Ape™️ Posted February 27, 2016 Report Share Posted February 27, 2016 Me and the Mrs were in Tesco tonight, doing the weekly cunting shop. I was looking in the electrical section, passing time, when a bloke came up to me and, very politely, asked "excuse me, where's the food"? I was stunned by this bizzare question, so all I could do was point in the direction of the multitude of food aisles, no more than 50 feet away. Stupid fucking cunt. I have no doubt that Pinkape will have something to say about us shopping in Tesco, and will make some comment about Booths or Waitrose. Another stupid fucking cunt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 27, 2016 Report Share Posted February 27, 2016 Excuse me, Ape. Is Wiz the most boring, creepy cunt on here? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted February 27, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2016 1 hour ago, Decimus said: Excuse me, Ape. Is Wiz the most boring, creepy cunt on here? I don't know for sure if he's the most, but he's certainly one of the most. Does that answer your stupid fucking question?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted February 27, 2016 Report Share Posted February 27, 2016 How utterly creepy shopping in Tescos. Have you got Aids ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted February 27, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2016 Just now, Punkape said: How utterly creepy shopping in Tescos. Have you got Aids ? I wondered how long it'd be before you made a typically predictable and cuntish remark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted February 27, 2016 Report Share Posted February 27, 2016 What cheap shit did you and Mrs Slag-Ape buy in Tescos ? Hopefully some condoms that work so you don't reproduce..... lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted February 27, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2016 5 minutes ago, Punkape said: What cheap shit did you and Mrs Slag-Ape buy in Tescos ? Hopefully some condoms that work so you don't reproduce..... lol. Cretin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted February 27, 2016 Report Share Posted February 27, 2016 Only cretins shop st Tesco and buy battery chickens, poorly hung cheap meat, mass produced out of season veg and slags on the checkout tills..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted February 27, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2016 Just now, Punkape said: Only cretins shop st Tesco and buy battery chickens, poorly hung cheap meat, mass produced out of season veg and slags on the checkout tills..... They don't sell slags on the checkout tills. Learn how to properly construct sentences, you illiterate dunce. Your spelling and grammar are that of a child. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 28, 2016 Report Share Posted February 28, 2016 2 hours ago, Ape said: Me and the Mrs were in Tesco tonight, doing the weekly cunting shop. I was looking in the electrical section, passing time, when a bloke came up to me and, very politely, asked "excuse me, where's the food"? I was stunned by this bizzare question, so all I could do was point in the direction of the multitude of food aisles, no more than 50 feet away. Stupid fucking cunt. I have no doubt that Pinkape will have something to say about us shopping in Tesco, and will make some comment about Booths or Waitrose. Another stupid fucking cunt. He may have been playing the game "Obviousses" which we used to play as kids. I.e we're next to Big Ben and we'd go up to someone and ask them the time. Or asking someone where Buckingham Palace is when we're standing next to the fucker. Or he may have been a fuckwit. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted February 28, 2016 Report Share Posted February 28, 2016 What's this thread about then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted February 28, 2016 Report Share Posted February 28, 2016 8 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: He may have been playing the game "Obviousses" which we used to play as kids. I.e we're next to Big Ben and we'd go up to someone and ask them the time. Or asking someone where Buckingham Palace is when we're standing next to the fucker. Or he may have been a fuckwit. Bollocks Cambers, you were just distracting them so your cousing could nick their wallets... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted February 28, 2016 Report Share Posted February 28, 2016 As my old English teacher used to say, "There are no stupid questions." He soon changed his tune after a few days in a windowless cell on child molestation charges. "Why are you hitting yourself?" was just one of many such similarly themed questions. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 28, 2016 Report Share Posted February 28, 2016 2 hours ago, DingTheRioja said: Bollocks Cambers, you were just distracting them so your cousing could nick their wallets... You know all the tricks dont you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted February 28, 2016 Report Share Posted February 28, 2016 11 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: You know all the tricks dont you. Yup... my in-laws seem to fall for every one of them... Apparently, leaving the camera on the cafe table and walking off seems to qualify as "mugging" as well.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted February 28, 2016 Report Share Posted February 28, 2016 I got mugged down south. Five fucking quid for beer you wouldn't wash your car with up north. Fucking cunts. And they slagged off my cufflinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted February 28, 2016 Report Share Posted February 28, 2016 4 hours ago, Manky said: I got mugged down south. Five fucking quid for beer you wouldn't wash your car with up north. Fucking cunts. And they slagged off my cufflinks. What you refer to as cufflinks, the rest of civilised society call handcuffs. I actually heard some northern goons discussing how outraged they were at the price of a pint in London, idiots. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 28, 2016 Report Share Posted February 28, 2016 1 minute ago, Bubbles said: I actually heard some northern goons discussing how outraged they were at the price of a pint in London, idiots. There's nothing more infuriating than a northerner in London, Bubs. They congregate in Wetherspoon's and other cheap and nasty establishments, but can still be heard to bellow "'ow bloody much?!" incredulously when charged more than two quid for a pint. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted February 28, 2016 Report Share Posted February 28, 2016 4 minutes ago, Decimus said: There's nothing more infuriating than a northerner in London, Bubs. They congregate in Wetherspoon's and other cheap and nasty establishments, but can still be heard to bellow "'ow bloody much?!" incredulously when charged more than two quid for a pint. I was lying. Not been to London since 1978 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted February 28, 2016 Report Share Posted February 28, 2016 54 minutes ago, Manky said: I was lying. Not been to London since 1978 1992 for me... .. I'm not counting Eurostar or the Dartford Crossing... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted February 28, 2016 Report Share Posted February 28, 2016 20 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: 1992 for me... .. I'm not counting Eurostar or the Dartford Crossing... I shouldn't think you would as the Darrford Crossing isn't in London. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted February 28, 2016 Report Share Posted February 28, 2016 21 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: 1992 for me... I'm not counting Eurostar or the Dartford Crossing... Ding, to save time as we go along can you post a list of every single place you've ever been to, and the date(s) you were there? Make sure to also include any reasons why you're not counting some of them. That'll be riveting, thanks. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 28, 2016 Report Share Posted February 28, 2016 2 minutes ago, Snatch said: I shouldn't think you would as the Darrford Crossing isn't in London. Don't be too hard on the ignorant cunt, Snatchers. I doubt that the Northern Monkey has ever left Yorkshire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted February 28, 2016 Report Share Posted February 28, 2016 40 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: 1992 for me... .. I'm not counting Eurostar or the Dartford Crossing... My favourite place in London is probably Reading. Lovely suburb. Idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted February 28, 2016 Report Share Posted February 28, 2016 34 minutes ago, Snatch said: I shouldn't think you would as the Darrford Crossing isn't in London. M25 and anything inside is basically London, we need to build a curtain wall around the outer perimeter, then we can nuke the fuck out of the inside without bothering the rest of the UK.... 31 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Ding, to save time as we go along can you post a list of every single place you've ever been to, and the date(s) you were there? Make sure to also include any reasons why you're not counting some of them. That'll be riveting, thanks. It'll still be more riveting than anything Decibel posts... 15 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: My favourite place in London is probably Reading. Lovely suburb. Idiot. Had a lovely boating holiday near Reading, the glorious summer of '76.... see Cunty above... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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