Guest Piston Posted May 11, 2017 Report Share Posted May 11, 2017 4 hours ago, Alfie Noakes said: Some of the UK's ambulance fleet has had some very costly upgrades recently. This has been done to cope with a growing number of obese patients. Fire brigades are being trained in extracting these gargantuan fat bastard patients, either for hospital or in a fire. Does the human race need these fatties to survive or should they just be told, "stop fucking eating and move around more you fat cunt!" and left to fend for themselves? Fucking liability that's what they are. Thank god they are! If one of the cunts was left in the building and reached flashpoint, imagine the devastation caused by the resultant fireball. They should be tattooed with a hazard warning and forced to carry fire suppressant foam at all times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 11, 2017 Report Share Posted May 11, 2017 27 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Day off today so I watched Kyle Show (fuck off ok?). There was a large 40 year old woman who was pregnant with her 11th sprog (or was it her 12th?) Kyle asked her how many father's? "Four" was the proud reply. She was on there because the fucking current idiot was doing a lie detector for cheating. "If he's lying I'll leave 'im". No doubt to find another idiot to pump out another benefits bounty. If you ever have the misfortune of having to treat the cunt in your professional capacity, don't forget how easy it is to get hydrogen cyanide mixed up with almost any other medication. Oops. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted May 11, 2017 Report Share Posted May 11, 2017 If you can't get out the door on your own, then you need to stay inside and starve until you fit through, hopefully you'll be so weak by then to manage that you'll die. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 11, 2017 Report Share Posted May 11, 2017 1 hour ago, Piston said: Thank god they are! If one of the cunts was left in the building and reached flashpoint, imagine the devastation caused by the resultant fireball. They should be tattooed with a hazard warning and forced to carry fire suppressant foam at all times. I see your avatar is a tribute to the legendary Bayldon. Loved Catweazel when I were a nipper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 11, 2017 Report Share Posted May 11, 2017 5 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I see your avatar is a tribute to the legendary Bayldon. Loved Catweazel when I were a nipper. "Oh no Aunt Sally! Here comes the Crowman!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted May 11, 2017 Report Share Posted May 11, 2017 14 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I see your avatar is a tribute to the legendary Bayldon. Loved Catweazel when I were a nipper. He was always on about the 'tellingbone' as I recall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted May 11, 2017 Report Share Posted May 11, 2017 9 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: "Oh no Aunt Sally! Here comes the Crowman!" No that was worzel gummidge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 11, 2017 Report Share Posted May 11, 2017 29 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: "Oh no Aunt Sally! Here comes the Crowman!" Utter shite that was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 11, 2017 Report Share Posted May 11, 2017 20 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: No that was worzel gummidge. I think he was in it as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 11, 2017 Report Share Posted May 11, 2017 23 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: No that was worzel gummidge. Same bloke who played catweazel played the Crowman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 11, 2017 Report Share Posted May 11, 2017 5 hours ago, Alfie Noakes said: Some of the UK's ambulance fleet has had some very costly upgrades recently. This has been done to cope with a growing number of obese patients. Fire brigades are being trained in extracting these gargantuan fat bastard patients, either for hospital or in a fire. Does the human race need these fatties to survive or should they just be told, "stop fucking eating and move around more you fat cunt!" and left to fend for themselves? Fucking liability that's what they are. Once cunts attain a certain level of blobby-ness they should be burnt in power stations or frozen and fed through a wood chipper at sea. I'd vote for any politician who had this in there manifesto Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted May 11, 2017 Report Share Posted May 11, 2017 40 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: Once cunts attain a certain level of blobby-ness they should be burnt in power stations or frozen and fed through a wood chipper at sea. I'd vote for any politician who had this in there manifesto You could use the woodchipper at sea as a chum machine to attract sharks who could then be used to chase the fat cunts as a new form of sport. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 11, 2017 Report Share Posted May 11, 2017 30 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said: You could use the woodchipper at sea as a chum machine to attract sharks who could then be used to chase the fat cunts as a new form of sport. Good thinking noakesy. I'm a commited conservationist and the main reason for my fatty shredding plan is the huge boost to marine biodiversity, although I'd avoid north sea cod for a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted May 12, 2017 Report Share Posted May 12, 2017 10 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: Same bloke who played catweazel played the Crowman. I meant it was worzel doing unspeakable things with aunt sally over a "naaars cuppa tea an a slaaaars a cake". I don't remember the crowman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted May 12, 2017 Report Share Posted May 12, 2017 5 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: I meant it was worzel doing unspeakable things with aunt sally over a "naaars cuppa tea an a slaaaars a cake". I don't remember the crowman. The crowman made the scarecrows and Worzel asked him to make him a handsome head so he could marry Aunt Sally. That is all I remember as I was a year or two too old for the programme and a younger sibling used to watch it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted May 12, 2017 Report Share Posted May 12, 2017 11 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said: The crowman made the scarecrows and Worzel asked him to make him a handsome head so he could marry Aunt Sally. That is all I remember as I was a year or two too old for the programme and a younger sibling used to watch it. Admit it Alf, you watched it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted May 12, 2017 Report Share Posted May 12, 2017 Rubbish, there have always been bariatric ambulances .. they used to be called Pickfords Removal Vans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted May 12, 2017 Report Share Posted May 12, 2017 39 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: Admit it Alf, you watched it. It was on in the background while my dad taught me to play poker (a good life lesson as it put me off gamblng for life). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spanky Posted May 12, 2017 Report Share Posted May 12, 2017 16 hours ago, Witheredscrote said: I miss no English crap food, if I want some, which is rare, I can go to an outlet in Poitiers that specialises in the shit. The place is full of overweight British ex-pats, waddling about and saying 'oh look, they have got Richmonds sausages this week'. The local French regularly go and look, 'it's a bit like an afternoon at the zoo' said one to me. Come off it Withers, you filthy French cunt. I bet secretly you miss Pot Noodle, pork scratchings and getting a mouthful of herpes from the local council estate slags. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted May 12, 2017 Report Share Posted May 12, 2017 14 hours ago, nobgobbler said: He was always on about the 'tellingbone' as I recall. Yes, but can you recall the name of his pet toad ( no Googling it ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted May 12, 2017 Report Share Posted May 12, 2017 4 minutes ago, Spanky said: Come off it Withers, you filthy French cunt. I bet secretly you miss Pot Noodle, pork scratchings and getting a mouthful of herpes from the local council estate slags. None of the above. Anyway if I want herpes I will go to Marseille. I always shop locally. Oh, and fuck off Stickers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted May 12, 2017 Report Share Posted May 12, 2017 1 hour ago, Witheredscrote said: Yes, but can you recall the name of his pet toad ( no Googling it ) Nope. You are the better man withers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted May 12, 2017 Report Share Posted May 12, 2017 15 hours ago, nobgobbler said: He was always on about the 'tellingbone' as I recall. Was the phone a Semens? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted May 12, 2017 Report Share Posted May 12, 2017 9 minutes ago, The Lady Penelope said: Was the phone a Semens? How would I know if it belonged to a fisherman or not? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted May 12, 2017 Report Share Posted May 12, 2017 11 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: Nope. You are the better man withers. Touchwood the toad. Catweazel used to stroke it and go 'say say say'. Sad old cunt I am... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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