Ape™️ Posted September 23, 2016 Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 I watched in utter disbelief tonight as some stupid spacker a few cars in front just sat stationary, unable to proceed due to only having around three foot clearance either side of her (no surprises there) stupid little car. Despite numerous cunts, myself included, sounding their horns, the idiot would not move until the delivery cunt van driver causing the "obstruction" moved off. Punkape doesn't have such problems with his Range Rover since it's a cardboard cutout he holds next to him as he walks / staggers to the off-licence each night for a four pack of Kestrel and a peperamini hot. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 23, 2016 Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 This is, quite frankly, a mental disability. The poor souls have no remedy or recourse. Their cognitive function is fucked, depth perception under developed. I believe Gobbler spent three days trying to reverse out of a McDonald's drive thru after her debit card got declined. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 23, 2016 Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 Every evening without fail, I'll return home to Mrs.D going absolutely fucking apeshit about how she had spent fifteen minutes that morning attempting to navigate off of our drive. The cause of her consternation, is "the menace" who parks his Renault Espace on the roadside opposite our house. Regardless of the fact that he is at least 20 feet away from the driveway, she finds it next to fucking impossible to navigate out without constantly reversing back into the drive and turning the wheel two degrees with each retreat. The stupid cunt gets absolutely apoplectic with rage and has even asked me to "have a word with him". The next time I see him, I'll ask him if he wouldn't mind parking in fucking Kent so my dyspraxic cunt off a wife has enough of a wide berth to leave the house each morning. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 23, 2016 Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 1 minute ago, Decimus said: Every evening without fail, I'll return home to Mrs.D going absolutely fucking apeshit about how she had spent fifteen minutes that morning attempting to navigate off of our drive. The cause of her consternation, is "the menace" who parks his Renault Espace on the roadside opposite our house. Regardless of the fact that he is at least 20 feet away from the driveway, she finds it next to fucking impossible to navigate out without constantly reversing back into the drive and turning the wheel two degrees with each retreat. The stupid cunt gets absolutely apoplectic with rage and has even asked me to "have a word with him". The next time I see him, I'll ask him if he wouldn't mind parking in fucking Kent so my dyspraxic cunt off a wife has enough of a wide berth to leave the house each morning. Get rid of her. Silly bitch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted September 23, 2016 Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 30 minutes ago, Ape said: I watched in utter disbelief tonight as some stupid spacker a few cars in front just sat stationary, unable to proceed due to only having around three foot clearance either side of her (no surprises there) stupid little car. Despite numerous cunts, myself included, sounding their horns, the idiot would not move until the delivery cunt van driver causing the "obstruction" moved off. Punkape doesn't have such problems with his Range Rover since it's a cardboard cutout he holds next to him as he walks / staggers to the off-licence each night for a four pack of Kestrel and a peperamini hot. its not a special awareness issue Ape, its a memory issue. You see this type of cunt that you experienced only has a memory span of approx. 7 seconds. In that time they forget that they have a steering wheel that gives the vehicle the ability to move around obstacles, be they moving or stationary. Unless the direction of vehicle egress is in a straight line, these cunts get confused and their faculties "lock" Also its not exclusively woman, its any cunt who expresses a preference for cars such as the Honda Jazz, Suzuki Swift, Matiz or Toyota Aygo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted September 23, 2016 Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 1 hour ago, Ape said: I watched in utter disbelief tonight as some stupid spacker a few cars in front just sat stationary, unable to proceed due to only having around three foot clearance either side of her (no surprises there) stupid little car. Despite numerous cunts, myself included, sounding their horns, the idiot would not move until the delivery cunt van driver causing the "obstruction" moved off. Punkape doesn't have such problems with his Range Rover since it's a cardboard cutout he holds next to him as he walks / staggers to the off-licence each night for a four pack of Kestrel and a peperamini hot. This is a phenomenon reserved for birds and benders, who are quite simply retarded in the arena of spatial awareness. Without fail, the fucking queens and cunts of the road in either a KA, Fiat 500, or a "powered by fairy dust" pink fucking mini, will drive along with the white-line lane divider perfectly aligned with the centre of their super-jet sized automobiles. Another excellent nom, top work, Ape. All we need now is ding to ruin it with his ever-so fucking shit story about a Range Rover crashing into a hedge near his northern mud-hut. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted September 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 9 minutes ago, Bubba C said: This is a phenomenon reserved for birds and benders, who are quite simply retarded in the arena of spatial awareness. Without fail, the fucking queens and cunts of the road in either a KA, Fiat 500, or a "powered by fairy dust" pink fucking mini, will drive along with the white-line lane divider perfectly aligned with the centre of their super-jet sized automobiles. Another excellent nom, top work, Ape. All we need now is ding to ruin it with his ever-so fucking shit story about a Range Rover crashing into a hedge near his northern mud-hut. I'd prefer it if the Range Rover, instead of crashing into a hedge near his northern mud hut, crashed into his northern mud hut and killed all those within. Ideally Punkape would be at the wheel, with a belly full of fine claret and golfers spunk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted September 23, 2016 Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 6 minutes ago, Ape said: I'd prefer it if the Range Rover, instead of crashing into a hedge near his northern mud hut, crashed into his northern mud hut and killed all those within. Ideally Punkape would be at the wheel, with a belly full of fine claret and golfers spunk. I bet he drinks rosé. And spunk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted September 23, 2016 Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 12 minutes ago, Ape said: I'd prefer it if the Range Rover, instead of crashing into a hedge near his northern mud hut, crashed into his northern mud hut and killed all those within. Ideally Punkape would be at the wheel, with a belly full of fine claret and golfers spunk. good old Ape Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted September 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 2 minutes ago, mothra said: good old Ape Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted September 23, 2016 Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 4 minutes ago, Ape said: Fuck off. that's the spirit Apely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 23, 2016 Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 6 minutes ago, mothra said: that's the spirit Apely. good old franco. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted September 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 13 minutes ago, mothra said: that's the spirit Apely. Cancer! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted September 23, 2016 Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 34 minutes ago, Bubba C said: I bet he drinks rosé. And spunk. I bet you have AIDS...... lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted September 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 Just now, Punkape said: I bet you have AIDS...... lol. That's a fucking terrible thing to say. You take that back right now, you nasty little turd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted September 23, 2016 Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 21 minutes ago, Ape said: That's a fucking terrible thing to say. You take that back right now, you nasty little turd. I'll bet you have AIDS too.... in addition to athletes foot, diphtheria, syphalis and measles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted September 23, 2016 Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 1 hour ago, Ape said: I'd prefer it if the Range Rover, instead of crashing into a hedge near his northern mud hut, crashed into his northern mud hut and killed all those within. Ideally Punkape would be at the wheel, with a belly full of fine claret and golfers spunk. I must apologise profusely, for those round here who actually possess Range Rovers can drive them, usually. We have these things called fields and hills, where they are supposed to be driven, not Sains-fucking-burys car park with noisy bastard brats in tow doing nothing but play loud shitty games on their iPads and walk into my fist, I mean elbow. Punkers is the other side of the country and needs to stay there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted September 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 6 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: I must apologise profusely, for those round here who actually possess Range Rovers can drive them, usually. We have these things called fields and hills, where they are supposed to be driven, not Sains-fucking-burys car park with noisy bastard brats in tow doing nothing but play loud shitty games on their iPads and walk into my fist, I mean elbow. Punkers is the other side of the country and needs to stay there. Ah, I see. Quite a stereotype you're painting there. Surely some of the brats will have Android tablets? The fist / elbow shit is pure fiction. Cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted September 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 17 minutes ago, Punkape said: I'll bet you have AIDS too.... in addition to athletes foot, diphtheria, syphalis and measles. Don't forget tennis elbow and gout. Stupid fucking cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted September 23, 2016 Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 3 minutes ago, Ape said: Ah, I see. Quite a stereotype you're painting there. Surely some of the brats will have Android tablets? The fist / elbow shit is pure fiction. Cunt. Which stereotype would that be? Oh, and I don't shop in Sainsburys. Overpriced shit that is cheaper in other supermarkets for the same product, if I want "extra quality" i would not fucking well go to that shithole, I would go to a proper cheesemongers/butchers/vintners/etc. Buy the cheapest or the best, anything else is just fucking stupid, like you. Spanish Archer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted September 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 1 minute ago, DingTheRioja said: Which stereotype would that be? Oh, and I don't shop in Sainsburys. Overpriced shit that is cheaper in other supermarkets for the same product, if I want "extra quality" i would not fucking well go to that shithole, I would go to a proper cheesemongers/butchers/vintners/etc. Buy the cheapest or the best, anything else is just fucking stupid, like you. Spanish Archer. Fascinating. Your use of bold italics to emphasise the word shithole really packs a punch. The stereotype I was referring to was the use of Range Rovers for the supermarket run. Are you drunk? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted September 23, 2016 Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 Apey you silly dunce, you should have offered help to the lady and maybe got the chat flowing and possible blow job.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 24, 2016 Report Share Posted September 24, 2016 8 hours ago, DingTheRioja said: Which stereotype would that be? Oh, and I don't shop in Sainsburys. Overpriced shit that is cheaper in other supermarkets for the same product, if I want "extra quality" i would not fucking well go to that shithole, I would go to a proper cheesemongers/butchers/vintners/etc. Buy the cheapest or the best, anything else is just fucking stupid, like you. Spanish Archer. As ape has said, it really is fascinating to know your opinion on supermarkets... And wine... And superdry. I know sarcasm doesn't always translate online very well, especially when dealing with an autist. So just to clear it up - shut up ding you boring fucking cunt, nobody gives a fuck, you utter idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted September 24, 2016 Report Share Posted September 24, 2016 8 hours ago, Ape said: Fascinating. Your use of bold italics to emphasise the word shithole really packs a punch. The stereotype I was referring to was the use of Range Rovers for the supermarket run. Are you drunk? 19 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: As ape has said, it really is fascinating to know your opinion on supermarkets... And wine... And superdry. I know sarcasm doesn't always translate online very well, especially when dealing with an autist. So just to clear it up - shut up ding you boring fucking cunt, nobody gives a fuck, you utter idiot. Fucking ace. Pricks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted September 24, 2016 Report Share Posted September 24, 2016 12 hours ago, Decimus said: Every evening without fail, I'll return home to Mrs.D going absolutely fucking apeshit about how she had spent fifteen minutes that morning attempting to navigate off of our drive. The cause of her consternation, is "the menace" who parks his Renault Espace on the roadside opposite our house. Regardless of the fact that he is at least 20 feet away from the driveway, she finds it next to fucking impossible to navigate out without constantly reversing back into the drive and turning the wheel two degrees with each retreat. The stupid cunt gets absolutely apoplectic with rage and has even asked me to "have a word with him". The next time I see him, I'll ask him if he wouldn't mind parking in fucking Kent so my dyspraxic cunt off a wife has enough of a wide berth to leave the house each morning. Next time I'm back I am going to drive round Caister, find a Renault Espace, go to the house opposite, and post one of my turds through the letterbox. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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