time in the cooler. Roops's special rectally administered electro shock therapy can be quite harrowing to the central nervous system.

[Guest Mingeeta]

37 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

I have read, and re-read this several times, before giving it fair appraisal. In the past, your noms made me laugh so much I got a headache. This offering has certainly solved that problem for me. What drivel, and a 'like' from TSD is hardly a great endorsement is it. Cunt.

I think you're being a bit too hard on him to be honest.

Anyone who can look in a mirror and draw pretty coloured patterns on his head in felt tip pens deserves a bit of credit.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

1 hour ago, Witheredscrote said:

I have read, and re-read this several times, before giving it fair appraisal. In the past, your noms made me laugh so much I got a headache. This offering has certainly solved that problem for me. What drivel, and a 'like' from TSD is hardly a great endorsement is it. Cunt.

Withers, the headache was from all the cheap keyboard cleaning aerosol you used to huff by the 12-pack from your local grotty carre-four.  

It's only since you've got into the Parisian gay scene and migrated to the date rape class of drugs that your migraines have subsided. 

We've never shared the same sense of humour on account of you being a watery drip of a man. You weren't laughing at me, merely your perverse hallucinations.

I'm as embarrassed by the like from Tata as you are. I want no association with the cunt. It's times like these I deny any knowledge of the man. I've PM'd him asking if he'll withdraw it.

I'd rather huff the gas with you in your shitty dilapited run down gite, with goose shit lining the walls (and no doubt a dog chained to a post as the Europeans often do), than ever, ever be in league with Weeny Dan. 

 

[Guest Mingeeta]

24 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

Withers, the headache was from all the cheap keyboard cleaning aerosol you used to huff by the 12-pack from your local grotty carre-four.  

It's only since you've got into the Parisian gay scene and migrated to the date rape class of drugs that your migraines have subsided. 

We've never shared the same sense of humour on account of you being a watery drip of a man. You weren't laughing at me, merely your perverse hallucinations.

I'm as embarrassed by the like from Tata as you are. I want no association with the cunt. It's times like these I deny any knowledge of the man. I've PM'd him asking if he'll withdraw it.

I'd rather huff the gas with you in your shitty dilapited run down gite, with goose shit lining the walls (and no doubt a dog chained to a post as the Europeans often do), than ever, ever be in league with Weeny Dan. 

 

Speak English..... And with some sense.... Please. If you are capable.