Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 Mon dieu! Another attack on the French! Paris is the embodiment of the phrase 'reality failing to meet expectation'. Years of careful conditioning, with portrayal in cutesy films like Amelie, makes everybody think Paris is this wonderfully evocative, romantic and whimsical city where a girl can wander around in a vintage polka dot dress waiting to be swept off your feet by an amorous but sensitive French chap, or where a guy can wander the streets in crisply laundered cotton trousers and straw boater, reading poetry from a book and stopping in to a corner cafe for a quick nip of absinthe and an oggle at a Go-go dancer. Bollocks. Paris is basically a few square miles of pretty city surrounded by a dense doughnut, miles thick, of slums, ghettos, abject poverty, crime and filth. Even the nice bits in the center are a hotbed of pickpockets, thieves and scammers. Any of the major tourist attractions have gangs of Roma literally 'working' the area, with their shitty clipboards and their shitty "Hey mister, speak English? Russian?" chat. All the fucking time. At least they are too thick to realise that their odd 17th Century peasant dresscode makes them stand out a Roma(n) mile. In that fucking awful film, Amelie could fanny around on the steps of the Sacré-Cœur without being hounded for a signature or accidentally stepping on some Moroccan cunt selling key-chains or other assorted tat made from coke cans. She probably never walked into a public bathroom and saw a Somalian chap washing his feet in the toilet bowl either. The only cunts worse than the Roma beggars are the bleeding-heart tourist cunts that actually put their bags and cameras down to fill in the fucking bullshit forms the Roma crowd you with, or who buy water from the shifty Albanian guys on the banks of the Seine and then wonder why they get ill from glugging sewer water drained into a bottle fished out of a bin with the lid superglued back on. There is no undiscovered Paris. There is no rich underbelly to tap into. The popular and pretty sections have been known about for centuries, so you get ripped off if you even breathe in the vicinity of any of them. The rest of Paris is a best-avoided shitheap of concrete jungle and constant muggings. Parisians know they are arrogant, snobby cunts and play up to the stereotype as well. The waiters in even the worst restaurants are rude, patronising dickheads. If you sit outside you have to watch all your belongings like a hawk or some street urchin will come and half-inch anything you don't nail down. Expensive, polluted, crime-ridden hellhole of a city. Vastly overrated by Brits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 I like Paris in the springtime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 Nice one Dan, sounds like you're describing Woolwich. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 4 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: I like Paris in the springtime. Ja. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 20 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said: Mon dieu! Another attack on the French! Paris is the embodiment of the phrase 'reality failing to meet expectation'. Years of careful conditioning, with portrayal in cutesy films like Amelie, makes everybody think Paris is this wonderfully evocative, romantic and whimsical city where a girl can wander around in a vintage polka dot dress waiting to be swept off your feet by an amorous but sensitive French chap, or where a guy can wander the streets in crisply laundered cotton trousers and straw boater, reading poetry from a book and stopping in to a corner cafe for a quick nip of absinthe and an oggle at a Go-go dancer. Bollocks. Paris is basically a few square miles of pretty city surrounded by a dense doughnut, miles thick, of slums, ghettos, abject poverty, crime and filth. Even the nice bits in the center are a hotbed of pickpockets, thieves and scammers. Any of the major tourist attractions have gangs of Roma literally 'working' the area, with their shitty clipboards and their shitty "Hey mister, speak English? Russian?" chat. All the fucking time. At least they are too thick to realise that their odd 17th Century peasant dresscode makes them stand out a Roma(n) mile. In that fucking awful film, Amelie could fanny around on the steps of the Sacré-Cœur without being hounded for a signature or accidentally stepping on some Moroccan cunt selling key-chains or other assorted tat made from coke cans. She probably never walked into a public bathroom and saw a Somalian chap washing his feet in the toilet bowl either. The only cunts worse than the Roma beggars are the bleeding-heart tourist cunts that actually put their bags and cameras down to fill in the fucking bullshit forms the Roma crowd you with, or who buy water from the shifty Albanian guys on the banks of the Seine and then wonder why they get ill from glugging sewer water drained into a bottle fished out of a bin with the lid superglued back on. There is no undiscovered Paris. There is no rich underbelly to tap into. The popular and pretty sections have been known about for centuries, so you get ripped off if you even breathe in the vicinity of any of them. The rest of Paris is a best-avoided shitheap of concrete jungle and constant muggings. Parisians know they are arrogant, snobby cunts and play up to the stereotype as well. The waiters in even the worst restaurants are rude, patronising dickheads. If you sit outside you have to watch all your belongings like a hawk or some street urchin will come and half-inch anything you don't nail down. Expensive, polluted, crime-ridden hellhole of a city. Vastly overrated by Brits. You never did get your Equity card, did you Tata? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 2 minutes ago, Frank said: You never did get your Equity card, did you Tata? Non! Quel est? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 So how much did you pay for the bottled water? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 7 minutes ago, Snatch said: So how much did you pay for the bottled water? For you my friend, two Euro. One Euro for the pretty lady. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 27 minutes ago, Fender777 said: Nice one Dan, sounds like you're describing Woolwich. Since when did Woolwich have a pretty bit in the middle? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 Just now, Cuntybaws said: Since when did Woolwich have a pretty bit in the middle? About 45 years ago. I believe it was a Thursday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 1 minute ago, Cuntybaws said: Since when did Woolwich have a pretty bit in the middle? There's the market. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 Just now, Fender777 said: There's the market. Hold the fucking phone!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 34 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said: Ja. Q. Why are the Parisian boulevards lined with trees? A. So that the Germans can march in the shade. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 Paris has got loads of shit hot graffiti though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 1 hour ago, Fender777 said: There's the market. It's not as bad as I remember... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest I know that Cunt Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 You can't get a decent Chicken Jalfrezi in france, gay bastards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 2 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said: Mon dieu! Another attack on the French! Paris is the embodiment of the phrase 'reality failing to meet expectation'. Years of careful conditioning, with portrayal in cutesy films like Amelie, makes everybody think Paris is this wonderfully evocative, romantic and whimsical city where a girl can wander around in a vintage polka dot dress waiting to be swept off your feet by an amorous but sensitive French chap, or where a guy can wander the streets in crisply laundered cotton trousers and straw boater, reading poetry from a book and stopping in to a corner cafe for a quick nip of absinthe and an oggle at a Go-go dancer. Bollocks. Paris is basically a few square miles of pretty city surrounded by a dense doughnut, miles thick, of slums, ghettos, abject poverty, crime and filth. Even the nice bits in the center are a hotbed of pickpockets, thieves and scammers. Any of the major tourist attractions have gangs of Roma literally 'working' the area, with their shitty clipboards and their shitty "Hey mister, speak English? Russian?" chat. All the fucking time. At least they are too thick to realise that their odd 17th Century peasant dresscode makes them stand out a Roma(n) mile. In that fucking awful film, Amelie could fanny around on the steps of the Sacré-Cœur without being hounded for a signature or accidentally stepping on some Moroccan cunt selling key-chains or other assorted tat made from coke cans. She probably never walked into a public bathroom and saw a Somalian chap washing his feet in the toilet bowl either. The only cunts worse than the Roma beggars are the bleeding-heart tourist cunts that actually put their bags and cameras down to fill in the fucking bullshit forms the Roma crowd you with, or who buy water from the shifty Albanian guys on the banks of the Seine and then wonder why they get ill from glugging sewer water drained into a bottle fished out of a bin with the lid superglued back on. There is no undiscovered Paris. There is no rich underbelly to tap into. The popular and pretty sections have been known about for centuries, so you get ripped off if you even breathe in the vicinity of any of them. The rest of Paris is a best-avoided shitheap of concrete jungle and constant muggings. Parisians know they are arrogant, snobby cunts and play up to the stereotype as well. The waiters in even the worst restaurants are rude, patronising dickheads. If you sit outside you have to watch all your belongings like a hawk or some street urchin will come and half-inch anything you don't nail down. Expensive, polluted, crime-ridden hellhole of a city. Vastly overrated by Brits. A informative review TSD. What's you're view on Athens? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 2 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said: Ja. Is that the German high command's 1937 beano to Blackpool? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 1 hour ago, Cuntybaws said: Q. Why are the Parisian boulevards lined with trees? A. So that the Germans can march in the shade. I'll fetch your manteau Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 3 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said: Mon dieu! Another attack on the French! Paris is the embodiment of the phrase 'reality failing to meet expectation'. Years of careful conditioning, with portrayal in cutesy films like Amelie, makes everybody think Paris is this wonderfully evocative, romantic and whimsical city where a girl can wander around in a vintage polka dot dress waiting to be swept off your feet by an amorous but sensitive French chap, or where a guy can wander the streets in crisply laundered cotton trousers and straw boater, reading poetry from a book and stopping in to a corner cafe for a quick nip of absinthe and an oggle at a Go-go dancer. Bollocks. Paris is basically a few square miles of pretty city surrounded by a dense doughnut, miles thick, of slums, ghettos, abject poverty, crime and filth. Even the nice bits in the center are a hotbed of pickpockets, thieves and scammers. Any of the major tourist attractions have gangs of Roma literally 'working' the area, with their shitty clipboards and their shitty "Hey mister, speak English? Russian?" chat. All the fucking time. At least they are too thick to realise that their odd 17th Century peasant dresscode makes them stand out a Roma(n) mile. In that fucking awful film, Amelie could fanny around on the steps of the Sacré-Cœur without being hounded for a signature or accidentally stepping on some Moroccan cunt selling key-chains or other assorted tat made from coke cans. She probably never walked into a public bathroom and saw a Somalian chap washing his feet in the toilet bowl either. The only cunts worse than the Roma beggars are the bleeding-heart tourist cunts that actually put their bags and cameras down to fill in the fucking bullshit forms the Roma crowd you with, or who buy water from the shifty Albanian guys on the banks of the Seine and then wonder why they get ill from glugging sewer water drained into a bottle fished out of a bin with the lid superglued back on. There is no undiscovered Paris. There is no rich underbelly to tap into. The popular and pretty sections have been known about for centuries, so you get ripped off if you even breathe in the vicinity of any of them. The rest of Paris is a best-avoided shitheap of concrete jungle and constant muggings. Parisians know they are arrogant, snobby cunts and play up to the stereotype as well. The waiters in even the worst restaurants are rude, patronising dickheads. If you sit outside you have to watch all your belongings like a hawk or some street urchin will come and half-inch anything you don't nail down. Expensive, polluted, crime-ridden hellhole of a city. Vastly overrated by Brits. May I recommend that next year you holiday in Marrakesh, it really is fucking vile and the food is atrocious........good cunt nomination inspiration though.....good work TSD. I am just surprised that it took you so long to work out that the French are a really horrible and cuntish race, anyone who has been on a beer buying trip to Boulogne or Calais in the eighties or nineties learnt this very rapidly. I only wish Witheredscrotes were alive to defend them but sadly that cunt has croaked it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 10 minutes ago, luke swarm said: May I recommend that next year you holiday in Marrakesh, it really is fucking vile and the food is atrocious........good cunt nomination inspiration though.....good work TSD. I am just surprised that it took you so long to work out that the French are a really horrible and cuntish race, anyone who has been on a beer buying trip to Boulogne or Calais in the eighties or nineties learnt this very rapidly. I only wish Witheredscrotes were alive to defend them but sadly that cunt has croaked it. Sadly.....? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 Just now, Bubba C said: Sadly.....? Apologies, I think this is one instance where a quote change by other members is permissible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 6 minutes ago, luke swarm said: Apologies, I think this is one instance where a quote change by other members is permissible. It rhymes with gladly, so I can forgive your confusion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 3 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: Q. Why are the Parisian boulevards lined with trees? A. So that the Germans can march in the shade. You fucking cunt baws, why is that not on the sicki thread? I'm treading water there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 1 hour ago, luke swarm said: May I recommend that next year you holiday in Marrakesh, it really is fucking vile and the food is atrocious........good cunt nomination inspiration though.....good work TSD. I am just surprised that it took you so long to work out that the French are a really horrible and cuntish race, anyone who has been on a beer buying trip to Boulogne or Calais in the eighties or nineties learnt this very rapidly. I only wish Witheredscrotes were alive to defend them but sadly that cunt has croaked it. Croaked? Really? Did some bird's jealous boyfriend peck the goose shagger's eyes out? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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