Dyslexic cnut Posted May 21, 2023 Report Share Posted May 21, 2023 On 16/05/2023 at 15:56, Last Cunt Standing said: In yet more proof that the Arseholes are in charge of bloody everything these days, the latest squad sheet issued by those idiots at the Exceptionally Cuntish Brigade is truly a sight to behold. We first have the news that Ben Foakes, the best keeper in England and possibly number one gloveman in the world the past 18 months, has been dropped not just from the team but the entire squad. Zak Crawley, who as early contributors note can barely find the crease much less the boundary, is assured of his place for another summer, in no way the result of taking Key’s old locker at Kent and whose father is Fatboy’s regular golf chum. Taking the gloves is the returning Jonny Bairstow, whose batting career has flourished since he gave up the dual role of wicketkeeper batsman, after all who wouldn’t want the YJB of 2017 rather than 2022? Archer is out with his elbow just for a change, but hope springs eternal that he might rise like Lazarus come the winter, when we all know he needs a metaphorical bolt through the forehead. Jimmy, rather than being preserved in aspic, gets the chance to pull his groin properly just in time for the Ashes by slamming down some seaming fizzers against the fucking Micks (no offence, @PANZER MURPHY). Leach, still dining out on his 2019 forward defensive, gets another go to see if he can spin the ball more than about four-fifths of a degree, and the less said about Dan fucking Lawrence the better. Rob Key wants the fucking blunt end of a stump forced roughly up his urethra for coming up with this shit, the drawling laconic Cunt. In entirely unrelated events I’ve had to put with Nathan Lyon all over my telly tonight saying the Aussies can win 5-0 and that these latest changes show England’s selection policy is “uncertain”. I nearly choked on my Tim Tam, the cheeky Cunt. @Stubby Pecker, what say you? I’m glad you’ve fucked off from our NHS, Doc. Surely it’s ‘down’ the urethra? Malpractice quack cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted May 21, 2023 Report Share Posted May 21, 2023 3 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said: I’m glad you’ve fucked off from our NHS, Doc. Surely it’s ‘down’ the urethra? Malpractice quack cunt. An interesting semantic point, which I suppose must depend on the angle of the dangle. I hadn’t factored on being sounded with a cricket stump being an arousing thought for the man in question. Here I would have to bow to your expertise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted May 21, 2023 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2023 On 20/05/2023 at 13:24, Eric Cuntman said: Nice to see you Ted. Been on holiday? He's just got back from Turkey, prison probably. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted May 21, 2023 Report Share Posted May 21, 2023 1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said: An interesting semantic point, which I suppose must depend on the angle of the dangle. I hadn’t factored on being sounded with a cricket stump being an arousing thought for the man in question. Here I would have to bow to your expertise. Pen is the man for this discussion. You clearly weren’t a urologist? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 21, 2023 Report Share Posted May 21, 2023 1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said: An interesting semantic point, which I suppose must depend on the angle of the dangle. I hadn’t factored on being sounded with a cricket stump being an arousing thought for the man in question. Here I would have to bow to your expertise. ‘angle of the dangle’. You’ve adjusted the ignition timing on a Ducellier distributor haven’t you? Or it might be about cocks. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 21, 2023 Report Share Posted May 21, 2023 13 minutes ago, Jake The Muss said: He's just got back from Turkey, prison probably. Tednight Express 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted May 21, 2023 Report Share Posted May 21, 2023 2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: You’ve adjusted the ignition timing on a Ducellier distributor haven’t you? Retarded it I would think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted May 21, 2023 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2023 2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Tednight Express Proper film-making, who can forget the jerking off scene with his birds tits pressed up against the window. What was the film about ? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 21, 2023 Report Share Posted May 21, 2023 Just now, Jake The Muss said: Proper film-making, who can forget the jerking off scene with his birds tits pressed up against the window. What was the film about ? A train I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted May 21, 2023 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2023 1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said: A train I think. A bit like Thomas the tank engine then...but with tits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 1 hour ago, Jake The Muss said: A bit like Thomas the tank engine then...but with tits. Yeah. There were definitely tits.. pressed against glass. That must’ve been a carriage partition. There was some stuff with a load of scruffy prisoners wandering about like mongs, but I think that was just a surreal, artistic bit, like when ‘Elephant Head’ sings in ‘The Young Ones’. Not important to the story. Which was definitely about tits. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 10 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said: Pen is the man for this discussion. You clearly weren’t a urologist? No. To both suggestions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 10 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: ‘angle of the dangle’. You’ve adjusted the ignition timing on a Ducellier distributor haven’t you? Or it might be about cocks. Cocks, Eric. Caucasian ones though, so don’t get all antsy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 52 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Cocks, Eric. Caucasian ones though, so don’t get all antsy. They’re still cocks. I suppose it’s a step in the right direction though. One day you may be able to look at all ten Rorschach cards and see at least one butterfly. Don’t give up.👍🏻 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 22 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: They’re still cocks. I suppose it’s a step in the right direction though. One day you may be able to look at all ten Rorschach cards and see at least one butterfly. Don’t give up.👍🏻 I much prefer the Ishihara plates, Eric. There’s a neat little in-joke in there if you can find it. Alan Turing-Baws @Cuntybaws will no doubt crack my code if you’re struggling 😀. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said: I much prefer the Ishihara plates, Eric. There’s a neat little in-joke in there if you can find it. Alan Turing-Baws @Cuntybaws will no doubt crack my code if you’re struggling 😀. It’s not complicated to bridge the gap between your obsession with interracial relationships and colour blindness. I’m sure you think I’m thick. Although the term ‘hidden digit’ better suits proctology than optometry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 42 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: It’s not complicated to bridge the gap between your obsession with interracial relationships and colour blindness. I’m sure you think I’m thick. Although the term ‘hidden digit’ better suits proctology than optometry. Not at all Eric. Our conversations away from the public forum tell me you’re no dunce. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 14 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Not at all Eric. Our conversations away from the public forum tell me you’re no dunce. I’ve read books too. Not just Argos catalogues and weapons manuals. Proper ones with stories. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I’ve read books too. Not just Argos catalogues and weapons manuals. Proper ones with stories. I’ve never underestimated your intelligence. Perhaps not quite an academic, but you’re certainly on par with the Eddies and Scottys of the world. I’m a fan, for sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 34 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I’ve read books too. Not just Argos catalogues and weapons manuals. Proper ones with stories. Well quite. If ever I want an independent view on whether the US M67 or Australian F1 is the best hand grenade, which oddly dominated my boozy lunch with friends today, I know where to come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 5 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: No. To both suggestions. However, occasionally you are a dick, Doc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 2 hours ago, Frank said: I’ve never underestimated your intelligence. Perhaps not quite an academic, but you’re certainly on par with the Eddies and Scottys of the world. I’m a fan, for sure. I’d fuck you on a scrabble board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 4 hours ago, Frank said: I’ve never underestimated your intelligence. Perhaps not quite an academic, but you’re certainly on par with the Eddies and Scottys of the world. I’m a fan, for sure. You sly cunt, as you know I'm as thick as cow shit, stop insulting Eric, poofter. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted May 22, 2023 Report Share Posted May 22, 2023 4 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: I’d fuck you on a scrabble board. A Twister mat would be more Franks style. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted May 23, 2023 Report Share Posted May 23, 2023 On 22/05/2023 at 14:13, Frank said: I’ve never underestimated your intelligence. Perhaps not quite an academic, but you’re certainly on par with the Eddies and Scottys of the world. I’m a fan, for sure. https://ibb.co/kBX8VPv 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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