Guest luke swarm Posted March 17, 2016 Report Share Posted March 17, 2016 Now that this Government has finally seen the light and is making funds available for new Academy's, I think the time is right to take positive action. I intend to submit a proposal to lay the foundations for an academy for Cunts on the outskirts of Wolverhampton and am pretty confident of being provided with the finance to make my dream come alive. This is a golden opportunity for respectable Cunts to ensure that their offspring also have the opportunity to become detestable and despicable cunts just like themselves. I hope that the venerable corner will support this endeavour and help where it can. We will certainly need tutors and I can think of no one more qualified in the art of Cuntism than the alumni gather here.......once the building and grounds have been established I will be seeking qualified Cunts to fill the following posts: ....I will add my suggestions but remember its only the initial draft. Headmaster..........Cuntybaws ( most senior cunt) Discipline.......................William Stickers Higher Cunt Studies..........Mr Decimus Religious Studies........The Hon Cardinal Sin Cultural Awareness and Equal Opportunities .........Mr Manky deputized by Mr Eddie Homophobic and GayBoy Studies ...........Judge Twi French .................Mr Withered Scrotes Etiquette and bearing studies.....Mr Spunkape Sex Education and Lack of it .............Mr Neil and deputized by Mr Scotty Creative Cunting Studies ..................Mr Q Cockfingers, deputized by Mr MikeD Medical Centre and Quick Reaction Bleach poisoning team ...............Dr ProperKhunt and Nurse Gypps Amateur Photography .................Mrs Roops Cunt Art................Mr Deebom Sport................Mr Applescruff Debating Society ......Mr Ape deputized by Mr Snatch Military Studies .........Colonel Kurtz Schools Governors: Mr Nocti, Mrs Gobbler, Mr Ding Mr Swarm We will need support staff such as security, caretakers and the post of school bully will need to be established.....all useful suggestions will be considered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted March 17, 2016 Report Share Posted March 17, 2016 3/10 see me after class Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted March 17, 2016 Report Share Posted March 17, 2016 Far too inclusive. Some of those teachers need kicking off the fucking gravy train. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 17, 2016 Report Share Posted March 17, 2016 Has the building work gone out to tender yet? As a couple of my brothers and numerous cousins are in the building game and would be very interested. Don't worry about the paper work. Quotes will be written on the back of a pack of 20 Bensons'. They like to keep things simple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted March 17, 2016 Report Share Posted March 17, 2016 Bully must go to Frank. That cunt bubbles can be the cleaner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted March 17, 2016 Report Share Posted March 17, 2016 14 minutes ago, Eddie said: 3/10 see me after class Will I need the antiseptic ointment again Sir. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted March 17, 2016 Report Share Posted March 17, 2016 12 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: Far too inclusive. Some of those teachers need kicking off the fucking gravy train. I did consider you for the secondary duty to be in charge of the welcoming committee but felt it would be unwise to overburden you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted March 17, 2016 Report Share Posted March 17, 2016 14 minutes ago, Properkhunt said: I would add a few additions Historical studies Mr Couldn't give a shit Musical studies Mr Cuntspotter Caretaker Mr Cuntcrapper Music Teacher should surely be Mr Gongfarmer......My Cuntspotter would make an excellent Cunt mediation studies Tutor. Are you sure about Mr Cuntcrapper...he looks close to retirement age to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted March 17, 2016 Report Share Posted March 17, 2016 3 minutes ago, luke swarm said: Will I need the antiseptic ointment again Sir. This is not punkapes boarding school ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 17, 2016 Report Share Posted March 17, 2016 Fucking hell.. Governors...?? At least make me Head of some fucking section... Girls 6th Form?? Anyway, Jazz needs to be head of Art and Design, deebom is overqualified, he needs to go to the Remedial Pottery Class Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted March 17, 2016 Report Share Posted March 17, 2016 If there's not a department for shit jokes and cringe-worthy puns you can shove it up your arse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted March 17, 2016 Report Share Posted March 17, 2016 2 minutes ago, MikeD said: you can shove it up your arse. I am afraid that the Dept for this sort of thing above has already been allocated. Are you sure you will not reconsider.....it will be a mixed school in case I haven't mentioned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted March 17, 2016 Report Share Posted March 17, 2016 Just now, luke swarm said: I am afraid that the Dept for this sort of thing above has already been allocated. Are you sure you will not reconsider.....it will be a mixed school in case I haven't mentioned. Fuck it, sign me up!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted March 17, 2016 Report Share Posted March 17, 2016 Surely Jazz should be in charge of the special needs kids,painting lessons could get a bit fucking messy though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted March 17, 2016 Report Share Posted March 17, 2016 Send the girls to my study for some remedial French. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted March 17, 2016 Report Share Posted March 17, 2016 What about a transvestite pottery teacher ? Anyone in mind Eddie? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted March 18, 2016 Report Share Posted March 18, 2016 6 hours ago, Punkape said: What about a transvestite pottery teacher ? Anyone in mind Eddie? The schools we attended must have been very different, although Quincy Cockfingers may be interested if he ever returns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted March 18, 2016 Report Share Posted March 18, 2016 What the fuck is this. It looks as if the staff you've allocated to posts have actually got all the required knowledge and skills to teach what they were meant to, which would mean that your academy may be the only one in the UK that actually meets some performance targets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 18, 2016 Report Share Posted March 18, 2016 8 hours ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: What the fuck is this. It looks as if the staff you've allocated to posts have actually got all the required knowledge and skills to teach what they were meant to, which would mean that your academy may be the only one in the UK that actually meets some performance targets. The only target we are likely to hit is this one.. Cunty... there's a goth Paloma Faith in there... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted March 18, 2016 Report Share Posted March 18, 2016 23 hours ago, luke swarm said: Now that this Government has finally seen the light and is making funds available for new Academy's, I think the time is right to take positive action. I intend to submit a proposal to lay the foundations for an academy for Cunts on the outskirts of Wolverhampton and am pretty confident of being provided with the finance to make my dream come alive. This is a golden opportunity for respectable Cunts to ensure that their offspring also have the opportunity to become detestable and despicable cunts just like themselves. I hope that the venerable corner will support this endeavour and help where it can. We will certainly need tutors and I can think of no one more qualified in the art of Cuntism than the alumni gather here.......once the building and grounds have been established I will be seeking qualified Cunts to fill the following posts: ....I will add my suggestions but remember its only the initial draft. Headmaster..........Cuntybaws ( most senior cunt) Discipline.......................William Stickers Higher Cunt Studies..........Mr Decimus Religious Studies........The Hon Cardinal Sin Cultural Awareness and Equal Opportunities .........Mr Manky deputized by Mr Eddie Homophobic and GayBoy Studies ...........Judge Twi French .................Mr Withered Scrotes Etiquette and bearing studies.....Mr Spunkape Sex Education and Lack of it .............Mr Neil and deputized by Mr Scotty Creative Cunting Studies ..................Mr Q Cockfingers, deputized by Mr MikeD Medical Centre and Quick Reaction Bleach poisoning team ...............Dr ProperKhunt and Nurse Gypps Amateur Photography .................Mrs Roops Cunt Art................Mr Deebom Sport................Mr Applescruff Debating Society ......Mr Ape deputized by Mr Snatch Military Studies .........Colonel Kurtz Schools Governors: Mr Nocti, Mrs Gobbler, Mr Ding Mr Swarm We will need support staff such as security, caretakers and the post of school bully will need to be established.....all useful suggestions will be considered. Luke, this government is a cunt academy. It has been churning and shitting out some of the worlds most vile, contemptible, despicable, repugnant cunts since they expelled the original colonists to the whims of the new world, and have made plenty of money doing so. For whatever reason, I doubt they would welcome your competition, well intentioned as it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted March 18, 2016 Report Share Posted March 18, 2016 11 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: Luke, this government is a cunt academy. It has been churning and shitting out some of the worlds most vile, contemptible, despicable, repugnant cunts since they expelled the original colonists to the whims of the new world, and have made plenty of money doing so. For whatever reason, I doubt they would welcome your competition, well intentioned as it is. I fear you are right Sleeve....we are mere amateur Cunts compared to our political masters. The idea of an academy for Cunts is already in existence and has been churning out these horrible bastards for centuries......indeed they are even designated as a charity I think....how's that for a colossal pisstake at our expense. Half the cunts in the Cabinet have apparently been to Eton I believe, which just indicates the level of cuntitude at the top. I seriously think that this push towards academies is another attempt to roll the clock back 70 or 80 years where the masses are educated just enough but not to a degree where they are a threat to the highly educated and elite private stream. Can we look forward to schools run by large companies. Can you imagine a school sponsored by Amazon or Sports Direct.......training a generation of poorly educated Proles who are indoctrinated to accept servitude without question, A dystopian outlook perhaps but is it far from the truth.....and do not even start me on my views on the religious/faith schools. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted March 18, 2016 Report Share Posted March 18, 2016 22 minutes ago, luke swarm said: I fear you are right Sleeve....we are mere amateur Cunts compared to our political masters. The idea of an academy for Cunts is already in existence and has been churning out these horrible bastards for centuries......indeed they are even designated as a charity I think....how's that for a colossal pisstake at our expense. Half the cunts in the Cabinet have apparently been to Eton I believe, which just indicates the level of cuntitude at the top. I seriously think that this push towards academies is another attempt to roll the clock back 70 or 80 years where the masses are educated just enough but not to a degree where they are a threat to the highly educated and elite private stream. Can we look forward to schools run by large companies. Can you imagine a school sponsored by Amazon or Sports Direct.......training a generation of poorly educated Proles who are indoctrinated to accept servitude without question, A dystopian outlook perhaps but is it far from the truth.....and do not even start me on my views on the religious/faith schools. They might be cunts but they have well and truly got the population of this country figured out. They know that no matter what kind of shit they throw at us we'll have a moan and a groan, maybe even threaten to do something, but as long as there's fucking football on the tv and the latest fucking iphone or similar shit fucking gadget to dumb us down with we'll continue to let them do whatever they fucking want. Take to the streets? Maybe if they cancelled the X-Factor or fucking Eastenders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick_B Posted March 18, 2016 Report Share Posted March 18, 2016 17 minutes ago, MikeD said: They might be cunts but they have well and truly got the population of this country figured out. They know that no matter what kind of shit they throw at us we'll have a moan and a groan, maybe even threaten to do something, but as long as there's fucking football on the tv and the latest fucking iphone or similar shit fucking gadget to dumb us down with we'll continue to let them do whatever they fucking want. Take to the streets? Maybe if they cancelled the X-Factor or fucking Eastenders. That's depressingly true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted March 18, 2016 Report Share Posted March 18, 2016 20 minutes ago, MikeD said: They might be cunts but they have well and truly got the population of this country figured out. They know that no matter what kind of shit they throw at us we'll have a moan and a groan, maybe even threaten to do something, but as long as there's fucking football on the tv and the latest fucking iphone or similar shit fucking gadget to dumb us down with we'll continue to let them do whatever they fucking want. Take to the streets? Maybe if they cancelled the X-Factor or fucking Eastenders. I remember many years ago when the troubles in Ireland were at their height......there used to be almost daily reports of bombings and soldiers killed....in fact it became so commonplace for the odd squaddie to get killed by the IRA that it only merited a very small column on the inside of the tabloids which people started to ignore. I always remember thinking that the IRA, if they ever wanted a resolution were wasting their time targeting the Army as no one really gave a shit about the soldiers dying but if they blew up a TV transmitter whilst Eastenders or Corrie was on then their would be such an outpouring of rage and calls for action that the whole thing would have been sorted in no time at all. Generally most of the population are sheep.....us included as their seems little can be done to change the situation other than try to vote every four years....trouble is the government always gets in..........and yes I have been drinking since 5....Somerfield cider tonight Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted March 18, 2016 Report Share Posted March 18, 2016 We're all lazy, complacent, selfish cunts when it comes down to it but some are without doubt worse than others. Nuclear war? Oh fuck, there goes my mobile signal, that would be the main fucking concern. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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