Earl of Punkape Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 I occasionally play golf with a surgeon whose hospital is in South Manchester. Many a Monday morning brings him the aftermath of the "social " activities of the depraved knob jockey community. Items have included ..... Various standard vibratory aids. Rolling pins Carrots, courgettes, cucumbers etc.... A magic wand A rolled up copy of the FT ( a decent newspaper ) A ketchup bottle An electric razor ( not including the flex). An aerosol. Most recently he extracted a biro from a willy ( a difficult procedure he added). Cunts who indulge in such practices should be made to pay for these operations and fined for wasting NHS time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 My daughter - in- law is a Theatre nurse in a ENGLISH hospital and had to assist in the removal of a large butternut squash from a Vicars arse. She attended a church wedding in a neighbouring town some weeks later and guess who was officiating . She had to leave half way through the service because she couldn't stop giggling. Oh by the way Pukeape , you're a silly cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 8 minutes ago, Punkape said: I occasionally play golf with a surgeon whose hospital is in South Manchester. Many a Monday morning brings him the aftermath of the "social " activities of the depraved knob jockey community. Items have included ..... Various standard vibratory aids. Rolling pins Carrots, courgettes, cucumbers etc.... A magic wand A rolled up copy of the FT ( a decent newspaper ) A ketchup bottle An electric razor ( not including the flex). An aerosol. Most recently he extracted a biro from a willy ( a difficult procedure he added). Cunts who indulge in such practices should be made to pay for these operations and fined for wasting NHS time. Are you sure he wasn't just listing what he removed from your arse when he last operated on you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 The Royal Sussex County Hospital in Brighton specialises in such operations. Punkape is a regular there, I have heard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 Shoving objects up their arse is Judges Speciality. I should think Franks in there somewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 24 minutes ago, Properkhunt said: Yes quite, I've seen a few over the years. What about the man with the cricket ball up his rectum,,,,,,,,,I said howzat? Must of made a mess of the bails. See what I did there? Bails/bowels? I'll get my pads Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 Doing my tour of duty in the a&e, I never came across anything like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 4 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Doing my tour of duty in the a&e, I never came across anything like this. Thats because you don't hang around with Spunkers made up Catholic mates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 11 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Doing my tour of duty in the a&e, I never came across anything like this. I should hope not. A delicate flower like you shouldn't be driven to orgasm by such sordidness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 God doesn't like people who stick things up their arses. That's why he invented AIDS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 I think it's a way of keeping the hamster population under control. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 1 hour ago, Punkape said: I occasionally play golf with a surgeon whose hospital is in South Manchester. Many a Monday morning brings him the aftermath of the "social " activities of the depraved knob jockey community. Items have included ..... Various standard vibratory aids. Rolling pins Carrots, courgettes, cucumbers etc.... A magic wand A rolled up copy of the FT ( a decent newspaper ) A ketchup bottle An electric razor ( not including the flex). An aerosol. Most recently he extracted a biro from a willy ( a difficult procedure he added). Cunts who indulge in such practices should be made to pay for these operations and fined for wasting NHS time. You don't really, do you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 Is this opposed to people on here that are stuck up their own arses? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 1 hour ago, Punkape said: I occasionally play golf I wont ask what your handicap is,Jazz went mental last time I got caught up in that debate!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 13 minutes ago, MikeD said: I think it's a way of keeping the hamster population under control. You don't see many gerbils around these days either. Richard gere has a lot to answer for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 Just now, scotty said: You don't see many gerbils around these days either. Richard gere has a lot to answer for. You don't see them but you can still hear them. Although it tends to be a bit muffled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 2 hours ago, Alfie Noakes said: The Royal Sussex County Hospital in Brighton specialises in such operations. Punkape is a regular there, I have heard. do you think Pukeape wears a dog collar ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 Just now, witheredscrote said: do you think Pukeape wears a dog collar ? He probably wears whatever his punter is paying for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 1 hour ago, Properkhunt said: Yes quite, I've seen a few over the years. What about the man with the cricket ball up his rectum,,,,,,,,,I said howzat? That wasn't Apple was it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 I remember this story from a while back,concrete for fucks sake!!,I can never look at a cement mixer to this day. http://www.well.com/~cynsa/cement.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 56 minutes ago, MikeD said: You don't really, do you? He meant Sturgeon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted March 8, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 3 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: He meant Sturgeon. That's probably been done too.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 13 minutes ago, neil298 said: I remember this story from a while back,concrete for fucks sake!!,I can never look at a cement mixer to this day. http://www.well.com/~cynsa/cement.html Maybe he just wanted to cement their relationship! He may have been a good mixer! I'll get my hard hat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 10 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: He meant Sturgeon. I just tried to Google the infamous Led Zeppelin incident. A word of advice - don't use the search phrase "fish in cunt" while you're in image mode! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 10 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: He meant Sturgeon. Bit fishy if you ask me. Fuck off, someone was going to do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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