Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 1 minute ago, Cuntybaws said: It's certainly not unknown for cheeky cunts to have an accident in a deep fat fryer. "Dookin' for chips" we call it. "Cooking" is plain sailing. "Dookin' "? Never heard of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 4, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 25 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I hate all Australian cities. Yeah, especially Vienna. What a fucking dump. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 1 minute ago, Stubby Pecker said: Fucking bollocks, fight dirty and to the death, this ain't cuddly corner you limp wristed sausagers. It's getting cuddlier every day, earlier today I innocently suggested shoving a bacon wrapped saveloy up the arse of Allah and destroying all Muslims with pork tipped nuclear missiles, and the post was removed! Fucking outrageous encroachment on my right to freedom of speech. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: It's getting cuddlier every day, earlier today I innocently suggested shoving a bacon wrapped saveloy up the arse of Allah and destroying all Muslims with pork tipped nuclear missiles, and the post was removed! Fucking outrageous encroachment on my right to freedom of speech. I did read it. Thought it slightly reactionary but highly effective but not as effective as using all the worlds nukes to incinerate the Middle East and the good, kindly folk who dwell there. The flaws in your plan include destroying most of the worlds oil supply and the small matter of killing every living thing on planet earth, otherwise I'm all for it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 9 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: I did read it. Thought it slightly reactionary but highly effective but not as effective as using all the worlds nukes to incinerate the Middle East and the good, kindly folk who dwell there. The flaws in your plan include destroying most of the worlds oil supply and the small matter of killing every living thing on planet earth, otherwise I'm all for it. What with Ape's chips, Eric's Pork and my Cupcakes, I'm feeling slightly bilious. Lets drop a bucket of my Puke on the Middle Eastern Mushlips. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 Am no allowed in ma local Iceland anymore ken on account of interfering wi the frozen produce. At least thats wit the police radge told me. Fuckin Big Johnny here got himself a fuckin custodial sentence for that yin. Still go in tae the Lidl next to it an chat up they Polish birds in there ken? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 2 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said: Am no allowed in ma local Iceland anymore ken on account of interfering wi the frozen produce. At least thats wit the police radge told me. Fuckin Big Johnny here got himself a fuckin custodial sentence for that yin. Still go in tae the Lidl next to it an chat up they Polish birds in there ken? You're Jake on The Take Lidl Lidl Lidl-um. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 2 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: You're Jake on The Take Lidl Lidl Lidl-um. You callin me a Jakey ya fuckin weapon? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 4, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 16 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: What with Ape's chips, Eric's Pork and my Cupcakes, I'm feeling slightly bilious. Lets drop a bucket of my Puke on the Middle Eastern Mushlips. Rick! Rick! Come quick! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 20 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: I did read it. Thought it slightly reactionary but highly effective but not as effective as using all the worlds nukes to incinerate the Middle East and the good, kindly folk who dwell there. The flaws in your plan include destroying most of the worlds oil supply and the small matter of killing every living thing on planet earth, otherwise I'm all for it. The oil thing won't be a problem, without the terrorist threat, all the scientific minds currently engaged in building smart bombs etc' will be free to start work on hydrogen fuel cells and normality will return. Or those cunts at Texaco can be made to release the design blueprint of the hydrogen cell which they covered up in the eighties so they wouldn't be put out of business. As for the nice peaceful inhabitants of the Middle East, they can be relocated to the Channel Islands, the inbreds won't notice. Right, now that's all sorted out, can I start stretching the dead pigs over the nose cones of the ICBM's? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 6 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: The oil thing won't be a problem, without the terrorist threat, all the scientific minds currently engaged in building smart bombs etc' will be free to start work on hydrogen fuel cells and normality will return. Or those cunts at Texaco can be made to release the design blueprint of the hydrogen cell which they covered up in the eighties so they wouldn't be put out of business. As for the nice peaceful inhabitants of the Middle East, they can be relocated to the Channel Islands, the inbreds won't notice. Right, now that's all sorted out, can I start stretching the dead pigs over the nose cones of the ICBM's? I can see you've put some thought into this. Hold fire on the bacon cluster bombs- What about a few Ebola corpses? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 6 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: I can see you've put some thought into this. Hold fire on the bacon cluster bombs- What about a few Ebola corpses? Stubby, you're a fucking genius! I hadn't considered the tried and tested medieval tactic of launching diseased animal carcasses at the enemy. I shall start constructing a giant Trebuchet type siege catapult first thing in the morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted March 4, 2017 Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said: Stubby, you're a fucking genius! I hadn't considered the tried and tested medieval tactic of launching diseased animal carcasses at the enemy. I shall start constructing a giant Trebuchet type siege catapult first thing in the morning. Good luck. You're gonna have to fuck off the darkest bongo bongo land to find your warhead or break into Portman down. VX gas is popular at the mo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 10 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: Good luck. You're gonna have to fuck off the darkest bongo bongo land to find your warhead or break into Portman down. VX gas is popular at the mo 16 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Stubby, you're a fucking genius! I hadn't considered the tried and tested medieval tactic of launching diseased animal carcasses at the enemy. I shall start constructing a giant Trebuchet type siege catapult first thing in the morning. A bowel of Coco Pops would be just as effective 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 15 minutes ago, ratcum said: A bowel of Coco Pops would be just as effective You seem to be diversifying, moving away from banana based solutions. I shall play Harry Belafonte and hold a vigil for you Ratty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 7 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said: I can see you've put some thought into this. Hold fire on the bacon cluster bombs- What about a few Ebola corpses? Back on topic. What about a dirty bomb filled with carbonised shrapnel from Apes bag of chips? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 11 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: You seem to be diversifying, moving away from banana based solutions. I shall play Harry Belafonte and hold a vigil for you Ratty. How do you play Harry Belafonte? It sounds disgusting Authoritah. As for holding Virgil from Thunderbirds, I don't think Gerry Anderson bothered giving him a pecker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 28 minutes ago, ratcum said: How do you play Harry Belafonte? It sounds disgusting Authoritah. As for holding Virgil from Thunderbirds, I don't think Gerry Anderson bothered giving him a pecker Parker had a Pen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Parker had a Pen. A girl in my class in school found an injured thrush and nursed it back to a state of semi-incapacitated walking. "How's your thrush today Alison?" we used to never tire of enquiring. If I hadn't been so hard up, I might have bought her a yoghurt to extend the joke further Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 13 hours ago, Ape said: Yeah, especially Vienna. What a fucking dump. It means nothing to me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 12 hours ago, Ape said: Rick! Rick! Come quick! Grass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 19 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Parker had a Pen. Perhaps Parker, had Pen? She's quite a catch so I'm told. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 13 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: Perhaps Parker, had Pen? She's quite a catch so I'm told. She had a crap last night on the open corner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 15 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: She had a crap last night on the open corner. I just knew I'd seen what appeared to be Frank's hair amongst the turf. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: She had a crap last night on the open corner. You means she posted crap on the open corner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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