ratcum Posted March 18, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 18, 2017 8 hours ago, Roadkill said: Is he government funded or a... private contractor? like any good pickpocket, he's crowd funded Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted March 20, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2017 The other day I ate three big carrots. Never again I tell you. Took fuckin yonks and nearly wore my jaw out. I was fit for nothing afterwards and bloody starving. I nearly turned into a bastard Somalian or something. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted March 21, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 21, 2017 Imagine if you got the words ‘Minister’ and ‘Minster’ mixed up? Before you knew it, scaffolding would appear around your local vicar with stonemasons bolting reconditioned gargoyles to his head. The supervening larks and knockabout jinks would delight even the most dour cancer patient. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted April 11, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 11, 2017 Rat Top Tip Women who wear tons of concealer and foundation: save money by staying at home you disgusting gorgons! ...next week: how to get rid of unwanted step children 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Beast Posted April 30, 2017 Report Share Posted April 30, 2017 At the sweat shop today...... A punter's presenting complaint was logged by the receptionist as "drank bleach". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted May 1, 2017 Report Share Posted May 1, 2017 On 30/04/2017 at 1:18 AM, The Beast said: At the sweat shop today...... A punter's presenting complaint was logged by the receptionist as "drank bleach". You better, fucking well better, promise that the name on the card was Bill or Frank? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 1, 2017 Report Share Posted May 1, 2017 40 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: You better, fucking well better, promise that the name on the card was Bill or Frank? And if that was the case, also promise that the prescribed course of treatment was hydrogen cyanide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted May 24, 2017 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2017 I know no one likes me going normal on here, but today I flew an aircraft with spats. Fuckery barely covers it. Normal PARIS service to be PRAGUE resumed soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 24, 2017 Report Share Posted May 24, 2017 6 minutes ago, ratcum said: I know no one likes me going normal on here, but today I flew an aircraft with spats. Fuckery barely covers it. Normal PARIS service to be PRAGUE resumed soon. Wheel pants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted June 2, 2017 Author Report Share Posted June 2, 2017 I wonder if Ash Wednesday passed without notice in Treblinka? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted June 2, 2017 Report Share Posted June 2, 2017 7 minutes ago, ratcum said: I wonder if Ash Wednesday passed without notice in Treblinka? You just can't help yourself, can you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted June 2, 2017 Author Report Share Posted June 2, 2017 2 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: You just can't help yourself, can you? You're right CB. Ever since I changed my name to Simon Clonby, I've lost all control of these, er,... urges. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted June 3, 2017 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2017 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted June 3, 2017 Report Share Posted June 3, 2017 On 02/06/2017 at 11:42 PM, ratcum said: You're right CB. Ever since I changed my name to Simon Clonby, I've lost all control of these, er,... urges. Shimon? Shome mishtake, shurely? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 3, 2017 Report Share Posted June 3, 2017 10 minutes ago, ratcum said: You certainly are a wow with the third reichs' breeding stock Ratty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted June 3, 2017 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2017 Just now, Cuntybaws said: Shimon? Shome mishtake, shurely? just call me Si Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted June 3, 2017 Report Share Posted June 3, 2017 2 minutes ago, ratcum said: just call me Si Or Sickboy for short. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted June 3, 2017 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2017 1 minute ago, Cuntybaws said: Or Sickboy for short. There's not many a cunt'd be so kind CB. Lemmy bless you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 3, 2017 Report Share Posted June 3, 2017 15 minutes ago, ratcum said: Roops and Pen look radiant 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted June 3, 2017 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2017 16 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Roops and Pen look radiant those boots sent me into orbit on a geyser of splooge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 4, 2017 Report Share Posted June 4, 2017 2 hours ago, ratcum said: those boots sent me into orbit on a geyser of splooge If Neil's seen the picture, god knows when he'll surface. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted June 10, 2017 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2017 If we ever get a female James Bond, we can look forward to some remakes of the classic Bonds. Here are just all of them: 1. Fishfinger 2. The Spy Who Licked Me Ratcum (peace be upon him) and his prophet Jelly Tot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted June 10, 2017 Report Share Posted June 10, 2017 19 minutes ago, ratcum said: If we ever get a female James Bond, we can look forward to some remakes of the classic Bonds. Here are just all of them: 1. Fishfinger 2. The Spy Who Licked Me Ratcum (peace be upon him) and his prophet Jelly Tot 3. Octopus smelling pussy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted June 10, 2017 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2017 1 hour ago, Stubby Pecker said: 3. Octopus smelling pussy 4. A View to a Krill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mingeeta Posted June 10, 2017 Report Share Posted June 10, 2017 10 minutes ago, ratcum said: 4. A View to a Krill Goldenjapseye or thunderballs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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