Decimus Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 Our smoking shelter at work is a depressing Stalinist shack. Located at the far end of the car park amidst stinking wheelie bins, the depressing trudge over there can only be likened to the depredations of The Trail of Tears. When I eventually get there, all I want to do is sit down on the only two seats provided and smoke in peace. Recently though, a Scotch cunt from Housing with an E-Cig seems to have taken up permanent residence there, and refuses to leave, despite the fact that real, dedicated smokers are shivering to death whilst stood up in the pouring rain. This Balamory cunt is an absolute fucking disgrace and a selfish slag, who although allowed by HR to puff her shit at her desk, insists on taking up the prime real estate of real smokers. My only wish is that the smoke I intentionally blow into her fat, fucking Pictish face each day gives her second hand smokers lung cancer before the year is out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 E cigarette smokers look fucking stupid. From a distance it looks like their head's on fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 There seems to be some trend to buy the biggest, loudist, chrome plated gadgety looking piece of shit to suck on... I suggest H&K UMP45 with stubby grip, silencer, laser sight and torch... in chrome, of course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 16 minutes ago, Decimus said: Our smoking shelter at work is a depressing Stalinist shack. Located at the far end of the car park amidst stinking wheelie bins, the depressing trudge over there can only be likened to the depredations of The Trail of Tears. When I eventually get there, all I want to do is sit down on the only two seats provided and smoke in peace. Recently though, a Scotch cunt from Housing with an E-Cig seems to have taken up permanent residence there, and refuses to leave, despite the fact that real, dedicated smokers are shivering to death whilst stood up in the pouring rain. This Balamory cunt is an absolute fucking disgrace and a selfish slag, who although allowed by HR to puff her shit at her desk, insists on taking up the prime real estate of real smokers. My only wish is that the smoke I intentionally blow into her fat, fucking Pictish face each day gives her second hand smokers lung cancer before the year is out. How very short sighted of you......this lassie is obviously interested in you and is obviously pulling out all the stops to get noticed by you....stop being such an insensitive and selfish cunt and do the decent thing.....invite her round the back of the bins for a lunchtime knee trembler, afterwards you could share one of your rollups in post coital bliss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 33 minutes ago, Decimus said: This Balamory cunt is an absolute fucking disgrace and a selfish slag, who although allowed by HR to puff her shit at her desk, insists on taking up the prime real estate of real smokers. My only wish is that the smoke I intentionally blow into her fat, fucking Pictish face each day gives her second hand smokers lung cancer before the year is out. Stick your thumbs up your arse and ride around the shelter on your elbows Deco. She'll either be impressed, in which case you'll get some leg tonight for sure, or she'll fuck off and you can carry on with the lung torpedoes in peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 41 minutes ago, Decimus said: Our smoking shelter at work is a depressing Stalinist shack. Located at the far end of the car park amidst stinking wheelie bins, the depressing trudge over there can only be likened to the depredations of The Trail of Tears. When I eventually get there, all I want to do is sit down on the only two seats provided and smoke in peace. Recently though, a Scotch cunt from Housing with an E-Cig seems to have taken up permanent residence there, and refuses to leave, despite the fact that real, dedicated smokers are shivering to death whilst stood up in the pouring rain. This Balamory cunt is an absolute fucking disgrace and a selfish slag, who although allowed by HR to puff her shit at her desk, insists on taking up the prime real estate of real smokers. My only wish is that the smoke I intentionally blow into her fat, fucking Pictish face each day gives her second hand smokers lung cancer before the year is out. Sounds like she's nae stranger to the Mars bar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 14 minutes ago, luke swarm said: How very short sighted of you......this lassie is obviously interested in you and is obviously pulling out all the stops to get noticed by you....stop being such an insensitive and selfish cunt and do the decent thing.....invite her round the back of the bins for a lunchtime knee trembler, afterwards you could share one of your rollups in post coital bliss. Luke you chode, you've just given away the plot of Finding Nemo 3: "The Flotsam Shag". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 Fuck off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted November 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 1 minute ago, Frank said: Fuck off. There you go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 Sounds like the lazy bitch is finding any excuse to do less work. Decs,tell her to stop polluting your space with her electric smoke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 2 hours ago, Decimus said: Our smoking shelter at work is a depressing Stalinist shack. Located at the far end of the car park amidst stinking wheeliRecently though, a Scotch cunt Yeeeeeee-haaaaaaaw !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 43 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Yeeeeeee-haaaaaaaw !! You've become an overnight total fucking embarrassment. A real shocker of an idiot. This place, this one place where I seek refuge from everything that is shit... I find you - Quincy fucking Cockfingers. Fucking cunt. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 8 minutes ago, Frank said: You've become an overnight total fucking embarrassment. A real shocker of an idiot. This place, this one place where I seek refuge from everything that is shit... I find you - Quincy fucking Cockfingers. Fucking cunt. I've given up any hope of another video Frank, but what about a nom? For old times sake? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 12 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: I've given up any hope of another video Frank, but what about a nom? For old times sake? I'm still lacking the self-belief to consider knocking out any sort of nom, but I promise to make up for it soon with a showstopping video. Alright.. mate? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 6 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: I've given up any hope of another video Frank, but what about a nom? For old times sake? Don't, Bill, his last one was a shambles. Exactly the sort of watery, waffling drivel he lambasts Quincy for. Pair of idiots. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 Fucking hell Dex. What an extremely slow way to kill yourself. Can I suggest you cut your next 50 grams of Golden Virginia with some cyanide crystals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted November 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 10 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: Fucking hell Dex. What an extremely slow way to kill yourself. Can I suggest you cut your next 50 grams of Golden Virginia with some cyanide crystals. I don't smoke roll ups, Drew. If I'm going to give myself a dose of the Withers, I'm not going to go about it like some sort of hairy arsed manual fucking labourer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 3 hours ago, Decimus said: Our smoking shelter at work is a depressing Stalinist shack. Located at the far end of the car park amidst stinking wheelie bins, the depressing trudge over there can only be likened to the depredations of The Trail of Tears. When I eventually get there, all I want to do is sit down on the only two seats provided and smoke in peace. Recently though, a Scotch cunt from Housing with an E-Cig seems to have taken up permanent residence there, and refuses to leave, despite the fact that real, dedicated smokers are shivering to death whilst stood up in the pouring rain. This Balamory cunt is an absolute fucking disgrace and a selfish slag, who although allowed by HR to puff her shit at her desk, insists on taking up the prime real estate of real smokers. My only wish is that the smoke I intentionally blow into her fat, fucking Pictish face each day gives her second hand smokers lung cancer before the year is out. What a coincidence, only this morning I was listening to a journalist reporting from Aleppo about all the bombing, shelling and acts of genocide. He said he could cope with that, but what he was having difficulty with, was this U.N. soldier using an Ecig in the same bunker as the smokers. Get a fucking life you sad parochial pen pushing cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted November 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 6 minutes ago, Bedbug said: What a coincidence, only this morning I was listening to a journalist reporting from Aleppo about all the bombing, shelling and acts of genocide. He said he could cope with that, but what he was having difficulty with, was this U.N. soldier using an Ecig in the same bunker as the smokers. Get a fucking life you sad parochial pen pushing cunt. This from the author of "The Price of Tea". Fuck me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 2 minutes ago, Decimus said: This from the author of "The Price of Tea". Fuck me. Yes, but the price of tea was fact. Your smoking shed is fantasy. The truth is that you have to smoke in your 10 year old Nissan Micra, doing an impression of an Arbroath Smokie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 1 minute ago, Bedbug said: Yes, but the price of tea was fact. Your smoking shed is fantasy. The truth is that you have to smoke in your 10 year old Nissan Micra, doing an impression of an Arbroath Smokie. I had my doubts about the smoking shed fantasy too. I mean, it's simply too far fetched to believe isn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted November 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 8 minutes ago, Bedbug said: Yes, but the price of tea was fact. Your smoking shed is fantasy. The truth is that you have to smoke in your 10 year old Nissan Micra, doing an impression of an Arbroath Smokie. Only a Frenchman would consider a dilapidated shack that absolutely reeked of cigarette smoke and was covered in seagull shit to be some sort of fantastical Nirvana that was too good to be true. Sort yourself the fuck out, Withers. I don't know what the thinking was behind this Bedbug shit, but I suggest you reevaluate it sharpish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 12 minutes ago, Decimus said: Sort yourself the fuck out, Withers. I don't know what the thinking was behind this Bedbug shit, but I suggest you reevaluate it sharpish. Say it ain't so bedbug, I was so moved by withers brave battle, when he passed, I signed up a direct debit to cancer research in his honour. You better be dead you cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted November 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 5 minutes ago, Eddie said: Say it ain't so bedbug, I was so moved by withers brave battle, when he passed, I signed up a direct debit to cancer research in his honour. You better be dead you cunt. It's the French paradox I'm afraid, Edders. No matter how much cheap vin rouge and congealed confit goose cock he shoves down his toothless fucking gob, the cunt just refuses to die. He's half English though, so there's still hope he'll choke to death on his own vomit in a Yates bar toilet. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 1 hour ago, Eddie said: Say it ain't so bedbug, I was so moved by withers brave battle, when he passed, I signed up a direct debit to cancer research in his honour. You better be dead you cunt. Nice avatar, Edward. You should've said you were Marketing Director and not just a lowly counter attendant. We all feel like mugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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