Ape™️ Posted April 9, 2017 Report Share Posted April 9, 2017 I like the smell of a nice eau de parfum or eau de toilette, but fuck the fuck off with some of the prices. I realise that there must be development costs, but some of these cunts are charging over £1000 a litre for some of this stuff. Fucking cunts. *waits for IKTC to wade in with his big old wedge of cash that he's got on account of living with his mum* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Cunt Posted April 9, 2017 Report Share Posted April 9, 2017 I wouldn't want to smell like a designer, anyway. I'd rather smear myself with badger shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted April 9, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 9, 2017 Just now, Cap'n Cunt said: I wouldn't want to smell like a designer, anyway. I'd rather smear myself with badger shit. I thought you already did that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted April 9, 2017 Report Share Posted April 9, 2017 Are you talking Eau De Jordan or Toilet de Chav? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted April 9, 2017 Report Share Posted April 9, 2017 14 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: Are you talking Eau De Jordan or Toilet de Chav? "Old Legionaire". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted April 9, 2017 Report Share Posted April 9, 2017 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Cunt Posted April 9, 2017 Report Share Posted April 9, 2017 52 minutes ago, Ape said: I thought you already did that? Nothing wrong with badger shit. At least it keeps the poofs away. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 9, 2017 Report Share Posted April 9, 2017 21 minutes ago, Cap'n Cunt said: Nothing wrong with badger shit. At least it keeps the poofs away. You could market that. "Cap'n Cunt's poofaway". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted April 10, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 7 hours ago, Cap'n Cunt said: Nothing wrong with badger shit. At least it keeps the poofs away. Somehow I can't see you having a need to keep people away - I'm sure they do it of their own volition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted April 10, 2017 Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 There should be a ban on over scented people in restaurants. It can affect the taste of the food as much as the smell of some fucker lighting up (a ban I agree with and I even agreed it when I used to smoke cigarettes). You pay good money to smell as well as taste your food (smell is part of taste), not the glandular oozings of some ox and the spew from a whale. Subtlety is the key with scent surely, but when people spend loads on this eye watering inducing over priced shite then they will want you to know about it, so covering themselves in it. Stinking cunts. "Why do women wear make up and perfume daddy?" asked this little lad in the queue at the supermarket "Because they are ugly and they smell son" came his dad's immediate response, the mum didn't look too impressed, I reckon dad was sleeping on the couch that night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 10, 2017 Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 1 hour ago, Alfie Noakes said: There should be a ban on over scented people in restaurants. It can affect the taste of the food as much as the smell of some fucker lighting up (a ban I agree with and I even agreed it when I used to smoke cigarettes). You pay good money to smell as well as taste your food (smell is part of taste), not the glandular oozings of some ox and the spew from a whale. Subtlety is the key with scent surely, but when people spend loads on this eye watering inducing over priced shite then they will want you to know about it, so covering themselves in it. Stinking cunts. "Why do women wear make up and perfume daddy?" asked this little lad in the queue at the supermarket "Because they are ugly and they smell son" came his dad's immediate response, the mum didn't look too impressed, I reckon dad was sleeping on the couch that night. The man's right. That's why I need no make up. Apart from the stuff I use for my legs to make them shiny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hokey Gingers Posted April 10, 2017 Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 3 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: The man's right. That's why I need no make up. Apart from the stuff I use for my legs to make them shiny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted April 10, 2017 Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 3 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: The man's right. That's why I need no make up. Apart from the stuff I use for my legs to make them shiny. i have this mental image of you being a double 'Heather Mills' with a tin of Ronseal Woodstain for some strange reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted April 10, 2017 Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 15 hours ago, Ape said: I like the smell of a nice eau de parfum or eau de toilette, but fuck the fuck off with some of the prices. I realise that there must be development costs, but some of these cunts are charging over £1000 a litre for some of this stuff. Fucking cunts. *waits for IKTC to wade in with his big old wedge of cash that he's got on account of living with his mum* Everything on the cheap with you isn't it ? Dont Tesco do an own brand perfumes? If not purchase some Tesco bleach and pour some in a bowl. Add a half pint of your own urine. Stir in some fresh dog faeces until dissolved. Start singing a sea-shanty then pour over your head. You won't smell any worse than you do at the moment ! Fuck off. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted April 10, 2017 Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 I've never understood this whole aspiring to smell like the celebrity who's got their name on the fucking bottle of scent. Why the fuck would anycunt wish to smell like Kim fucking Kardashian? ie fat arses and spunk; Liz fucking Taylor - formaldehyde and spunk; Victoria fucking Beckham - bones and spunk; Jade fucking Goody - cancer and spunk; Cheryl fucking Tweedy Cole Fernandez Vagina - spunk and spunk. Personally this urban cool cat about town is more than happy to continue sashaying through the crowds emitting the natural aromas of fresh cock sweat (my own) and stale dog gleet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted April 10, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 11 minutes ago, Punkape said: Everything on the cheap with you isn't it ? Dont Tesco do an own brand perfumes? If not purchase some Tesco bleach and pour some in a bowl. Add a half pint of your own urine. Stir in some fresh dog faeces until dissolved. Start singing a sea-shanty then pour over your head. You won't smell any worse than you do at the moment ! Fuck off. A typical response from a predictable and tedious stereotype. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted April 10, 2017 Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 1 hour ago, Punkape said: Everything on the cheap with you isn't it ? Dont Tesco do an own brand perfumes? If not purchase some Tesco bleach and pour some in a bowl. Add a half pint of your own urine. Stir in some fresh dog faeces until dissolved. Start singing a sea-shanty then pour over your head. You won't smell any worse than you do at the moment ! Fuck off. Top form today punkers baby..got some fine cuntbaggery goin on Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted April 10, 2017 Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 3 hours ago, Hokey Gingers said: Hokey, I've given you a like, and now I'll give you some advice..... if you see a flamenco looking lady walking up to your front door, move house, now.... 1 hour ago, Ollyboro said: I've never understood this whole aspiring to smell like the celebrity who's got their name on the fucking bottle of scent. Why the fuck would anycunt wish to smell like Kim fucking Kardashian? ie fat arses and spunk; Liz fucking Taylor - formaldehyde and spunk; Victoria fucking Beckham - bones and spunk; Jade fucking Goody - cancer and spunk; Cheryl fucking Tweedy Cole Fernandez Vagina - spunk and spunk. Personally this urban cool cat about town is more than happy to continue sashaying through the crowds emitting the natural aromas of fresh cock sweat (my own) and stale dog gleet. yeah, but I'd still fuck Cheryl Cole 5 ways from Sunday, just shove some of those rubber earplugs up my nose, and put a clothes peg on it just in case.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted April 10, 2017 Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 3 hours ago, Ollyboro said: I've never understood this whole aspiring to smell like the celebrity who's got their name on the fucking bottle of scent. Why the fuck would anycunt wish to smell like Kim fucking Kardashian? ie fat arses and spunk; Liz fucking Taylor - formaldehyde and spunk; Victoria fucking Beckham - bones and spunk; Jade fucking Goody - cancer and spunk; Cheryl fucking Tweedy Cole Fernandez Vagina - spunk and spunk. I'm sure I've said this before, but what sort of fucking cunt in their right mind would contemplate for a billisecond buying a perfume called "Lovely" from Sarah Jessica Parker? My Lovely Horse, maybe. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted April 10, 2017 Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 12 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: I'm sure I've said this before, but what sort of fucking cunt in their right mind would contemplate for a billisecond buying a perfume called "Lovely" from Sarah Jessica Parker? My Lovely Horse, maybe. There's a whole episode of South Park virtually dedicated to to the 'horsiness' of SJP...go on Bawsy, you know you want to post a clip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted April 10, 2017 Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 10 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: There's a whole episode of South Park virtually dedicated to to the 'horsiness' of SJP...go on Bawsy, you know you want to post a clip. The cartoon version of her is probably better looking.... although to be fair... not bad for a 50 year old... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted April 10, 2017 Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 I cannot begin to express my gratitude that she at least has the decency to keep the jungle below tamed, and not overgrowing the swim cossie!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted April 11, 2017 Report Share Posted April 11, 2017 On 09/04/2017 at 10:15 PM, Ape said: I like the smell of a nice eau de parfum or eau de toilette, but fuck the fuck off with some of the prices. I realise that there must be development costs, but some of these cunts are charging over £1000 a litre for some of this stuff. Fucking cunts. *waits for IKTC to wade in with his big old wedge of cash that he's got on account of living with his mum* Mr Gobbler buys my perfume so I don't care how much it costs. You could try Grey Flannel @ £3 on ebay, unfortunately Punky bought the lot, he bathes in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted April 11, 2017 Report Share Posted April 11, 2017 On 10/04/2017 at 1:29 PM, Punkape said: Everything on the cheap with you isn't it ? Dont Tesco do an own brand perfumes? If not purchase some Tesco bleach and pour some in a bowl. Add a half pint of your own urine. Stir in some fresh dog faeces until dissolved. Start singing a sea-shanty then pour over your head. You won't smell any worse than you do at the moment ! Fuck off. Having a nice long soak in grey flannel tonight? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted April 11, 2017 Report Share Posted April 11, 2017 On 10/04/2017 at 5:40 PM, Cuntybaws said: I'm sure I've said this before, but what sort of fucking cunt in their right mind would contemplate for a billisecond buying a perfume called "Lovely" from Sarah Jessica Parker? My Lovely Horse, maybe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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