Sickipedia.

[Frank]

15 hours ago, scotty said:

I was getting dressed when the hooker said "you're the first man who ever made me come."

"It's alright love," I replied briskly. "No need to bother with all that bullshit." 

"No sir, don't you remember?"  she said. "Mandy Williams, year eight maths?"

Scotty, I hate you and your stupid fucking jokes. Worse than the shit found on the back of a Penguin. Idiot. 

[scotty]

14 minutes ago, Frank said:

Scotty, I hate you and your stupid fucking jokes. Worse than the shit found on the back of a Penguin. Idiot. 

Do fuck off frank, there's a good boy. Even a cunt of your limited intellect should have worked out after 23 pages what to expect on this thread, if you don't like it don't fucking read it.

[scotty]

I've just renamed my WiFi network to "Police Surveillance Van #02".

That should keep my neighbours on their toes for a while.

[scotty]

My boss rebuked me for saying there's a new opening at work. 

Apparently I'm supposed to refer to her as my new secretary. 

[Frank]

Just now, scotty said:

Do fuck off frank, there's a good boy. Even a cunt of your limited intellect should have worked out after 23 pages what to expect on this thread, if you don't like it don't fucking read it.

Tedious fucking structured jokes in written form simply don't work.. you thick plebeian miniature of a man. The set-up, timing, twist and surprise, combined with the joke-teller's stupid fucking face is lost in all of this bollocks, scotty. Two-liner jokes are worse. You're a fucking idiot, it's a shit nom, and I'm going to stick my neck out and say that nobody but nobody likes you.

[Frank]

Just now, Properkhunt said:

You certainly have plenty of neck to lose.

I sincerely hope you don't wave your wrinkly old admin dick around in your day job, proper. 

[scotty]

1 hour ago, Frank said:

 I'm going to stick my neck out and say that nobody but nobody likes you.

That's an absolute cracker, frank. It wouldn't have been funny coming from anyone but you.

[Frank]

Just now, scotty said:

That's an absolute cracker, frank. It wouldn't have been funny coming from anyone but you.

There you go, scotty.. my little man! It's all in the timing.

Speaking of timing, do you think Eddie's been acting a little queer?

[Decimus]

Just now, Frank said:

Do you think Eddie's been acting a little queer?

As far as I can see, there have been absolutely no MikeD'isms from Eddie in his time here.

[Frank]

Just now, Decimus said:

As far as I can see, there have been absolutely no MikeD'isms from Eddie in his time here.

Before tiny Mike climbs up to his keyboard, let me slip this in... do you think there might be a connection between proper and eddie?

[scotty]

10 minutes ago, Frank said:

There you go, scotty.. my little man! It's all in the timing.

Speaking of timing, do you think Eddie's been acting a little queer?

Now you mention it, he doesn't seem to have been on here much lately. I don't mind him at all myself, he's usually a laugh. 

[Bubba C]

8 minutes ago, Frank said:

Before tiny Mike climbs up to his keyboard, let me slip this in... do you think there might be a connection between proper and eddie?

Proper is Eddie's 'girlfriend'. 

[Ape™️]

21 minutes ago, Frank said:

There you go, scotty.. my little man! It's all in the timing.

Speaking of timing, do you think Eddie's been acting a little queer?

Do you really think that anyone has ever been the slightest bit interested in anything you say or do ever, Frank?!

[Frank]

Just now, Bubbles said:

Proper is Eddie's 'girlfriend'. 

I can't really put my finger on it, bubble. If you combine their respective names, jumble up the letters and add several more, it spells 'spinelesscockchompers'. They're not that bright, surely?

[Frank]

Just now, Ape said:

Do you really think that anyone has ever been the slightest bit interested in anything you say or do ever, Frank?!

I try not to think about it. You've gone for two punctuation marks there, ape. I'll check with Bill, but I'm sure that's not quite right.

[Frank]

Just now, Properkhunt said:

Not today, been at home. Just made a lovely roast chicken (reared and slaughtered at a local farm), stuffed with rosemary and thyme, roast tatties cooked with duck fat, steamed asparagus, broccoli, carrots and peas, home made stuffing and the gravy made with the juices from the chicken tray. If you stick your long neck from your gaff to Mid Essex I will fill your oversized cake hole with some Proper Grub.

Kindly pm your home address and I'll make my way over... I've got some blueprints I'd like to show you. It's about time we met.

[Frank]

Just now, Properkhunt said:

We will be "out" later. On another note Mr Bubbles, you seem a tad pre-occupied with Eddie and his sexuality. Are you a gay man?

He appears a little frustrated more than gay, proper. A half day business 'back to basics' course should stand him in good stead.

[Ape™️]

8 minutes ago, Frank said:

I try not to think about it. You've gone for two punctuation marks there, ape. I'll check with Bill, but I'm sure that's not quite right.

That's the way Rick said it, so get fucked.

[Bubba C]

4 minutes ago, Properkhunt said:

We will be "out" later. On another note Mr Bubbles, you seem a tad pre-occupied with Eddie and his sexuality. Are you a gay man?

Odd you didn't feel the need to ask Eddie a similar question about his constant noncing accusations? 

[Frank]

Just now, Ape said:

That's the way Rick said it, so get fucked.

test me on it, go on.. test me!

[Bubba C]

1 minute ago, Properkhunt said:

Eddie, Fatty and Decimus were banned for two days each for referring to others as nonces. I removed the comments when I saw them, about 2 days after they were posted. Stop whining, you might get mistaken for Snatch.

It was a simple question, you thick cunt. 

Have I responded to any of their comments previously? Alas, no, you complete fucking idiot. 

Fuck off. 

[Frank]

3 minutes ago, Bubbles said:

It was a simple question, you thick cunt. 

Have I responded to any of their comments previously? Alas, no, you complete fucking idiot. 

Fuck off. 

I don't think I like your tone. 

[Bubba C]

3 minutes ago, Frank said:

I don't think I like your tone. 

Apologies, Frank, I'm trying to address a complete fucking idiot here, it can be hard work. 

[Frank]

1 minute ago, Eddie said:

Shut up you nonce.

See what I mean, bubble?

[Decimus]

13 minutes ago, Properkhunt said:

Eddie, Fatty and Decimus were banned for two days each for referring to  others as nonces. I removed the comments when I saw them, about 2 days after they were posted. Stop whining, you might get mistaken for Snatch.

In my defence, I have got incredibly fat fingers. I meant to type ponce.