Eddie Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 These space invaders stand far too close whilst having a chat, for some reason they have to converse within an inch of your face. It does not make any difference if you retreat to a comfortable distance the cunts will close the gap in an instant. They do not have any comprehension that the spicy lunch or afternoon beers have made their breath putrid, even if you screw your face up as a clue it does not register. Conversation's should be at a comfortable distance of at least 1 meter. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 3 minutes ago, Eddie said: These space invaders stand far too close whilst having a chat, for some reason they have to converse within an inch of your face. It does not make any difference if you retreat to a comfortable distance the cunts will close the gap in an instant. They do not have any comprehension that the spicy lunch or afternoon beers have made their breath putrid, even if you screw your face up as a clue it does not register. Conversation's should be at a comfortable distance of at least 1 meter. Good nom Edders - I fucking hate these cunts. No, you don't need your fucking mouth 6" from mine to conduct a conversation. Get the fuck out of my face. Makes my flesh crawl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 Mm..since I kicked the ciggys ive noticed smokers breath smells like a burning pile of rubbish... despite the expensive perfume and toothpaste and boiled lemon sweets ..good nom by the way Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 Just like how naturists are always the last folk you ever want to see naked, people that invade your personal space are always the last people you want to be that close to. Worst cunts are when you're at functions where food is served, and some halitosis cunt is spitting all over your food. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 40 minutes ago, Eddie said: These space invaders stand far too close whilst having a chat, for some reason they have to converse within an inch of your face. It does not make any difference if you retreat to a comfortable distance the cunts will close the gap in an instant. They do not have any comprehension that the spicy lunch or afternoon beers have made their breath putrid, even if you screw your face up as a clue it does not register. Conversation's should be at a comfortable distance of at least 1 meter. This is the kind of behaviour that led mankind to invent the 'Stealth Headbutt', you fake a sneeze, simultaneously slamming your forehead into the bridge of the offenders nose, immediately apologise and blame Hay Fever or similar allergy for the unfortunate accident. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 45 minutes ago, Ape said: Good nom Edders - I fucking hate these cunts. No, you don't need your fucking mouth 6" from mine to conduct a conversation. Get the fuck out of my face. Makes my flesh crawl. I am most surprised that anybody wants to get within 6 metres of you, you are so aggressive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 Don't get me started on the space invaders that queue up behind you. I like to stand a comfortable distance behind the person in front and then there's either an old bastard that's kicking the back of your heels or some old dear shoving her shopping basket into that back of your knees. Fuck off you fucking cunts or the next queue you'll be standing in will be to introduce yourself to Lucifer somewhere really hot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 You see it a lot in working classes. Or holocaust survivors. Yes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 Just now, Witheredscrote said: I am most surprised that anybody wants to get within 6 metres of you, you are so aggressive. There was an old scrote on the bus yesterday .. he spoke with a posh but crackly voice and spent the entire journey talking about Thermos Flarsks (sic) odd are that it was "G"Ape. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 Just now, Witheredscrote said: I am most surprised that anybody wants to get within 6 metres of you, you are so aggressive. I certainly wouldn't want a stinking piece of French shit such as you within 6 kilometres of me, let alone 6 metres. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 2 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: somewhere really hot. Cheetham Hill or Moss Side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 3 minutes ago, ratcum said: You see it a lot in working classes. Or holocaust survivors. Yes. And dentists, they get really close, don't they Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 1 hour ago, Eddie said: These space invaders stand far too close whilst having a chat, for some reason they have to converse within an inch of your face. It does not make any difference if you retreat to a comfortable distance the cunts will close the gap in an instant. They do not have any comprehension that the spicy lunch or afternoon beers have made their breath putrid, even if you screw your face up as a clue it does not register. Conversation's should be at a comfortable distance of at least 1 meter. Gas or electric? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 2 hours ago, Eddie said: These space invaders stand far too close whilst having a chat, for some reason they have to converse within an inch of your face. It does not make any difference if you retreat to a comfortable distance the cunts will close the gap in an instant. They do not have any comprehension that the spicy lunch or afternoon beers have made their breath putrid, even if you screw your face up as a clue it does not register. Conversation's should be at a comfortable distance of at least 1 meter. I just push them away and say "Whoa back up fuck head, back up". Worked on my ex-husband anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: This is the kind of behaviour that led mankind to invent the 'Stealth Headbutt', you fake a sneeze, simultaneously slamming your forehead into the bridge of the offenders nose, immediately apologise and blame Hay Fever or similar allergy for the unfortunate accident. May I suggest following up with a rabbit punch to the solar plexus. This will render them on their arse fighting for breath. Every cunt will think he's having a heart attack and will close in to help, thus enabling you to escape. And if you're at a do, grab a couple of bottles of vino before you exit. Works for me ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 1 hour ago, ratcum said: You see it a lot in working classes. Or holocaust survivors. Yes. Not that you see many "survivors" anymore, JT. It's like they've given up. Gloria Gaynor was the last one. She'd have gone down well in Auschwitz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 2 minutes ago, Ollyboro said: Not that you see many "survivors" anymore, JT. It's like they've given up. Gloria Gaynor was the last one. She'd have gone down well in Auschwitz. She went down well everywhere else Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 14 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: May I suggest following up with a rabbit punch to the solar plexus. This will render them on their arse fighting for breath. Every cunt will think he's having a heart attack and will close in to help, thus enabling you to escape. And if you're at a do, grab a couple of bottles of vino before you exit. Works for me ? Very good advice, I myself favour an upward dig into the bottom rib(the floating one), always makes 'em spasm like they've been electrocuted. You grab the vino, I'll get the scotch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 1 hour ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: Don't get me started on the space invaders that queue up behind you. I like to stand a comfortable distance behind the person in front and then there's either an old bastard that's kicking the back of your heels or some old dear shoving her shopping basket into that back of your knees. Fuck off you fucking cunts or the next queue you'll be standing in will be to introduce yourself to Lucifer somewhere really hot. ....Or the fucker that coughs on the back of your head or exhales on the back of your neck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 1 hour ago, Witheredscrote said: I am most surprised that anybody wants to get within 6 metres of you, you are so aggressive. To quote in part Richard E Grant in Withnail & I - Withers, you terrible cunt! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 1 hour ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: Don't get me started on the space invaders that queue up behind you. I like to stand a comfortable distance behind the person in front and then there's either an old bastard that's kicking the back of your heels or some old dear shoving her shopping basket into that back of your knees. Fuck off you fucking cunts or the next queue you'll be standing in will be to introduce yourself to Lucifer somewhere really hot. Fucking spot on. I'm queuing for my bastard shopping I don't want some tosser breathing their vile breath onto my neck or listen to them screaming at their cunt kids in a guttural West Country accent (town not country). I like to reverse back slowly and see if they say anything. Same as twats behind the wheel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 11 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: ....Or the fucker that coughs on the back of your head or exhales on the back of your neck. Do people generally try to avoid looking at your face? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 1 hour ago, ratcum said: You see it a lot in working classes. Or holocaust survivors. Yes. My grandad survived the holocaust Ratty, he was fixing Hurricanes and Spitfires at RAF Biggin Hill and wasn't Jewish. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerncunt Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 Good nom, Eddie. I had one cunt at work get up in my grille all the time, and luckily I had just had a can of chipotle tuna. I did a silent burp, blew I subtlety in his direction,and viola. Never again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: My grandad survived the holocaust Ratty, he was fixing Hurricanes and Spitfires at RAF Biggin Hill and wasn't Jewish. He was very careful with his money though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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