Witheredscrote Posted March 10, 2017 Report Share Posted March 10, 2017 Anybody else seen the t.v. ad that has started airing. V. I. POO, I kid you not, a pre-dump handbag size spray that gets rid of the smell of shit. Just spray in the water. A little container will set you back £ 10!!. ' Stop being embarrassed about leaving a bad odour ' they say. Fuck off, I like the next user's eyes to fucking water with the stench I have left. I just hope the stupid cunts who make this can supply in 5 litre containers. That rancid old cunt Lady Pen would need at least that amount. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted March 10, 2017 Report Share Posted March 10, 2017 They're wasting their time trying to flog this to the French. Those cunts would probably try to drink it, which is actually understandable as it couldn't be any worse than Beaujolais Nouveau. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted March 10, 2017 Report Share Posted March 10, 2017 29 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: They're wasting their time trying to flog this to the French. Those cunts would probably try to drink it, which is actually understandable as it couldn't be any worse than Beaujolais Nouveau. At least it would improve on that classic froggy breath. This may be an achievement man has needed since the dawn of time, the next step in human evolution if you will. Who knows what we could accomplish with non-stinking French people? At the very least it would make killing them more bearable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 10, 2017 Report Share Posted March 10, 2017 I saw that ad and had to check it wasn't april 1st or Red Nose Day, they really are coming up with shit we don't need. Just like that IR soap dispenser "so you don't catch germs", YOU'RE ABOUT TO WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS FOR FUCKS SAKE! * Withers, if you need any explanation as to what soap is, fuck off, ok? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted March 10, 2017 Report Share Posted March 10, 2017 4 hours ago, Witheredscrote said: Anybody else seen the t.v. ad that has started airing. V. I. POO, I kid you not, a pre-dump handbag size spray that gets rid of the smell of shit. Just spray in the water. A little container will set you back £ 10!!. ' Stop being embarrassed about leaving a bad odour ' they say. Fuck off, I like the next user's eyes to fucking water with the stench I have left. I just hope the stupid cunts who make this can supply in 5 litre containers. That rancid old cunt Lady Pen would need at least that amount. I might like a Ding post out of spite for this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 10, 2017 Report Share Posted March 10, 2017 26 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: I saw that ad and had to check it wasn't april 1st or Red Nose Day, they really are coming up with shit we don't need. Just like that IR soap dispenser "so you don't catch germs", YOU'RE ABOUT TO WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS FOR FUCKS SAKE! * Withers, if you need any explanation as to what soap is, fuck off, ok? You shameless fucking idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 10, 2017 Report Share Posted March 10, 2017 A very British form of toilet etiquette is what I like to call, 'the courtesy hammock' this is when you are a guest in someone else's house and in the unfortunate position of needing a dump. The 'hammock' is the wad of loo roll you chuck down the pan first so your hosts don't hear your splashdown. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 10, 2017 Report Share Posted March 10, 2017 16 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: A very British form of toilet etiquette is what I like to call, 'the courtesy hammock' this is when you are a guest in someone else's house and in the unfortunate position of needing a dump. The 'hammock' is the wad of loo roll you chuck down the pan first so your hosts don't hear your splashdown. Don't give us all that rubbish. You 'top deck' them don't you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted March 10, 2017 Report Share Posted March 10, 2017 30 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: A very British form of toilet etiquette is what I like to call, 'the courtesy hammock' this is when you are a guest in someone else's house and in the unfortunate position of needing a dump. The 'hammock' is the wad of loo roll you chuck down the pan first so your hosts don't hear your splashdown. Cunts who don't courtesy flush grind my balls. Once you're laid your cable flush the steamer for fucks sake, don't leave it there, 4 inches poking out the water, polluting the atmosphere for the next poor bastard to gag on. Get shot of it then you can read the FT at your leisure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 11, 2017 Report Share Posted March 11, 2017 35 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: A very British form of toilet etiquette is what I like to call, 'the courtesy hammock' this is when you are a guest in someone else's house and in the unfortunate position of needing a dump. The 'hammock' is the wad of loo roll you chuck down the pan first so your hosts don't hear your splashdown. Your observational toilet humour is second to none, Eric. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 11, 2017 Report Share Posted March 11, 2017 39 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Don't give us all that rubbish. You 'top deck' them don't you? What is 'top decking'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted March 11, 2017 Report Share Posted March 11, 2017 5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: What is 'top decking'? It's a bit like Double Deckering, but without the overtones of paedophilia. Go get 'em, Tiger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 11, 2017 Report Share Posted March 11, 2017 44 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Don't give us all that rubbish. You 'top deck' them don't you? I just looked it up on urban dictionary, and I'm shocked that a lady would even know of such a thing! Putting a whole bottle of fairy liquid in the cistern is fun though, watching the victim being chased out of the bog by a foam monster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 11, 2017 Report Share Posted March 11, 2017 7 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: It's a bit like Double Deckering, but without the overtones of paedophilia. Go get 'em, Tiger. You're becoming more surreal than Ratty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 11, 2017 Report Share Posted March 11, 2017 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: What is 'top decking'? You shit in the cistern 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 11, 2017 Report Share Posted March 11, 2017 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: I just looked it up on urban dictionary, and I'm shocked that a lady would even know of such a thing! Putting a whole bottle of fairy liquid in the cistern is fun though, watching the victim being chased out of the bog by a foam monster. Done it a few times when anyone pissed me off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted March 11, 2017 Report Share Posted March 11, 2017 2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: A very British form of toilet etiquette is what I like to call, 'the courtesy hammock' this is when you are a guest in someone else's house and in the unfortunate position of needing a dump. The 'hammock' is the wad of loo roll you chuck down the pan first so your hosts don't hear your splashdown. I do this in my own house. I don't like getting a wet arse and balls when I open the bay doors. Strange how the smallest nuggets always make the biggest splash... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted March 11, 2017 Report Share Posted March 11, 2017 Is the volume of splash affected by water temperature? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted March 11, 2017 Report Share Posted March 11, 2017 10 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: They're wasting their time trying to flog this to the French. Those cunts would probably try to drink it, which is actually understandable as it couldn't be any worse than Beaujolais Nouveau. And it would make their garlic infused breath seem moderately tolerable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted March 11, 2017 Report Share Posted March 11, 2017 8 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: You're becoming more surreal than Ratty. That cunt out of Aswad was in it too, and they had a fat cunt long before it became de riguer. "Doughnut", he was called, which isn't terribly PC but you've got to start somewhere I suppose. There was a also cunt called "Sticks". With a name like that you'd think he'd be a raspberry, but no. He was American, though, so the writers probably reckoned that was handicap enough. Also, the lazy cunts probably couldn't be arsed working out a different humorous way to get him up the stairs every week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Cunt Posted March 11, 2017 Report Share Posted March 11, 2017 8 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: It's a bit like Double Deckering, but without the overtones of paedophilia. Go get 'em, Tiger. Is that leaving two Desmonds in the pan? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted March 11, 2017 Report Share Posted March 11, 2017 The queen and I do not shit. However, one has just flushed the water closet and the tradesman chappie is in there now replacing the boiler. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 11, 2017 Report Share Posted March 11, 2017 2 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: The queen and I do not shit. However, one has just flushed the water closet and the tradesman chappie is in there now replacing the boiler. I've seen some videos about the plumber coming round, never heard it called replacing the boiler... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted March 11, 2017 Report Share Posted March 11, 2017 16 minutes ago, Cap'n Cunt said: Is that leaving two Desmonds in the pan? You're closer than you might think! I've got the fucking theme tune stuck in my head now, an earworm that will probably be there all weekend. Still, I don't see why I should suffer alone... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted March 11, 2017 Report Share Posted March 11, 2017 14 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: You're closer than you might think! I've got the fucking theme tune stuck in my head now, an earworm that will probably be there all weekend. Still, I don't see why I should suffer alone... The fat cunt who played Doughnut died of a heart attack in 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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