applescruff14 Posted June 12, 2017 Report Share Posted June 12, 2017 3 hours ago, The Lady Penelope said: What about the woman in you your life .. is she still there? No chance of anything like that, all hope faded long ago. What a cunt 2017 has been since March. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted June 12, 2017 Report Share Posted June 12, 2017 2 minutes ago, applescruff14 said: Might as well be. New job for you mate...you train to be an astronaut go into space as a research subject to study the effects of zero gravity while buggering a fit lady astro type. Get to the paperwork, scruffo!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted June 12, 2017 Report Share Posted June 12, 2017 27 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: New job for you mate...you train to be an astronaut go into space as a research subject to study the effects of zero gravity while buggering a fit lady astro type. Get to the paperwork, scruffo!! I imagine that shagging in zero gravity would be quite messy and somewhat dangerous. One over zealous thrust and - whoops! - you've just bumped into the emergency decoupling mechanism. You wouldn't even have time to finish. Plus most female astronauts are ugly as fuck. They don't get into space on their looks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted June 12, 2017 Report Share Posted June 12, 2017 28 minutes ago, Roadkill said: I imagine that shagging in zero gravity would be quite messy and somewhat dangerous. One over zealous thrust and - whoops! - you've just bumped into the emergency decoupling mechanism. You wouldn't even have time to finish. Plus most female astronauts are ugly as fuck. They don't get into space on their looks. I tried this by throwing a 'push me pull you' off a cliff Mr. Kill. It was certainly fucked when it reached the bottom but then again, so was Norman Scott Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 12, 2017 Report Share Posted June 12, 2017 4 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said: Gibby old bean, you're a ray of sun on a cloudy day, as always. I bet that when he speaks, he sounds just like 'Marvin the paranoid android' from The Hitch-hikers Guide To The Galaxy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted June 12, 2017 Report Share Posted June 12, 2017 3 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: I bet that when he speaks, he sounds just like 'Marvin the paranoid android' from The Hitch-hikers Guide To The Galaxy. Or Neil from The Young Ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted June 12, 2017 Report Share Posted June 12, 2017 5 hours ago, applescruff14 said: No chance of anything like that, all hope faded long ago. What a cunt 2017 has been since March. Get yourself one of those "positivity" tapes and play it to yourself for a few days and then go and give her your best effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted June 12, 2017 Report Share Posted June 12, 2017 5 minutes ago, The Lady Penelope said: Get yourself one of those "positivity" tapes and play it to yourself for a few days and then go and give her your best effort. I've just the thing for him... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 12, 2017 Report Share Posted June 12, 2017 1 hour ago, 'eavensabove said: Or Neil from The Young Ones. Oh wow! That was just like a negative reality inversion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 12, 2017 Report Share Posted June 12, 2017 1 hour ago, The Lady Penelope said: Get yourself one of those "positivity" tapes and play it to yourself for a few days and then go and give her your best effort. You're being very nurturing and motherly today Pen. Are you planning a coup? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted June 12, 2017 Report Share Posted June 12, 2017 16 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: You're being very nurturing and motherly today Pen. Are you planning a coup? yes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted June 12, 2017 Report Share Posted June 12, 2017 1 hour ago, The Lady Penelope said: Get yourself one of those "positivity" tapes and play it to yourself for a few days and then go and give her your best effort. You really think that will work? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted June 12, 2017 Report Share Posted June 12, 2017 Just now, Snatch said: You really think that will work? No .. Its just that I get commission when they sell them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted June 13, 2017 Report Share Posted June 13, 2017 10 hours ago, Roadkill said: I imagine that shagging in zero gravity would be quite messy and somewhat dangerous. One over zealous thrust and - whoops! - you've just bumped into the emergency decoupling mechanism. You wouldn't even have time to finish. Plus most female astronauts are ugly as fuck. They don't get into space on their looks. Do you remember Scruffo's last shag??? I doubt he'd be too picky right now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted June 15, 2017 Report Share Posted June 15, 2017 On 12/06/2017 at 8:21 PM, 'eavensabove said: I've just the thing for him... 2017 was actually the best I've ever started a year as they all start shit for me, this is the worst I've had it since 2012 & 2013 but at least those two times I turned it round but unlikely to happen this time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted June 15, 2017 Report Share Posted June 15, 2017 On 10/06/2017 at 5:22 PM, Ollyboro said: Comedy's all about timing, Apple. By the way, how's your work and love life going? Oh, and by the fucking way again, The Jock She I'm manacled to has insisted we watch the fucking football.......just as we're battering the kangaroo rapists on another channel. I wouldn't mind but she's been on the phone to her Mam since kick off. Ones none existent and the other one isn't far behind. We let all that hard work go in the cricket and threw it all away in one bad innings. It hasn't been a good week for English sport with the cricket and dropping points in Scotland and unable to get at least a draw against a French side a man down for practically the whole of the second half. Wrong manager. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted June 15, 2017 Report Share Posted June 15, 2017 10 minutes ago, applescruff14 said: Ones none existent and the other one isn't far behind. We let all that hard work go in the cricket and threw it all away in one bad innings. It hasn't been a good week for English sport with the cricket and dropping points in Scotland and unable to get at least a draw against a French side a man down for practically the whole of the second half. Wrong manager. oh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick_B Posted June 15, 2017 Report Share Posted June 15, 2017 1 hour ago, applescruff14 said: Ones none existent and the other one isn't far behind. We let all that hard work go in the cricket and threw it all away in one bad innings. It hasn't been a good week for English sport with the cricket and dropping points in Scotland and unable to get at least a draw against a French side a man down for practically the whole of the second half. Wrong manager. We threw cricket away as our second national sport when we allowed it to go behind Sky's paywall. For many people now it's irrelevant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Cunt Posted June 15, 2017 Report Share Posted June 15, 2017 On 12/06/2017 at 3:43 PM, Roadkill said: I imagine that shagging in zero gravity would be quite messy and somewhat dangerous. One over zealous thrust and - whoops! - you've just bumped into the emergency decoupling mechanism. You wouldn't even have time to finish. Plus most female astronauts are ugly as fuck. They don't get into space on their looks. Jane Fonda did, in Barbarella. In fact, it coloured my whole life. Now I can only shag women in space suits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Cunt Posted June 15, 2017 Report Share Posted June 15, 2017 On 12/06/2017 at 8:14 PM, The Lady Penelope said: Get yourself one of those "positivity" tapes and play it to yourself for a few days and then go and give her your best effort. Or get one of those 'positivity' wires attached to a suitable electrical outlet, hold a suitably connected 'negativity' wire in the other hand, and everyone will be happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted June 17, 2017 Report Share Posted June 17, 2017 On 10/06/2017 at 5:11 PM, applescruff14 said: Scotland 2-0 England I almost called both correct. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted June 17, 2017 Report Share Posted June 17, 2017 6 hours ago, Monumental cunt said: I almost called both correct. Stop getting yourself banned you cunt ..you're the funniest fucker on here..and no fuckin bag of cans tonight. .run instead Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted June 18, 2017 Report Share Posted June 18, 2017 On 17/06/2017 at 3:12 AM, Monumental cunt said: I almost called both correct. Must win game in Malta coming up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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