Guest ConcernedbutPowerless Posted June 11, 2016 Report Share Posted June 11, 2016 Morning all. I'd like to nominate the execrable programmes that ITV (sponsored by fucked UK economy reliant on consumerism) puts on every weekday. For example, I had a day off yesterday and the wife insisted on watching Lorraine. Just five minutes of that sycophantic babbling Scottish witch was akin to being lobotomised. She is so fake and all she does is fawns over guests and spouts 'that's great' and 'oh I love that'. Don't get me started on her obsequious underlings such as fat, teeth bleacher Dan Wootton; that little ugly troll bloke who does the 'fashion' needs a cunning of his own too. Utter unchallenging, brain dead crap with endless ad breaks and cynical competitions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted June 11, 2016 Report Share Posted June 11, 2016 Morning Proper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted June 11, 2016 Report Share Posted June 11, 2016 Not as good as it used to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted June 11, 2016 Report Share Posted June 11, 2016 To be fair, look at ITV's daytime target audience. 1) The unemployed/unemployable 2) Students 3) Diazepam injecting housewives 4) The elderly 5) Poofs/Judge/Frank 6) Phil fucking Schofield's Mam 7) The depressed 8) Salesmen in Curry's 9) People with no arms or legs 10) Glue sniffing, dirty little cottagers eg Spunkers. With an audience of cunts like that to play to, why fucking try? So, they do reports on what factor sun- cream has fewest calories, which cucumber works best with skinny jeans, a serious interview with a rape victim. Then an orange poof will review Hollyoakes, an over the top big-titted black lady with a shit regional accent will introduce a vox pops section on the price of cheese. This is why God gave us the internet. So we could watch porn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted June 11, 2016 Report Share Posted June 11, 2016 6 hours ago, Ollyboro said: To be fair, look at ITV's daytime target audience. 1) The unemployed/unemployable 2) Students 3) Diazepam injecting housewives 4) The elderly 5) Poofs/Judge/Frank 6) Phil fucking Schofield's Mam 7) The depressed 8) Salesmen in Curry's 9) People with no arms or legs 10) Glue sniffing, dirty little cottagers eg Spunkers. With an audience of cunts like that to play to, why fucking try? So, they do reports on what factor sun- cream has fewest calories, which cucumber works best with skinny jeans, a serious interview with a rape victim. Then an orange poof will review Hollyoakes, an over the top big-titted black lady with a shit regional accent will introduce a vox pops section on the price of cheese. This is why God gave us the internet. So we could watch porn. I'm not quite sure if God approves of that type of porn though... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 11, 2016 Report Share Posted June 11, 2016 Lorraine? Oooooh she's luvverly she is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted June 11, 2016 Report Share Posted June 11, 2016 3 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Lorraine? Oooooh she's luvverly she is. The amount of times I've seen the crap she spouts about "how to lose weight easily" it's fucking ridiculous... why would anyone listen to her with her fucking yoyo scales? STOP PUTTING THE FUCKING WEIGHT ON IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU STUPID BINT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 11, 2016 Report Share Posted June 11, 2016 7 hours ago, Ollyboro said: To be fair, look at ITV's daytime target audience. 1) The unemployed/unemployable 2) Students 3) Diazepam injecting housewives 4) The elderly 5) Poofs/Judge/Frank 6) Phil fucking Schofield's Mam 7) The depressed 8) Salesmen in Curry's 9) People with no arms or legs 10) Glue sniffing, dirty little cottagers eg Spunkers. With an audience of cunts like that to play to, why fucking try? So, they do reports on what factor sun- cream has fewest calories, which cucumber works best with skinny jeans, a serious interview with a rape victim. Then an orange poof will review Hollyoakes, an over the top big-titted black lady with a shit regional accent will introduce a vox pops section on the price of cheese. This is why God gave us the internet. So we could watch porn. It makes me laugh when they give you perfectly obvious advice "Now remember in hot weather drink plenty of water". "Remember, in this very cold weather remember to wrap up warm". Wankers! Except Lorraine because she's brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 11, 2016 Report Share Posted June 11, 2016 52 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: The amount of times I've seen the crap she spouts about "how to lose weight easily" it's fucking ridiculous... why would anyone listen to her with her fucking yoyo scales? STOP PUTTING THE FUCKING WEIGHT ON IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU STUPID BINT! Yeah but the difference with her is that she puts on 3Ibs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted June 11, 2016 Report Share Posted June 11, 2016 (edited) 19 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: It makes me laugh when they give you perfectly obvious advice "Now remember in hot weather drink plenty of water". "Remember, in this very cold weather remember to wrap up warm". Wankers! Except Lorraine because she's brilliant. Remember their audience needs advice like that. I bet there's loads of ITV daytime viewers who died of heatstroke, wearing a woolie onesie, the day they had to miss the programme due to signing on commitments. You're wrong about Lorraine. She's not the main problem, but definitely not part of the solution. Edited June 11, 2016 by Ollyboro Stoned Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted June 11, 2016 Report Share Posted June 11, 2016 57 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Yeah but the difference with her is that she puts on 3Ibs. Well she's hiding that 3lb very well, behind that extra 2 stone... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 11, 2016 Report Share Posted June 11, 2016 6 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: Well she's hiding that 3lb very well, behind that extra 2 stone... Miow! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted June 11, 2016 Report Share Posted June 11, 2016 2 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: Lorraine? Oooooh she's luvverly she is. I wonder if her growler is as hairy as Bo Selector made out it was? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted June 12, 2016 Report Share Posted June 12, 2016 16 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: Lorraine? Oooooh she's luvverly she is. She is a oddly shaped, Scottish menopausal cunt, only second in the itv jock cunt stakes to the botox loving, shaved chested, unbuttoned shirt wearing, bleached teeth, celebrity worshiping Scottish cunt Ross King. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted June 12, 2016 Report Share Posted June 12, 2016 Here's a question for the Corner. Is your regional weathercunt a poof? The regular one we have on the Beeb's North East news isn't. He's a pudding faced Jock of indeterminate personal hygiene. But the rest of them.....Fuck me! The cunts might as well be telling me the weather's going to be shit in fucking gimp masks. ITV in particular has a never ending fucking supply of burgundy shirt sporting bowel botherers. Top button undone, they all seem to share the same set of whitewashed teeth and jizz based moisturiser. The thing is, I've witnessed most local telly and it appears these mid-20's clones are fucking everywhere. Unless it's the same poof stalking me via the medium of televised meteorology. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted June 15, 2016 Report Share Posted June 15, 2016 On 12/06/2016 at 10:21 AM, Ollyboro said: Here's a question for the Corner. Is your regional weathercunt a poof? The regular one we have on the Beeb's North East news isn't. He's a pudding faced Jock of indeterminate personal hygiene. But the rest of them.....Fuck me! The cunts might as well be telling me the weather's going to be shit in fucking gimp masks. ITV in particular has a never ending fucking supply of burgundy shirt sporting bowel botherers. Top button undone, they all seem to share the same set of whitewashed teeth and jizz based moisturiser. The thing is, I've witnessed most local telly and it appears these mid-20's clones are fucking everywhere. Unless it's the same poof stalking me via the medium of televised meteorology. Who's that annoying little welsh cunt? Owen something...? Edit : Owain Wyn Evans .... on the left... guess who's on the right? Or offensive immigrants? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 On 11/06/2016 at 10:43 AM, Cuntybaws said: Not as good as it used to be. Is that Telly Savalas? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 8 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: Is that Telly Savalas? Serious one ,camp one ,slutty one ,chubby one ,sporty one ,weird one,specky one,pornstar one ... some things never change Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 On 11 June 2016 at 10:24 AM, ConcernedbutPowerless said: Morning all. I'd like to nominate the execrable programmes that ITV (sponsored by fucked UK economy reliant on consumerism) puts on every weekday. For example, I had a day off yesterday and the wife insisted on watching Lorraine. Just five minutes of that sycophantic babbling Scottish witch was akin to being lobotomised. She is so fake and all she does is fawns over guests and spouts 'that's great' and 'oh I love that'. Don't get me started on her obsequious underlings such as fat, teeth bleacher Dan Wootton; that little ugly troll bloke who does the 'fashion' needs a cunning of his own too. Utter unchallenging, brain dead crap with endless ad breaks and cynical competitions. The great days of proper news presenters has gone. Reginald Bosanquet, Gordon Honeycombe, Kenneth Kendal and Sandy Gall. All public school educated and most importantly easily understood but with gravitas. Now we have a bunch of preening, over sympathetic and posturing fuckwits shored up by regional spastic presenters and faggoty weathermen...... Cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 7 minutes ago, Punkape said: The great days of proper news presenters has gone. Reginald Bosanquet, Gordon Honeycombe, Kenneth Kendal and Sandy Gall. All public school educated and most importantly easily understood but with Gravitas. Now we have a bunch of preening, over sympathetic and posturing fuckwits shored up by regional spastic presenters and faggoty weathermen...... Cunts. Forgive me fellow members, ostracize me if you wish, but I agree with Punkers. The newsreaders of today with their ' scenes that might upset some viewers ', and 'the following report contains flashing images '. Fuck off. Naga Mumbling Munchetty is a cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 When I'm watching a live news feed featuring breaking news regarding another terrorist attack, I want dignity and gravitas. What I don't want is some disgusting provincial cunt garbling along in a uncouth regional northern accent that requires the use of subtitles to fully understand. We're one step away from Manky hosting the pride of Britain awards. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 STV weatherman Sean Batty (a clue in the name there?) has been described as a “cult favourite” at the Scottish station. This may be a misspelling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 1 hour ago, Punkape said: The great days of proper news presenters has gone. Reginald Bosanquet, Gordon Honeycombe, Kenneth Kendal and Sandy Gall. All public school educated and most importantly easily understood but with gravitas. Now we have a bunch of preening, over sympathetic and posturing fuckwits shored up by regional spastic presenters and faggoty weathermen...... Cunts. News reading now is like watching a fucking tag team at work. One starts a sentence and the other finishes it off. I remember the days of Gordon Honeypot and Andrew Gardner speed reading from a sheet of paper the news as it was. No fucking unfunny bullshit from them. They were newsreaders and not comedians. All we ever wanted was the news told to us by some hard faced bastard who only smiled when they bid us "goodnight". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 29 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: News reading now is like watching a fucking tag team at work. One starts a sentence and the other finishes it off. I remember the days of Gordon Honeypot and Andrew Gardner speed reading from a sheet of paper the news as it was. No fucking unfunny bullshit from them. They were newsreaders and not comedians. All we ever wanted was the news told to us by some hard faced bastard who only smiled when they bid us "goodnight". or they finished up with some "light news" about some charity volunteer or fluffy kittens being everyones' favourite pet.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 2 hours ago, witheredscrote said: Forgive me fellow members, ostracize me if you wish, but I agree with Punkers. The newsreaders of today with their ' scenes that might upset some viewers ', and 'the following report contains flashing images '. Fuck off. Naga Mumbling Munchetty is a cunt. one is allowed to err just the once Scrotes...please do not agree with the stupid cocksmoking cockwipe that is Pinkape ever again even if you are being tortured in the CC dungeons by a hot poker wielding Roopster. Now.......that Munchetty woman poses a problem.....on careful consideration I probably would but she would need to put on her red lipstick first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.