Witheredscrote Posted April 23, 2016 Report Share Posted April 23, 2016 2 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Absolutely fucking awful shite. I know , there is nothing worse than warm ice cream . Well maybe DingTheCrabstick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted April 23, 2016 Report Share Posted April 23, 2016 1 hour ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Absolutely fucking awful shite. I have nothing further to add. The punchline as limp as the cock in question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted April 23, 2016 Report Share Posted April 23, 2016 3 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Absolutely fucking awful shite. Quincers my old dorm buddy , that was a tad harsh on old Scotters. He is one of ours , a good egg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted April 23, 2016 Report Share Posted April 23, 2016 15 minutes ago, witheredscrote said: Quincers my old dorm buddy , that was a tad harsh on old Scotters. He is one of ours , a good egg. Exactly, he should know better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted April 23, 2016 Report Share Posted April 23, 2016 On 22/04/2016 at 2:00 PM, nobgobbler said: I think I might apply for that, init. Only if your a black single parent lesbian with Muslim background. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 23, 2016 I'm not saying my girlfriend's a slut. But I keep finding "even my van's not this filthy" written on her back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted April 23, 2016 Report Share Posted April 23, 2016 Scotty,if these are the jokes from Sicki,then it's no fucking wonder it doesn't exist anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted April 23, 2016 Report Share Posted April 23, 2016 3 hours ago, Snatch said: Only if your a black single parent lesbian with Muslim background. They don't know you are under burkha and dark glasses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted April 23, 2016 Report Share Posted April 23, 2016 3 hours ago, Snatch said: Only if your a black single parent lesbian with Muslim background. They don't know you are under burkha and dark glasses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted April 23, 2016 Report Share Posted April 23, 2016 Just now, nobgobbler said: They don't know you are under burkha and dark glasses. I gave a like the first time you posted this Gobbers. I'm not giving you another one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted April 23, 2016 Report Share Posted April 23, 2016 4 hours ago, Snatch said: Only if your a black single parent lesbian with Muslim background. Sorry Snatch. The quote buttons behaving like a spaz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted April 23, 2016 Report Share Posted April 23, 2016 43 minutes ago, Snatch said: I gave a like the first time you posted this Gobbers. I'm not giving you another one. I bet you would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 23, 2016 Honeymoon night with my new Thai bride. We got into foreplay and I was sucking her off when I thought "hang on a fucking minute..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted April 23, 2016 Report Share Posted April 23, 2016 Bloke in a pub was talking to the barman and said to him, 'I could shag any woman in here I wanted to.' Barman said, 'oh yeah, what makes you so confident?' Bloke says, 'I'm a rapist.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 23, 2016 That's the last time I use my Sean Connery accent to tell the wife to sit on my face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted April 23, 2016 Report Share Posted April 23, 2016 2 minutes ago, scotty said: That's the last time I use my Sean Connery accent to tell the wife to sit on my face. Now pay attention 007, no means no, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted April 24, 2016 Report Share Posted April 24, 2016 7 hours ago, MikeD said: I bet you would. Now you come to mention it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 24, 2016 "Harder! Deeper!" she gasped. "Tighter! Wetter!" I replied. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted April 24, 2016 Report Share Posted April 24, 2016 A leper was told that he would have to breakfast alone after he repeatedly kept dipping his buttered soldiers into his best friends head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 25, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2016 Since my vasectomy, every time I come a little flag pops out of my cock with "Bang!" written on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted April 26, 2016 Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 Did you hear about the dyslexic who choked to death on his on Vimto? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted April 26, 2016 Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 Or the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted April 26, 2016 Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 I am never at my best first thing in the morning , often making stupid little mistakes. For example , at breakfast this morning I meant to say to the wife 'pass me the marmalade dearest' , but apparently what I actually said was ' you have ruined my life you miserable old crone' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 26, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 Got a text from my neighbour this morning. I'd thought he was a friend. But it read "sorry mate, I can't pretend any longer. I've been tapping your wife for months, in fact more than you have. I promise this is the end of it and it'll never happen again." I went straight to the kitchen, walked up behind her and strangled her to death. Then another text came through. "Sorry again mate, fucking autocorrect. I meant wifi." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 26, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 I was getting dressed when the hooker said "you're the first man who ever made me come." "It's alright love," I replied briskly. "No need to bother with all that bullshit." "No sir, don't you remember?" she said. "Mandy Williams, year eight maths?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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