Guest luke swarm Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 2 hours ago, Alfie Fucking Noakes said: 500kb is fuck all in this day and age. Get a 21st century computer admin. You need to replace the zx81 that you are running this on. 1 hour ago, Snatch said: Maybe the new owner will be running windows 98. Let's hope it's not a Mac,that would make him a real cunt. Chaps...its best to leave this type of IT "humour" to the experts in unfunny humour.........I can imagine the MODs have a bit of a chuckle but every other cunt on here just looks at it and frowns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 14 minutes ago, luke swarm said: Chaps...its best to leave this type of IT "humour" to the experts in unfunny humour.........I can imagine the MODs have a bit of a chuckle but every other cunt on here just looks at it and frowns. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 5 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: no idea what this is CB ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 37 minutes ago, luke swarm said: no idea what this is CB ? It's Richmond, the basement-dwelling computer engineer from the IT Crowd, accidentally walking into a beam of sunlight. Richmond. Rick? I wonder... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 4 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: It's Richmond, the basement-dwelling computer engineer from the IT Crowd, accidentally walking into a beam of sunlight. Richmond. Rick? I wonder... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 2 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: I liked the IT Crowd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 2 hours ago, DingTheRioja said: Stupid fucking autistic mong with learning difficulties and who's devoid of humour. I'd like to fix you. With a nail-gun through your eyeballs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 1 hour ago, Bubba C said: Stupid fucking autistic mong with learning difficulties and who's devoid of humour. I'd like to fix you. With a nail-gun through your eyeballs. Go on, just say it, you love me don't you? ? ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 On 6/11/2016 at 10:24 AM, ConcernedbutPowerless said: Morning all. I'd like to nominate the execrable programmes that ITV (sponsored by fucked UK economy reliant on consumerism) puts on every weekday. For example, I had a day off yesterday and the wife insisted on watching Lorraine. Just five minutes of that sycophantic babbling Scottish witch was akin to being lobotomised. She is so fake and all she does is fawns over guests and spouts 'that's great' and 'oh I love that'. Don't get me started on her obsequious underlings such as fat, teeth bleacher Dan Wootton; that little ugly troll bloke who does the 'fashion' needs a cunning of his own too. Utter unchallenging, brain dead crap with endless ad breaks and cynical competitions. Sounds like you really enjoyed your morning's TV pleasure viewing but alas i have the answer for you, if you have a shed with some tools in it. Go and get yourself a claw hammer and smash the granny out of that shitcunt box and if your wife has a go at you then plant one on her bonce..Job Done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 26, 2019 Report Share Posted October 26, 2019 Lorraine Kelly is a smug faced, my shit doesn’t stink, mumsy-titted increasingly-haggard Scottish everywoman whose only meagre talent when she started out on TV-am was being “nice”. As she’s aged and widened she’s moved on to hosting talk shows for scum, hawking slimming pills, and shilling up-to-size-32 ”fashion” catalogues and “style” products to the terminally tasteless. (It was just such an advert that sparked this post.) If a society gets the celebrities it deserves, then we must all have all done something very bad in a previous life. Slavery, probably. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 26, 2019 Report Share Posted October 26, 2019 4 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: Lorraine Kelly is a smug faced, my shit doesn’t stink, mumsy-titted increasingly-haggard Scottish everywoman whose only meagre talent when she started out on TV-am was being “nice”. As she’s aged and widened she’s moved on to hosting talk shows for scum, hawking slimming pills, and shilling up-to-size-32 ”fashion” catalogues and “style” products to the terminally tasteless. (It was just such an advert that sparked this post.) If a society gets the celebrities it deserves, then we must all have all done something very bad in a previous life. Slavery, probably. Aw, she's luvverly! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted October 26, 2019 Report Share Posted October 26, 2019 9 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: Lorraine Kelly is a smug faced, my shit doesn’t stink, mumsy-titted increasingly-haggard Scottish everywoman whose only meagre talent when she started out on TV-am was being “nice”. As she’s aged and widened she’s moved on to hosting talk shows for scum, hawking slimming pills, and shilling up-to-size-32 ”fashion” catalogues and “style” products to the terminally tasteless. (It was just such an advert that sparked this post.) If a society gets the celebrities it deserves, then we must all have all done something very bad in a previous life. Slavery, probably. The public wants what the public gets. The moronic cunts who watch this shite lap it like like a poof laps up jiz from his multiple partners japs eye. Why this type of for the masses tripe should even enter the consciousness of the mildly intelligent is beyond me. These days there's an almost infinite range of entertainment one can indulge in that doesn't involve watching ITV. Baws, get a grip you daft soppy cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted October 27, 2019 Report Share Posted October 27, 2019 17 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: Lorraine Kelly is a smug faced, my shit doesn’t stink, mumsy-titted increasingly-haggard Scottish everywoman whose only meagre talent when she started out on TV-am was being “nice”. As she’s aged and widened she’s moved on to hosting talk shows for scum, hawking slimming pills, and shilling up-to-size-32 ”fashion” catalogues and “style” products to the terminally tasteless. (It was just such an advert that sparked this post.) If a society gets the celebrities it deserves, then we must all have all done something very bad in a previous life. Slavery, probably. Is she Dundee or Dundee United though, Baws? I suspect rather like Cilla Black she is one of those fabled ITV stars with a regional accent who would rather drink battery acid than spend any longer than seconds near the very people who idolise her as “just like us”. Take the regular makeover segments with that rancid little poof, for example, dripping with insincerity as she eulogises over the fashion offerings of ASDA. Fuck off, love. She lives a very comfortable top 1% existence no doubt - vis her daughter twatting about in Singapore working for charidee - and wouldn’t last five minutes on the skag-ridden East Glasgow council estate she could have ended up on if STV had picked some other lucky Doris. What I’d like to know is did she ever fuck Mr Motivator and if so what has he done with the sex tape? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted October 27, 2019 Report Share Posted October 27, 2019 I often wondered what happened to Keith 'Cheggars' Chegwin, rumour had it he'd succumbed to alcoholism. I then joined the Corner, and realized he'd just reinvented himself as Punkape. Due to them both being painfully unfunny cunts of the highest order who I'd like to punch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 27, 2019 Report Share Posted October 27, 2019 13 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said: The public wants what the public gets. These days there's an almost infinite range of entertainment one can indulge in that doesn't involve watching ITV. Baws, get a grip you daft soppy cunt I don't watch ITV. The football was on Sky (yes, I know) and there was a "Wayfair" advert at half-time. I don't get what this society wants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 27, 2019 Report Share Posted October 27, 2019 6 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Is she Dundee or Dundee United though, Baws? Dundee Utd, the filthy tangerine cunt. To her eternal credit she once pissed off Piers Morgan by telling him she'd be supporting Iceland instead of England. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted October 27, 2019 Report Share Posted October 27, 2019 Yer not one of billos tribe are ya baws baby? Panzermurphybaby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 27, 2019 Report Share Posted October 27, 2019 16 minutes ago, PANZER MURPHY said: Yer not one of billos tribe are ya baws baby? I'm going to go with a "no" here, although in truth I haven't got the faintest notion what you're actually talking about. Speak English, boy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted October 27, 2019 Report Share Posted October 27, 2019 Kang billos mob..ya know the ones im talking about...have a insatiable love of pallets n car tyres..love flegs n marchin down the queens highway and all that..they support soldier F although in reality solider F could do without their support..that lot Panzermurphybaby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 27, 2019 Report Share Posted October 27, 2019 13 minutes ago, PANZER MURPHY said: Kang billos mob..ya know the ones im talking about...have a insatiable love of pallets n car tyres..love flegs n marchin down the queens highway and all that..they support soldier F although in reality solider F could do without their support..that lot Slightly better, I suppose, and it's still a "no". In the words of the old Scottish football song which was recently banned for being "sectarian", even though it's the exact opposite: Hello, hello, how do you do, We hate the boys in royal blue, We hate the boys in emerald green, So fuck the Pope and fuck the Queen. (To the tune of "The Red Flag") Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted October 28, 2019 Report Share Posted October 28, 2019 On 27/10/2019 at 12:00, Cuntybaws said: To her eternal credit she once pissed off Piers Morgan by telling him she'd be supporting Iceland Surely with the money she's making she would be supporting M&S! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 28, 2019 Report Share Posted October 28, 2019 1 hour ago, Joker said: Surely with the money she's making she would be supporting M&S! I normally tolerate Aspies as well as the next man, which isn't saying much on here, but I am beginning to weary of the constant exposure to that pig tailed, hemp-wearing, hectoring sulk-child in your current signature. Kindly replace it with the naked lady of your choice, for old time's sake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted October 28, 2019 Report Share Posted October 28, 2019 On 26/10/2019 at 13:27, Cuntybaws said: Lorraine Kelly is a smug faced, my shit doesn’t stink, mumsy-titted increasingly-haggard Scottish everywoman whose only meagre talent when she started out on TV-am was being “nice”. As she’s aged and widened she’s moved on to hosting talk shows for scum, hawking slimming pills, and shilling up-to-size-32 ”fashion” catalogues and “style” products to the terminally tasteless. (It was just such an advert that sparked this post.) If a society gets the celebrities it deserves, then we must all have all done something very bad in a previous life. Slavery, probably. In almost every facet, I'd agree, except for this long ago memory of her, 'fessing up live on Morning TV, that in her youth she enjoyed outdoor sex (can't remember who with or its organic status) whacked out of her gourd on Amyl Nitrate. Yeah, I know - pause a second in the hope you've not just lost your dinner all over the monitor, imagining up that horrendous spectacle. Still - a bit of a sort 'eh, even if it was a long time ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted October 29, 2019 Report Share Posted October 29, 2019 19 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: I normally tolerate Aspies as well as the next man, which isn't saying much on here, but I am beginning to weary of the constant exposure to that pig tailed, hemp-wearing, hectoring sulk-child in your current signature. Kindly replace it with the naked lady of your choice, for old time's sake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted October 30, 2019 Report Share Posted October 30, 2019 On 27/10/2019 at 23:25, Cuntybaws said: Slightly better, I suppose, and it's still a "no". In the words of the old Scottish football song which was recently banned for being "sectarian", even though it's the exact opposite: Hello, hello, how do you do, We hate the boys in royal blue, We hate the boys in emerald green, So fuck the Pope and fuck the Queen. (To the tune of "The Red Flag") I’m sure I heard this at a Patrick Thistle game once. The vagaries of Scottish football were a total fucking mystery to me during my brief stay up there 25 years ago, except that Sportscene with Dougie Donnelly seemed to be filmed in someone’s garden shed. I liked “We’ll be comin down the road” more; the implied threat being much more in keeping with the average Aberdeen fan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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