Mrs Roops Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 2 hours ago, luke swarm said: That's very kind of you and I accept your admiration. I am as changeable as a prairie flag....in addition I do not actually take myself very seriously on a site called....wait for it.....thats right Cunts Corner.......I wonder why you do. I take an interest, as much as you do Luke and why not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 1 hour ago, Mrs Roops said: You'll live.... I don't get that one either. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 My neighbours 12 year old daughter asked me round to help with a computer problem. "Mum and Dad are at work," she explained, "and I'm trying to install this software. But it keeps saying I need to disable my Virgin Security." "If your parents are out," I said, unbuckling my belt, "then you've already done that." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 I gazed into her deep blue eyes. My heart was pounding, sweat on my brow, unable to speak. It felt like an eternity before she parted her beautiful lips and said those three little words I'll never forget. "That's him, Officer." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 38 minutes ago, scotty said: I gazed into her deep blue eyes. My heart was pounding, sweat on my brow, unable to speak. It felt like an eternity before she parted her beautiful lips and said those three little words I'll never forget. "That's him, Officer." It's only rape if you cum. Allegedly.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 7 hours ago, scotty said: That's not much of a joke roops, I don't get it at all. Scotty,two words that don't belong in the same sentence. Unless you add "that is" in between. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 Myra Hindley is walking through the Yorkshire Moors, hand-in-hand with a little boy. "I'm scared," moans the boy. "You're scared?" she replies. "I have to walk back on my own". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 A young lad is standing at the edge of a cliff looking down and crying when a man walks past and asks him what's wrong. The lad says that his whole family have just gone off the edge in a car accident and he's now all alone. The man starts undoing his trousers and says to the boy, 'It's just not your fucking day, is it?' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 When I was fifteen, I walked into my parents bedroom without knocking. They were having sex. I've never been so shocked. Couldn't believe the bitch was cheating on me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 Just now, scotty said: When I was fifteen, I walked into my parents bedroom without knocking. They were having sex. I've never been so shocked. Couldn't believe the bitch was cheating on me. Scotty, will you please stop now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 Just now, Frank said: Scotty, will you please stop now? No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 5, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 5, 2016 What's the best thing for getting chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted April 6, 2016 Report Share Posted April 6, 2016 8 hours ago, scotty said: What's the best thing for getting chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer. I see the Maddie jokes aren't going down too well (so to speak). Luckily there's a whole host of humorous japes about blacks if you need to change the subject. Surely that couldn't be controversial? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 6, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2016 1 hour ago, Cuntybaws said: I see the Maddie jokes aren't going down too well (so to speak). Luckily there's a whole host of humorous japes about blacks if you need to change the subject. Surely that couldn't be controversial? Maddie jokes are a bit passé now, baws. They've been left behind, abandoned and forgotten. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 6, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2016 "I'm feeling really horny," said my wife as she sat down next to me on the sofa. "I'm wet, and I want you inside me. Then I want you to slip it into my tight little arsehole while I finger myself senseless." "I'm watching the telly here," I snapped. "Take that fucking phone into the kitchen." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 6, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2016 21 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: I see the Maddie jokes aren't going down too well (so to speak). Luckily there's a whole host of humorous japes about blacks if you need to change the subject. Surely that couldn't be controversial? A black guy walked into my shop with a parrot on his shoulder. "Christ mate," I said, "that's beautiful, where did you get it?" "Somalia," replied the parrot. "There's thousands of them out there." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted April 7, 2016 Report Share Posted April 7, 2016 Little Jimmy says 'mummy I've seen granny in the shower , she's got a prawn hanging between her legs' . Mummy replies 'that is her clitoris Jimmy' . Jimmy says ' fucking hell mummy it tasted just like a prawn though ' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted April 7, 2016 Report Share Posted April 7, 2016 I bought some of that Lynx Africa. I wanted to know what AIDS, famine and civil war smelt like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted April 7, 2016 Report Share Posted April 7, 2016 Why did God create women? To transport spunk from the bedroom to the bathroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted April 7, 2016 Report Share Posted April 7, 2016 I've adopted one of those Somali kids with flies all over their faces that you see on t.v. He is fucking great at keeping the flies off the barbeque Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted April 7, 2016 Report Share Posted April 7, 2016 What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? A boy scout comes home from camp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted April 7, 2016 Report Share Posted April 7, 2016 2 minutes ago, MikeD said: What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? A boy scout comes home from camp. Mike, you blithering idiot, you've just fucked the whole thread with that one. Once you go Jew, Admin turns blue! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted April 7, 2016 Report Share Posted April 7, 2016 How do you make a poof fuck a girl? Shit in her cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted April 7, 2016 Report Share Posted April 7, 2016 1 minute ago, Cuntybaws said: Mike, you blithering idiot, you've just fucked the whole thread with that one. Once you go Jew, Admin turns blue! Admin, if you're watching, I won't do it again. But it was fucking funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted April 7, 2016 Report Share Posted April 7, 2016 4 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Mike, you blithering idiot, you've just fucked the whole thread with that one. Once you go Jew, Admin turns blue! I'm hoping my previous good behaviour, lack of meltdowns and general sulking lets me off with the odd dodgy post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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