Neil Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 Fuck 'em,it's just a fucking tree,it spits it's sap over my freshly washed cars and windows,blocks my light and sheds it's fucking leaves all over my drive.Just because some cunt of a hippy says it's old and needs to be protected I have to put up with its fucking inconvenience ,I hope the next high winds bring the cunt crashing down and I can get on with my miserable existence without being fucking sapped on year in year out.A world where trees,plants and animals come before humans is bollocks. fuck off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 If you are an example of human, the tree, plant or animal gets my vote every time. Get off your lazy fat arse and wash your car. As you don't cycle, the exercise will do you good. No wonder I pray daily for mankind's extinction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 6 minutes ago, neil298 said: it spits it's sap over my freshly washed cars and windows This is a euphemism, right? Yggdrasil was a cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted June 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 Tree jizz =sap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 21 minutes ago, neil298 said: Fuck 'em,it's just a fucking tree,it spits it's sap over my freshly washed cars and windows,blocks my light and sheds it's fucking leaves all over my drive.Just because some cunt of a hippy says it's old and needs to be protected I have to put up with its fucking inconvenience ,I hope the next high winds bring the cunt crashing down and I can get on with my miserable existence without being fucking sapped on year in year out.A world where trees,plants and animals come before humans is bollocks. fuck off What the fuck are you babbling about now? I hope the tree you so detest crushes your pebble-dashed, 2 bedroom hut of a home with you asleep inside. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 24 minutes ago, neil298 said: it spits it's sap over my freshly washed cars and windows Ordinarily I'd have expressed my disappointment over your use of an apostrophe in the possessive "its" but I'm so distraught at Ding's earlier misuse of exclamation marks that you get an almost free pass tonight. It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted June 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 9 minutes ago, Bubbles said: What the fuck are you babbling about now? I hope the tree you so detest crushes your pebble-dashed, 2 bedroom hut of a home with you asleep inside. Sorry to disappoint but the fucking great limb fell away from the house and obliterated the bins but unfortunately not my shit heap of a car.Pebble dashed? How fucking dare you!,this ain't Cardiff 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 1 hour ago, neil298 said: Fuck 'em,it's just a fucking tree,it spits it's sap over my freshly washed cars and windows,blocks my light and sheds it's fucking leaves all over my drive.Just because some cunt of a hippy says it's old and needs to be protected I have to put up with its fucking inconvenience ,I hope the next high winds bring the cunt crashing down and I can get on with my miserable existence without being fucking sapped on year in year out.A world where trees,plants and animals come before humans is bollocks. fuck off You sir, you have crossed the border into the dim realm of retards. This poor cunt of a tree absorbs the spunk smelling co2 you wheeze out your massive hairy nostrils, converting it to o2, and you bitch pitifully about it, you ungrateful churl. In time, your huge rotting carcass shall nurture him, while he perserveres, and you; mouldering, unloved, and unsung. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 Just now, Quincy Cockfingers said: You sir, you have crossed the border into the dim land of retards. This poor cunt of a tree absorbs the spunk smelling co2 you wheeze out your massive hairy nostrils, converting it to o2, and you bitch pitifully about it, you ungrateful churl. In time, your huge rotting carcass shall nurture him, while he perserveres, and you; mouldering, unloved, and unsung. Fucking extremely good work Quincy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 1 hour ago, neil298 said: Sorry to disappoint but the fucking great limb fell away from the house and obliterated the bins but unfortunately not my shit heap of a car.Pebble dashed? How fucking dare you!,this ain't Cardiff Swansea? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 Just now, camberwell gypsy said: Swansea? I was thinking he meant pebbledashed with shit from the friday night revellers that piss and shit up against his garden gate... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 3 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: You sir, you have crossed the border into the dim land of retards. This poor cunt of a tree absorbs the spunk smelling co2 you wheeze out your massive hairy nostrils, converting it to o2, and you bitch pitifully about it, you ungrateful churl. In time, your huge rotting carcass shall nurture him, while he perserveres, and you; mouldering, unloved, and unsung. Read what you just wrote out loud; but as Vincent Price! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 1 minute ago, DingTheRioja said: I was thinking he meant pebbledashed with shit from the friday night revellers that piss and shit up against his garden gate... God that takes me back! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 Just now, camberwell gypsy said: God that takes me back! Last month? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted June 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 4 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Fucking extremely good work Quincy. Exactly,cunts who care more about trees than humans,I wish you were a tree,I'd piss up you and then cut you off at the fucking roots and feed you into a chipper never to be seen again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 3 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: Last month? If it was then I can't remember it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 2 minutes ago, neil298 said: Exactly,cunts who care more about trees than humans,I wish you were a tree,I'd piss up you and then cut you off at the fucking roots and feed you into a chipper never to be seen again I would shit down a hefty breadfruit, to splish your brains into the loam, feeding me a meagre supper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 1 minute ago, neil298 said: Exactly,cunts who care more about trees than humans,I wish you were a tree,I'd piss up you and then cut you off at the fucking roots and feed you into a chipper never to be seen again Fucking ace, a genuine reason to bring in the "woodchipper" response on topic... you clever cunt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 9 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Read what you just wrote out loud; but as Vincent Price! It was the tone I was gunning for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted June 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 3 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: Fucking ace, a genuine reason to bring in the "woodchipper" response on topic... you clever cunt! In hindsight it may be better to chop it up into small pieces,leave in a shed for 2 years and then place on a roaring fire to slowly burn whilst emitting that satisfying little squeal as the cunt turns into ash that blows gently away on the breeze,very satisfying Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 Just now, neil298 said: In hindsight it may be better to chop it up into small pieces,leave in a shed for 2 years and then place on a roaring fire to slowly burn whilst emitting that satisfying little squeal as the cunt turns into ash that blows gently away on the breeze,very satisfying No, The Woodchipper is always the best response. Always. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 8 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: It was the tone I was gunning for. I sometimes read something in the voice of Pam Ayres. "Hello. Moi name is Parm Ayres. You may have 'erd of Moi brother Poobick" If that gets no likes I will NOT be surprised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 Just now, camberwell gypsy said: I sometimes read something in the voice of Pam Ayres. "Hello. Moi name is Parm Ayres. You may have 'erd of Moi brother Poobick" If that gets no likes I will NOT be surprised. You're welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 19 minutes ago, neil298 said: In hindsight it may be better to chop it up into small pieces,leave in a shed for 2 years and then place on a roaring fire to slowly burn whilst emitting that satisfying little squeal as the cunt turns into ash that blows gently away on the breeze,very satisfying Before you could, squirrels would surge over you, owls pluck your eyeballs, chipmunks chide you; I'd send forth tendrils to entwine your limbs, questing roots to explore your cavities, and rip you asunder, flinging the dross to the four winds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 5 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Before you could, squirrels would surge over you, owls pluck your eyeballs, chipmunks chide you; I'd send forth tendrils to entwine your limbs, questing roots to explore your cavities, and rip you asunder, flinging the dross to the four winds. What've you been smoking? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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