Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 Speed Humps, are the curse of the highway. In all shapes & sizes they clog-up our roads and achieve naff-all save for fucking up our motors and taking away the joy of driving. Whichever bright-sparked cunt came up with these poxy things, should be buried in one. Now, there's a thought: Why are they not used as burial mounds for cyclists & pedestrians? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 5 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: Speed Humps, are the curse of the highway. In all shapes & sizes they clog-up our roads and achieve naff-all save for fucking up our motors and taking away the joy of driving. Whichever bright-sparked cunt came up with these poxy things, should be buried in one. Now, there's a thought: Why are they not used as burial mounds for cyclists & pedestrians? This is what happens when you sack the green cross code man and give all the kids smartphones so they can wander around staring at them like gormless fucking retards while stepping off the kerb oblivious to anything going on around them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 6 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: Speed Humps, are the curse of the highway. In all shapes & sizes they clog-up our roads and achieve naff-all save for fucking up our motors and taking away the joy of driving. Whichever bright-sparked cunt came up with these poxy things, should be buried in one. Now, there's a thought: Why are they not used as burial mounds for cyclists & pedestrians? There was one outside my house in Crewe .. best thing they ever did. It cured the dozy school runners from doing 50 mph along a fairly narrow street. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 It's great seeing some pimply, baseball capped youth in a souped up VW leave bits of bumper and exhaust in the road when trying to drive at 40mph over these things. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 10 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: It's great seeing some pimply, baseball capped youth in a souped up VW leave bits of bumper and exhaust in the road when trying to drive at 40mph over these things. One young lad at work wrote his Vauxhall Corsa off trying to go over one at 50mph. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 13 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: It's great seeing some pimply, baseball capped youth in a souped up VW leave bits of bumper and exhaust in the road when trying to drive at 40mph over these things. Most of these cunts haven't actually done any mechanical work on the suspension to lower the ride height of the car, it's the 300kgs of speakers and amplifiers squashing the springs and giving it the appearance of a worm infested dog dragging it's arse along the ground. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 It because of all the small penises that upped the hp of their cars from years ago and then ragged them through the streets with their big bore exhausts and other such shit that these things were invented. They aren't anything new. Made by cunts because of cunts, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 17 minutes ago, Snatch said: It because of all the small penises that upped the hp of their cars from years ago and then ragged them through the streets with their big bore exhausts and other such shit that these things were invented. They aren't anything new. Made by cunts because of cunts, The lad I mentioned is 32 and still living with his mum, he passed the test on about 15th try and she bought him a 16 year old corsa so he could take her to the shops. He wrote it off three weeks after she bought it and he was fined £500 and now has to take some kind of special test to get his driving licence back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 Humping is brilliant on speed.... just sayin'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 1 hour ago, 'eavensabove said: Speed Humps, are the curse of the highway. In all shapes & sizes they clog-up our roads and achieve naff-all save for fucking up our motors and taking away the joy of driving. Whichever bright-sparked cunt came up with these poxy things, should be buried in one. Now, there's a thought: Why are they not used as burial mounds for cyclists & pedestrians? Or just the dead corpses of school kids mowed down by lazy fuckers who can't stick to the speed limit in a 30 zone. This boils my piss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 1 hour ago, Stubby Pecker said: Or just the dead corpses of school kids mowed down by lazy fuckers who can't stick to the speed limit in a 30 zone. This boils my piss If anything, these fucking humps make matters worse. Some idiots use them like zebra crossings and they think they can stroll across the cunts without a care. Come the snow & ice, they then bring road-driving to a halt. Many councils go AWOL with the designs & markings, doubling them up with chicanes and posts and all fucking sorts... not to mention that they cost as much as £100k each. It's not humps we need, its roads that can be driven on as intended. Naturally, any proper & decent driver doesn't drive like a fucking maniac whilst passing schools etc., and I s'pose that there are some places where humps are a benefit, but not in every fucking street like some councils have a habit of doing upon all & every strip of tarmac. Roads are not a playground for kids (and more parents should know better than to allow their little fuckers out on it) they were built for traffic, and not for humps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: This is what happens when you sack the green cross code man and give all the kids smartphones so they can wander around staring at them like gormless fucking retards while stepping off the kerb oblivious to anything going on around them. Let's assume for one moment that this table is a crowded shopping street on a Saturday afternoon. And this meringue, filled with whipped cream, is a young mother weighed down with groceries. And this juicy, over-ripe tomato is a tiny little girl, who doesn't know what a dangerous place her exciting new world is. And let's assume that this cling-film parcel, of mashed banana and jam is a deaf senior citizen, who is in a wheelchair, and is blind. And this cricket bat, with a breeze-block nailed to it, is your car. Now what happens when your car mounts the pavement? Think once. Think twice. Think DON'T DRIVE YOUR CAR ON THE PAVEMENT. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 3 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Let's assume for one moment that this table is a crowded shopping street on a Saturday afternoon. And this meringue, filled with whipped cream, is a young mother weighed down with groceries. And this juicy, over-ripe tomato is a tiny little girl, who doesn't know what a dangerous place her exciting new world is. And let's assume that this cling-film parcel, of mashed banana and jam is a deaf senior citizen, who is in a wheelchair, and is blind. And this cricket bat, with a breeze-block nailed to it, is your car. Now what happens when your car mounts the pavement? Think once. Think twice. Think DON'T DRIVE YOUR CAR ON THE PAVEMENT. Or, give us the pavements and let the walkers have the roads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 20 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Let's assume for one moment that this table is a crowded shopping street on a Saturday afternoon. And this meringue, filled with whipped cream, is a young mother weighed down with groceries. And this juicy, over-ripe tomato is a tiny little girl, who doesn't know what a dangerous place her exciting new world is. And let's assume that this cling-film parcel, of mashed banana and jam is a deaf senior citizen, who is in a wheelchair, and is blind. And this cricket bat, with a breeze-block nailed to it, is your car. Now what happens when your car mounts the pavement? Think once. Think twice. Think DON'T DRIVE YOUR CAR ON THE PAVEMENT. I remember those public information films, the best one was the warning to kids about fucking around climbing pylons and substations, the closing shot was a smouldering pair of trainers, the funniest was Alvin Stardusts road safety one, "hey, you crazy kids!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 7 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I remember those public information films, the best one was the warning to kids about fucking around climbing pylons and substations, the closing shot was a smouldering pair of trainers, the funniest was Alvin Stardusts road safety one, "hey, you crazy kids!" Ha! "Clunk Click Every Trip" was fine, if you had a good supply of LSD. I can recall seeing many a Green Cross Code giant, such as this fat green tusker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 Why are they called speed bumps? If anything, they make you go slower. The Germans call them ticken-tocken flippen-floppen. Or that might be windscreen wipers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 1 minute ago, Manky said: Why are they called speed bumps? If anything, they make you go slower. The Germans call them ticken-tocken flippen-floppen. Or that might be windscreen wipers. Apart from me waking up, that's my 2nd smile of the day. Bumps, humps, call then what you will, they shalt noweth be knowed forevermore as: Ticken-tocken flippen-floppen, Cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 my council has made efficiency savings and instead of using humps to slow cars down they are using a combination of speed divots and potholes by not repairing or resurfacing anything. the lazy cunts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 3 hours ago, Snatch said: It because of all the small penises that upped the hp of their cars from years ago and then ragged them through the streets with their big bore exhausts and other such shit that these things were invented. They aren't anything new. Made by cunts because of cunts, You mentioned big bore. Have you noticed that Bubba is back, he has already called me an idiot, and told me to fuck off. He is original if nothing else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 4 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: You mentioned big bore. Have you noticed that Bubba is back, he has already called me an idiot, and told me to fuck off. He is original if nothing else. I saw that. I bet your devastated with his remarks. Who expected something so original? It took the corner by surprise that did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 2 minutes ago, Snatch said: I saw that. I bet your devastated with his remarks. Who expected something so original? It took the corner by surprise that did. He will pick on you next, he is feeling confident now that he has his new mates Eric and 'eavens to back him up. Look out for a new wave of grassing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 5 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: He will pick on you next, he is feeling confident now that he has his new mates Eric and 'eavens to back him up. Look out for a new wave of grassing. It's not like you suffer from being a total cunt. It appears you enjoy every second of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 15 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: You mentioned big bore. Have you noticed that Bubba is back, he has already called me an idiot, and told me to fuck off. He is original if nothing else. i like Bubba. He isn't French. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 16 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: He will pick on you next, he is feeling confident now that he has his new mates Eric and 'eavens to back him up. Look out for a new wave of grassing. Eric and I are ok and Jazz has me blocked apparently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 10, 2017 Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 1 hour ago, Witheredscrote said: He will pick on you next, he is feeling confident now that he has his new mates Eric and 'eavens to back him up. Look out for a new wave of grassing. Are you totally obsessed with Bubba? I've spoken to him a couple of times, I speak to you as well, but don't plan on marrying either of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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