Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 Some of the brains on here wont give this nom 5 seconds, but then again they'd eat anything... The five second rule, suggests that if you drop your food upon the floor, so long as you pick it up within 5 seconds then it is still perfectly safe to eat... Errrrm. Sure, if you drop your Hobnob on your lounge carpet then its obviously destined for the bin, but I ask you, surely half a Scotch Egg, dropped cut-face down on the floor of a shopping centre for example, would still be digestible the following day? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 Nowadays, the little darlings stuck on their laptops, tablets and games consoles aren't subject to the exposure to shite the same as us from the older generations. In my youth, falling out of a tree and nearly getting killed was a rite of passage to be undertaken thrice weekly. Getting lacerated knees covered in mud didn't merit 5 gallons of dettol, half a ton of Savlon and a week in intensive care. No wonder every cunt is a snowflake nowadays. Beat the 5 second rule, don't drop food on the floor. If you do eat it. Only faggots are scared of dying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 Mmm..drinking ditch water because you were thirsty or prising chewing gum off the road that had been compacted by a milllion car tyres for later consumption. .it's given me the robust health n physique I have today. .good nom eav baby Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 37 minutes ago, Manky said: Nowadays, the little darlings stuck on their laptops, tablets and games consoles aren't subject to the exposure to shite the same as us from the older generations. In my youth, falling out of a tree and nearly getting killed was a rite of passage to be undertaken thrice weekly. Getting lacerated knees covered in mud didn't merit 5 gallons of dettol, half a ton of Savlon and a week in intensive care. No wonder every cunt is a snowflake nowadays. Beat the 5 second rule, don't drop food on the floor. If you do eat it. Only faggots are scared of dying. Exactly. Half the stuff we eat today has been in contact with a darn-sight more than just the ground... If you aint got a stomach that can handle lead, then cunt-off and become anorexic. A bit of dirt never hurt no cunt. I never got where I am today by not being able to lap-up me cuppa-soup from my bog-floor, with relish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 44 minutes ago, Manky said: Nowadays, the little darlings stuck on their laptops, tablets and games consoles aren't subject to the exposure to shite the same as us from the older generations. In my youth, falling out of a tree and nearly getting killed was a rite of passage to be undertaken thrice weekly. Getting lacerated knees covered in mud didn't merit 5 gallons of dettol, half a ton of Savlon and a week in intensive care. No wonder every cunt is a snowflake nowadays. Beat the 5 second rule, don't drop food on the floor. If you do eat it. Only faggots are scared of dying. If you don't eat a bit of dirt you don't build up any immunity to bugs etc', I've got an NVQ 3 in food hygiene and you wouldn't believe the conformity requirements for food manufacture and processing, totally ridiculous, kids have been wrapped in cotton wool and turned into weaklings as a result. As for the myth of the '5 second rule' it's bollocks! Bacteria is transferred instantaneously from surface to surface, so 0.5 seconds is enough, let alone 5.0. Trouble is, if you're not exposed to it, you can't develop resistance and fall foul of every bit of grot. The population is turning into a bunch of anaemic fairies and they'll all die from common colds. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 I do look at some of the ad's and see gormless women spraying disinfectant on doors and handles ..I'd say they wear a pair of marigolds when they give the husbo a hand job Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 are you trying to tell us that Elton took a bite out of a spunk drizzled Mars bar? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 53 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: If you don't eat a bit of dirt you don't build up any immunity to bugs etc', I've got an NVQ 3 in food hygiene and you wouldn't believe the conformity requirements for food manufacture and processing, totally ridiculous, kids have been wrapped in cotton wool and turned into weaklings as a result. As for the myth of the '5 second rule' it's bollocks! Bacteria is transferred instantaneously from surface to surface, so 0.5 seconds is enough, let alone 5.0. Trouble is, if you're not exposed to it, you can't develop resistance and fall foul of every bit of grot. The population is turning into a bunch of anaemic fairies and they'll all die from common colds. Furthermore, washing our hands does naff-shit. In fact, it only destroys the skins natural defence against bugs, and makes matters worse than they were before we washed them. What the fuck is wrong with brushing off the dirt from a freshly picked carrot for example and eating the fucker raw? Fuck all, yet todays numbskull parents, scrub the cunts, microwave the fuckers or even worse use frozen or tinned shit in the hope that they are protecting their little darlings from hell knows what. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 3 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: are you trying to tell us that Elton took a bite out of a spunk drizzled Mars bar? ... and within 30 fucking minuets from it dropping out of a boys ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 12 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: are you trying to tell us that Elton took a bite out of a spunk drizzled Mars bar? It was shorty after he took a dump in the same bog punkape was seen lurking in. Obviously didn't decontaminate the bog seat... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 4 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: It was shorty after he took a dump in the same bog punkape was seen lurking in. Obviously didn't decontaminate the bog seat... "Bog seat"......Peasant. lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 50 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: are you trying to tell us that Elton took a bite out of a spunk drizzled Mars bar? Never did Marianne Faithful any harm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 4 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: If you don't eat a bit of dirt you don't build up any immunity to bugs etc', I've got an NVQ 3 in food hygiene and you wouldn't believe the conformity requirements for food manufacture and processing, totally ridiculous, kids have been wrapped in cotton wool and turned into weaklings as a result. As for the myth of the '5 second rule' it's bollocks! Bacteria is transferred instantaneously from surface to surface, so 0.5 seconds is enough, let alone 5.0. Trouble is, if you're not exposed to it, you can't develop resistance and fall foul of every bit of grot. The population is turning into a bunch of anaemic fairies and they'll all die from common colds. Roops told you that didn't she. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 Just now, Snatch said: Roops told you that didn't she. Funnily enough, no, just good old fashioned knowledge gained from workplace experience. It's all pretty much common sense, and doesn't need any fancy book learning. Basically if there's a trace of dogshit on the floor and a piece of food lands on it, there's shit on the food, the shit doesn't give you 5 seconds before it jumps onto it! Where this 5 second nonsense came from is a mystery to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: Never did Marianne Faithful any harm. That's because at the age of 37 she realised that she wouldn't ride to Paris in a sports car, with the warm wind in her hair. Or summink Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 Just now, camberwell gypsy said: That's because at the age of 37 she realised that she wouldn't ride to Paris in a sports car, with the warm wind in her hair. Or summink You rotten cow! You've just made me remember that awful dream sequence from Absolutely Fabulous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 Just now, Eric Cuntman said: You rotten cow! You've just made me remember that awful dream sequence from Absolutely Fabulous. Watched the first episode of that. Load of shite. Never watched it again, so that is lost on me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 13 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Watched the first episode of that. Load of shite. Never watched it again, so that is lost on me. I only sat through it for Mrs Cuntmans sake, cos I'm considerate, Marianne Facefull was in it once, singing that bastard song. Anita Pallenberg was in the same episode. Must've been a 'Whores from the 60's' special. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 It's not something I would ever do, I suppose because I cook for other people and it wouldn't be right. I do know a chef though, who regularly drops food on the floor and slaps it on the punters plates. Whenever a customer complains about the way the steak is cooked and he has to re-do the order, he drops the steak on the floor, and stamps on it before serving it up. He also goes in the walk-in fridge to scratch his balls and apply talcum powder to his sweaty crotch. So maybe the 5 second floor drop rule isn't so bad after all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: Funnily enough, no, just good old fashioned knowledge gained from workplace experience. It's all pretty much common sense, and doesn't need any fancy book learning. Basically if there's a trace of dogshit on the floor and a piece of food lands on it, there's shit on the food, the shit doesn't give you 5 seconds before it jumps onto it! Where this 5 second nonsense came from is a mystery to me. some "scientist" was prattling on and on about this morning on the tele. Eat anything off the floor he said, after 5 seconds of it being there, and it isn't fit for human consumption... The cunt has had it if he comes to mine for some fine dining. I'd be fucked if not for the bins outside of KFC. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 Punkape has an NVQ...if that means Now Very Queer, 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 11 minutes ago, Neil said: Punkape has an NVQ...if that means Now Very Queer, The level 1 is actually the food hygiene certificate you see proudly displayed on the walls of cafés and burger vans, the entire course for it lasts 2 hours and teaches you to wash your hands and not put raw meat in the same fridge as cooked stuff and salad. It stands for 'Not Very Qualified' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: The level 1 is actually the food hygiene certificate you see proudly displayed on the walls of cafés and burger vans, the entire course for it lasts 2 hours and teaches you to wash your hands and not put raw meat in the same fridge as cooked stuff and salad. It stands for 'Not Very Qualified' Bahhh. To fuck with all that nonsense. I've been punting-out me burgers on the hard-shoulder of the M25 for 70+ years, and I can only ever recall five of my customers dying from trying my 'eavens with cheese. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spanky Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 Anyone who has been to a fast food restaurant or consumed any sort of processesed food has literally eaten gallons of jizz, tonnes of scabs and at least five pubes. After all that lot, the five second rule is kind of superfluous. Never did any famous pop-stars any harm mind. The huge amounts of bum-banditry and herpes ridden groupies might have, but not the five second rule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 9 hours ago, Manky said: Only faggots are scared of dying. Is that the mantra you've adopted while living in Cheetham Hill? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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