Witheredscrote Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 10 minutes ago, Frank said: It's over, withers. I am now looking at coffins. I want none of this trendy eco-friendly cardboard shite. I am considering Brazilian Mahogany with a polycarbonate lining and plastic handles. The pillow is to be of finest silk, but manufactured in a Bangladeshi sweat shop. I am to be carried to the crem in a gas guzzling Humvee. You? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 54 minutes ago, witheredscrote said: I am now looking at coffins. I want none of this trendy eco-friendly cardboard shite. I am considering Brazilian Mahogany with a polycarbonate lining and plastic handles. The pillow is to be of finest silk, but manufactured in a Bangladeshi sweat shop. I am to be carried to the crem in a gas guzzling Humvee. You? I'm sure you're considering it. Have you considered you can't afford it though? Truth is you'll end up in an unmarked paupers grave somewhere in Normandy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 2 hours ago, witheredscrote said: I am now looking at coffins. I want none of this trendy eco-friendly cardboard shite. I am considering Brazilian Mahogany with a polycarbonate lining and plastic handles. The pillow is to be of finest silk, but manufactured in a Bangladeshi sweat shop. I am to be carried to the crem in a gas guzzling Humvee. You? You cunt. Denying us the pleasure of carrying you to your final resting place. Silver bullets, a cross through the heart and all the trimmings just in case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 6 minutes ago, Manky said: Silver bullets, a cross through the heart and all the trimmings just in case. He already absolutely fucking stinks of garlic, so there's no need to bring any of that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 14 minutes ago, Decimus said: He already absolutely fucking stinks of garlic, so there's no need to bring any of that. Stick a bar of soap in if the rest of La Republique are anything to go by. Draped in the French battle colours, or a white sheet as we call it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 1 minute ago, Manky said: Stick a bar of soap in if the rest of La Republique are anything to go by. Draped in the French battle colours, or a white sheet as we call it. Chuck a bar of soap in and the cunt would jump out the coffin, dead or not! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 3 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: Chuck a bar of soap in and the cunt would jump out the coffin, dead or not! I have a good as new French WW2 rifle to put in. Never fired, dropped once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 Just now, Manky said: I have a good as new French WW2 rifle to put in. Never fired, dropped once. I've got a full crate, unopened, with a gingham picnic rug on it still Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 14 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: Chuck a bar of soap in and the cunt would jump out the coffin, dead or not! DingLeChien. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 9 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said: Is that all it would take Quince? I had you down as a bit harder than that. You've practically sunken to punky's level of desperation. However, I do have to say that these cretins that go around saying "WE'RE preggers" do need to be castrated with a hot rusty spoon! WE are not pregnant you soppy fucking wanker, SHE is, and you better find out who the fucking father is straight away. Is that all? All? Are you insane? It is the only thing that would induce me to suck on a shotguns dick. I take it you do not have kids already? Anyone that has 3 is fucked unless they are minted enough to have all the staff and the space. Everyone I know with 3, when asked "how are things", make this identical pained, tight round the eyes look that says to me " my wife is a fucking horror from the pit, and my 3 kids are utter shits beyond belief, and I wish I was dead/never born". Fuck that shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 1 hour ago, Decimus said: DingLeChien. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 3 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Is that all? All? Are you insane? It is the only thing that would induce me to suck on a shotguns dick. I take it you do not have kids already? Anyone that has 3 is fucked unless they are minted enough to have all the staff and the space. Everyone I know with 3, when asked "how are things", make this identical pained, tight round the eyes look that says to me " my wife is a fucking horror from the pit, and my 3 kids are utter shits beyond belief, and I wish I was dead/never born". Fuck that shit. I had three of the cunts but they all grew up sufficiently to fuck off so, in the same way in which women forget how fucking painful and horrible childbirth is, I have nothing but fond memories of the little cherubs now. I'd like to know where my bank manager got that fucking Ferrari from, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Piston Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 7 hours ago, Frank said: It's over, withers. The years have not been kind to poor old Mr Potato Head http://www.cuntscorner.com/index.php?/profile/9076-frank/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 1 hour ago, Piston said: The years have not been kind to poor old Mr Potato Head http://www.cuntscorner.com/index.php?/profile/9076-frank/ hhis profile changes over time is like Saddam Hussain from preened despot, to prison, to ballast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted September 10, 2016 Report Share Posted September 10, 2016 On 08/09/2016 at 9:54 PM, mothra said: but he allowed Philip Green to be born? This is a trap isn't it? While browsing randomly I chanced upon a reference to SPG which made me chuckle. “Philip Green possesses an appearance so darkly befitting a caricature that one might see it, like the stripes of a wasp, as a warning from Nature itself.“ I wish you'd said that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted September 10, 2016 Report Share Posted September 10, 2016 On 10/09/2016 at 10:59 AM, Cuntybaws said: While browsing randomly I chanced upon a reference to SPG which made me chuckle. “Philip Green possesses an appearance so darkly befitting a caricature that one might see it, like the stripes of a wasp, as a warning from Nature itself.“ I wish you'd said that. that's fuckin brilliant CB!! I don't suppose you've still got the url? I want to pay may respects to this cove. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ahriman Posted September 10, 2016 Report Share Posted September 10, 2016 On 09/09/2016 at 11:09 AM, witheredscrote said: I am now looking at coffins. I want none of this trendy eco-friendly cardboard shite. I am considering Brazilian Mahogany with a polycarbonate lining and plastic handles. The pillow is to be of finest silk, but manufactured in a Bangladeshi sweat shop. I am to be carried to the crem in a gas guzzling Humvee. You? A hole in the ground will do me just fine. That way, when the zombie apocalypse hits, they'll be nothing stopping me from rising from my deathly slumber and munching on Punkapes thick fucking skull. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted September 11, 2016 Report Share Posted September 11, 2016 19 hours ago, Agentpeanut said: A hole in the ground will do me just fine. That way, when the zombie apocalypse hits, they'll be nothing stopping me from rising from my deathly slumber and munching on Punkapes thick fucking skull. You might want to start preserving and caring for those teeth, then. That is one very thick skull, and you still might need to use a power tool to crack the fucker for the small gooey reward waiting inside. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted September 11, 2016 Report Share Posted September 11, 2016 7 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: You might want to start preserving and caring for those teeth, then. That is one very thick skull, and you still might need to use a power tool to crack the fucker for the small gooey reward waiting inside. A Werthers Original? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted September 11, 2016 Report Share Posted September 11, 2016 Just now, DingTheRioja said: A Werthers Original? Only smaller. I should think something more like a paintball filled with self-replicating rentboy semen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted September 11, 2016 Report Share Posted September 11, 2016 1 hour ago, Wizardsleeve said: Only smaller. I should think something more like a paintball filled with self-replicating rentboy semen. Not sure it needs to be self-replicating, the amount he ingests on a daily basis.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted September 12, 2016 Report Share Posted September 12, 2016 On 09/09/2016 at 0:01 PM, Frank said: It's over, withers. Frank, Frank, are you still with us. Wiggle your big toe or something. Let us know, we are all concerned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 12, 2016 Report Share Posted September 12, 2016 (edited) 2 minutes ago, witheredscrote said: Frank, Frank, are you still with us. Wiggle your big toe or something. Let us know, we are all concerned. Withers, I had stuffed peppers and garlic potatoes last night, and now my shit absolutely fucking stinks. Edited September 12, 2016 by Decimus Checking in with Withers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted September 12, 2016 Report Share Posted September 12, 2016 13 minutes ago, Decimus said: Withers, I had stuffed peppers and garlic potatoes last night, and now my shit absolutely fucking stinks. I went a bit more traditional at a French restaurant in Norwich hier soir. A filet mignon with cream sauce. This morning I farted and it smelt like the dog's Kennomeat. Are you concerned about Fwank? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 12, 2016 Report Share Posted September 12, 2016 53 minutes ago, witheredscrote said: Are you concerned about Fwank? I am concerned. Concerned that he might still be alive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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