Ape™️ Posted March 29, 2017 Report Share Posted March 29, 2017 If you're going to eat Heinz baked beans, the only decent baked beans in existence, then why would you buy the shitty reduced salt variety? I can only assume they're aimed at cunts who live on the fucking things, to stop their hearts exploding due to high blood pressure. Fuck off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted March 29, 2017 Report Share Posted March 29, 2017 Any cunt that buys anything reduced in salt,fat or sugar is a cunt full stop,a greedy cunt that needs to cut down on portion size because they're probably a fat unfit cunt anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted March 29, 2017 Report Share Posted March 29, 2017 I tried them once and they are shit. Tastes like something my sister would make on her slimming world diet. Completely devoid of any flavour. Anyway, the only way to eat baked beans is on a silver platter, isn't that right punkape? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted March 29, 2017 Report Share Posted March 29, 2017 3 minutes ago, Neil said: Any cunt that buys anything reduced in salt,fat or sugar is a cunt full stop,a greedy cunt that needs to cut down on portion size because they're probably a fat unfit cunt anyway. Obese sods like you should try a salad now and again before lecturing on anything to do with food you disgusting lard arse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted March 29, 2017 Report Share Posted March 29, 2017 Just now, nobgobbler said: I tried them once and they are shit. Tastes like something my sister would make on her slimming world diet. Completely devoid of any flavour. Anyway, the only way to eat baked beans is on a silver platter, isn't that right punkape? I prefer to slowly reduce the sauce in my beans and add a good dollop of Fern's Madras paste. Add a generous handful of premium sultanas and simmer gently for 15 minutes. (You can sing the Volga boatmen whilst stirring if you like). Serve piping hot on freshly buttered toast with smoked bacon. Take a pan of these to your local prostitute if you wish. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted March 29, 2017 Report Share Posted March 29, 2017 59 minutes ago, Punkape said: I prefer to slowly reduce the sauce in my beans and add a good dollop of Fern's Madras paste. Add a generous handful of premium sultanas and simmer gently for 15 minutes. (You can sing the Volga boatmen whilst stirring if you like). Serve piping hot on freshly buttered toast with smoked bacon. Take a pan of these to your local prostitute if you wish. I bet you hand feed them to your vulgar boatman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 29, 2017 Report Share Posted March 29, 2017 1 hour ago, Punkape said: I prefer to slowly reduce the sauce in my beans and add a good dollop of Fern's Madras paste. Add a generous handful of premium sultanas and simmer gently for 15 minutes. (You can sing the Volga boatmen whilst stirring if you like). Serve piping hot on freshly buttered toast with smoked bacon. Take a pan of these to your local prostitute if you wish. Is that a Top Tip on how to treat your regular slapper? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted March 29, 2017 Report Share Posted March 29, 2017 1 hour ago, Punkape said: I prefer to slowly reduce the sauce in my beans and add a good dollop of Fern's Madras paste. Add a generous handful of premium sultanas and simmer gently for 15 minutes. (You can sing the Volga boatmen whilst stirring if you like). Serve piping hot on freshly buttered toast with smoked bacon. Take a pan of these to your local prostitute if you wish. Utter rubbish you live on a diet of spunk gargled at your local "cottage" gloryhole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted March 30, 2017 Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 10 hours ago, Alfie Noakes said: Utter rubbish you live on a diet of spunk gargled at your local "cottage" gloryhole. Will you be visiting your favourite gay "dogging" area in your Citroen van at the weekend ? lol. Lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted March 30, 2017 Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 13 hours ago, Punkape said: I prefer to slowly reduce the sauce in my beans and add a good dollop of Fern's Madras paste. Add a generous handful of premium sultanas and simmer gently for 15 minutes. (You can sing the Volga boatmen whilst stirring if you like). Serve piping hot on freshly buttered toast with smoked bacon. Take a pan of these to your local prostitute if you wish. What brand of salt do you buy . Saxo or Sniffta? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted March 30, 2017 Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 20 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said: What brand of salt do you buy . Saxo or Sniffta? Maldon of course. For good measure fuck off as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted March 30, 2017 Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 5 minutes ago, Punkape said: Maldon of course. For good measure fuck off as well. Treason .. Cheshire Salt is the only salt to use. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted March 30, 2017 Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 3 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said: Treason .. Cheshire Salt is the only salt to use. Cheshire cheese is mostly shit as well. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted March 30, 2017 Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 Just now, Punkape said: Cheshire cheese is mostly shit as well. Fuck off. That is correct so far as what is now sold as "cheshire cheese" .. proper cheshire cheese should not crumble .. have you tried "blue cheshire cheese"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted March 30, 2017 Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 Healthy dietary options are for cunts and bearded, piss-soaked gender-fluid sausagers. These are the frottagers who follow a poofter's game called "football", have ketchup with a full breakfast and masturbate over a laminate of Tim Farron. I want them dead. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted March 30, 2017 Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 3 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said: That is correct so far as what is now sold as "cheshire cheese" .. proper cheshire cheese should not crumble .. have you tried "blue cheshire cheese"? Blue cheese is not to my palate.I prefer strong cheddars,Swiss and French cheeses and more importantly the raw unpasteurised versions. Blue cheeses are for faggots. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted March 30, 2017 Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 1 hour ago, Punkape said: Blue cheese is not to my palate.I prefer strong cheddars,Swiss and French cheeses and more importantly the raw unpasteurised versions. Blue cheeses are for faggots. Swiss and French cheese? I didn't know you were a lover of foreign cock. Apart from the Nigerian you have in your cellar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted March 30, 2017 Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 6 minutes ago, Snatch said: Swiss and French cheese? I didn't know you were a lover of foreign cock. Apart from the Nigerian you have in your cellar. You should go dogging at the weekend with Noakes.....he'll supply all the "equipment" in his Citroen van and the geese...... lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 30, 2017 Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 2 hours ago, Rev said: Healthy dietary options are for cunts and bearded, piss-soaked gender-fluid sausagers. These are the frottagers who follow a poofter's game called "football", have ketchup with a full breakfast and masturbate over a laminate of Tim Farron. I want them dead. Ketchup on sausages, bacon or any meat annoys the fuck out of me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted March 30, 2017 Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 Speaking as man whose first action if presented with a plate of salt would be to season with it with some more salt, any form of "reduced" fucking anything can fuck right off and die. Diet Irn Bru - what the fuck is that about? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted March 30, 2017 Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 26 minutes ago, Snatch said: Swiss and French cheese? I didn't know you were a lover of foreign cock. Apart from the Nigerian you have in your cellar. I think you'll find he's the one locked in the Nigerians cellar and dragged out for brutal fisting most evenings, which he enjoys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted April 1, 2017 Report Share Posted April 1, 2017 There is one advantage to low sodium foods. You can season them with other nice herbs and spices and get a different flavour set. However, if anybody wants to be that poofy and gay, they can cook their own. Cunts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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