Bubba C Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 What the fuck is it with restaurants and pubs these days? Is there a shortage of plates in the world, or is it simply the fucking trend to serve a 3 course meal on anything but a plate, the one fucking thing that particular piece of crockery was designed for? Starter in some glass fucking dish, main on a fucking piece of wood and desert on some slate. Not one fucking plate throughout, it was only because the waitress had a fuckable arse and tits that I didn't lose my shit. Fuck off, give me my food on a plate and my fucking pint in a normal glass, not something that looks like a fucking knock-off Waterford crystal fucking vase. Cunts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 6 minutes ago, Bubbles said: What the fuck is it with restaurants and pubs these days? Is there a shortage of plates in the world, or is it simply the fucking trend to serve a 3 course meal on anything but a plate, the one fucking thing that particular piece of crockery was designed for? Starter in some glass fucking dish, main on a fucking piece of wood and desert on some slate. Not one fucking plate throughout, it was only because the waitress had a fuckable arse and tits that I didn't lose my shit. Fuck off, give me my food on a plate and my fucking pint in a normal glass, not something that looks like a fucking knock-off Waterford crystal fucking vase. Cunts I agree..it is pretentious shite and should be condemned as such...that's why the only restaurants I frequent nowadays are Balti houses.....typically large scaldingly hot curry served in a large red hot metal bowl accompanied by a nan bread the size if a large pillow. 3 pints of flat lager to wash it down with.......that's good eating. This gastro pub nonsense is exactly that.....its all..... pan fried, timbale, flame grilled, jus, al fucking dente, and regionally sourced bag of shite that costs an arm and a leg for a meal that fails to really satisfy.....and what's this new bollocks where they charge separately for the vegetables. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 At some places in Japan, they even have a group of people eat sushi off a naked teenage girl's body. Absolute fucking savages. Incidentally, on the subject of Japan, how much are flights there nowadays? Just asking for a mate... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 3 minutes ago, nocti said: At some places in Japan, they even have a group of people eat sushi off a naked teenage girl's body. Absolute fucking savages. Incidentally, on the subject of Japan, how much are flights there nowadays? Just asking for a mate... Surely everything tastes of fish? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted March 25, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 27 minutes ago, luke swarm said: I agree..it is pretentious shite and should be condemned as such...that's why the only restaurants I frequent nowadays are Balti houses.....typically large scaldingly hot curry served in a large red hot metal bowl accompanied by a nan bread the size if a large pillow. 3 pints of flat lager to wash it down with.......that's good eating. This gastro pub nonsense is exactly that.....its all..... pan fried, timbale, flame grilled, jus, al fucking dente, and regionally sourced bag of shite that costs an arm and a leg for a meal that fails to really satisfy.....and what's this new bollocks where they charge separately for the vegetables. Charging for vegetables? Not experienced that, but a truly fucking absurd concept none the less. Another thought on my nom, surely eating off a piece of wood that countless others have used is some sort of hygiene risk? Filthy cunts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 7 minutes ago, Bubbles said: Charging for vegetables? Not experienced that, but a truly fucking absurd concept none the less. Another thought on my nom, surely eating off a piece of wood that countless others have used is some sort of hygiene risk? Filthy cunts Talking of filthy cunts...there is a place near us that belongs to a chain called Crown Carveries....... they do a carvery dinner for about a fiver and you are served the meat by a sweaty pimply faced "chef" but you can help yourself to the trimmings such as spuds, veg, gravy, sauces etc. Now, normal people go in and buy a pint or a glass of wine to help wash the dinner down.....but oh no...the chavvy cheap cunts go in and ask for tap water because the drinks is where they make the profit to keep the thing alive....now when it comes to helping yourself to the trimmings, these cunts behave as if they have not seen food for 3 days...they literally bury themselves under a small hill of vegetables and a small lake of gravy, with horseradish sauce literally dripping off the side of the plate. It is a disgusting spectacle in sheer gluttony as they chomp away masticating the unsightly mess......even worse some of them leave half the swill uneaten. Some people will always behave like pigs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 along with all the poncing about with what i consider essentially to be fuel , when we ordered a three person platter which would be sufficient for four of us imagine my surprise when the bill included a £5 "plate charge" .... the cunts !... if that's the going rate for washing a cunting plate then I've obviously been underpaying the missus for all these years Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 2 minutes ago, colonelkurtz said: along with all the poncing about with what i consider essentially to be fuel , when we ordered a three person platter which would be sufficient for four of us imagine my surprise when the bill included a £5 "plate charge" .... the cunts !... if that's the going rate for washing a cunting plate then I've obviously been underpaying the missus for all these years you should have kept the plate Colonel......that would fucking learn em Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted March 25, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 25 minutes ago, luke swarm said: Talking of filthy cunts...there is a place near us that belongs to a chain called Crown Carveries....... they do a carvery dinner for about a fiver and you are served the meat by a sweaty pimply faced "chef" but you can help yourself to the trimmings such as spuds, veg, gravy, sauces etc. The local version of this is the Toby Carvery. Only once did I subject myself to this carnage. It was like watching the raptor feeding scene from Jurassic Park in the flesh, only replacing the goat with a mountain of roast potatoes and salivating cunts instead of a dinosaur. Fucking disgusting. I finished my tap water, with ice and lemon and fucked off, pronto. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 42 minutes ago, Bubbles said: Another thought on my nom, surely eating off a piece of wood that countless others have used is some sort of hygiene risk? But enough about my sex life. Slates are so yesterday. There are pretentious cunts out there now serving food on shovels, dustbin lids, even out of fucking shoes! Perhaps the most extreme example of this fuckwittery is the use of an iPad which is showing a picture of a plate. Fucking cunts. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 1 hour ago, Bubbles said: What the fuck is it with restaurants and pubs these days? Is there a shortage of plates in the world, or is it simply the fucking trend to serve a 3 course meal on anything but a plate, the one fucking thing that particular piece of crockery was designed for? Starter in some glass fucking dish, main on a fucking piece of wood and desert on some slate. Not one fucking plate throughout, it was only because the waitress had a fuckable arse and tits that I didn't lose my shit. Fuck off, give me my food on a plate and my fucking pint in a normal glass, not something that looks like a fucking knock-off Waterford crystal fucking vase. Cunts Think of poor Frank getting his glop slopped into a tin bowl at the soup kitchen in the Elephant and Castle every night! He'd consider a wooden slate as a luxury. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted March 25, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 5 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: But enough about my sex life. Slates are so yesterday. There are pretentious cunts out there now serving food on shovels, dustbin lids, even out of fucking shoes! Perhaps the most extreme example of this fuckwittery is the use of an iPad which is showing a picture of a plate. Fucking cunts. This is too much Baws. Bring me this cunts head, on an iPad with a stake for a screensaver and we may be able to restore the worlds equilibrium. Some cunt near me brings some dishes out still in the fucking pan. Lazy, trying to be hip, master chef watching, cunt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 In the old days, my favourite meals came wrapped in newspaper so I can't call some cunt eating curry out of a toilet bowl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 18 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: But enough about my sex life. Slates are so yesterday. There are pretentious cunts out there now serving food on shovels, dustbin lids, even out of fucking shoes! Perhaps the most extreme example of this fuckwittery is the use of an iPad which is showing a picture of a plate. Fucking cunts. Baws, tell me this is a fucking wind-up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 22 minutes ago, nocti said: Baws, tell me this is a fucking wind-up? I actually wish I'd had the nous to take a quick dump on Mrs Baws' tablet, at the risk of my own life, photograph it, and then upload the result. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 35 minutes ago, Bubbles said: This is too much Baws. Bring me this cunts head, on an iPad with a stake for a screensaver and we may be able to restore the worlds equilibrium. Actually, I am just shitting you. The original CNET article about this restaurant is dated 1st April. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 59 minutes ago, colonelkurtz said: along with all the poncing about with what i consider essentially to be fuel , when we ordered a three person platter which would be sufficient for four of us imagine my surprise when the bill included a £5 "plate charge" .... the cunts !... if that's the going rate for washing a cunting plate then I've obviously been underpaying the missus for all these years I'm not saying the romance has gone out of our marriage. But whenever I have sex with the mrs nowadays I leave twenty quid on her bedside table. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 22 minutes ago, scotty said: I'm not saying the romance has gone out of our marriage. But whenever I have sex with the mrs nowadays I leave twenty quid on her bedside table. fucking thieving cow...she has been charging me £30 plus extra charges if I leave a stain on your curtains. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 24 minutes ago, luke swarm said: fucking thieving cow...she has been charging me £30 plus extra charges if I leave a stain on your curtains. Yeah but to be fair, you are a fugly munt... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 5 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: Yeah but to be fair, you are a fugly munt... That's quite true Ding but as your good lady says... size also matters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 1 minute ago, luke swarm said: That's quite true Ding but as your good lady says... size also matters. that's why she charges you less.. feels sorry for you with that cocktail sausage... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 2 hours ago, luke swarm said: fucking thieving cow...she has been charging me £30 plus extra charges if I leave a stain on your curtains. If you saw her I doubt you'd be paying her, luke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 6 hours ago, Bubbles said: What the fuck is it with restaurants and pubs these days? Is there a shortage of plates in the world, or is it simply the fucking trend to serve a 3 course meal on anything but a plate, the one fucking thing that particular piece of crockery was designed for? Starter in some glass fucking dish, main on a fucking piece of wood and desert on some slate. Not one fucking plate throughout, it was only because the waitress had a fuckable arse and tits that I didn't lose my shit. Fuck off, give me my food on a plate and my fucking pint in a normal glass, not something that looks like a fucking knock-off Waterford crystal fucking vase. Cunts The trouble is that some poxed up,AIDS ridden, taxi-driving Asian cunt from Rotherham will have stuck his cock in the curry beforehand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted March 25, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 34 minutes ago, Punkape said: The trouble is that some poxed up,AIDS ridden, taxi-driving Asian cunt from Rotherham will have stuck his cock in the curry beforehand. Quite. I usually wait for this to happen so I can purchase the microwave ready meals at a reduced price in my local Tesco express. RRP is a cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted March 26, 2016 Report Share Posted March 26, 2016 7 hours ago, Punkape said: The trouble is that some poxed up,AIDS ridden, taxi-driving Asian cunt from Rotherham will have stuck his cock in the curry beforehand. Do you have to pay extra for that Spunkers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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