Guest Gong Farmer Posted December 11, 2016 Report Share Posted December 11, 2016 7 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: I'm drinking White Russians and watching Series 7 of TrailerPark Boys. I was drinking cheap cognac and the last dregs of pimm's, neat whilst watching the last three episodes of The Crown. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted December 11, 2016 Report Share Posted December 11, 2016 4 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: It would be be even worse if you walked into a Barber shop and found out that there was a spelling error on the sign. You might be clever Ratty but that is trap that you would have walked right into. my nearest barber's is a steaming cauldron of ribald faggotry, so yes I do walk right in. I don't know if it's tongue in cheek or not, but it's arranged in such a way that you have to use the rear entrance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted December 11, 2016 Report Share Posted December 11, 2016 13 hours ago, ratcum said: Imagine if you ordered a berber remnant from Carpet Shite and they delivered one of these buggers? Remind me not to to ask for the shag pile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted December 11, 2016 Report Share Posted December 11, 2016 8 minutes ago, ratcum said: my nearest barber's is a steaming cauldron of ribald faggotry, so yes I do walk right in. I don't know if it's tongue in cheek or not, but it's arranged in such a way that you have to use the rear entrance. I asked for a Barbour outfit one Xmas and these cunts rolled up. Hilarity ensued. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted December 11, 2016 Report Share Posted December 11, 2016 33 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Remind me not to to ask for the shag pile. Yes. Or 'terror cell weave' with 'unexploded munition detailing' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted December 11, 2016 Report Share Posted December 11, 2016 6 hours ago, ratcum said: my nearest barber's is a steaming cauldron of ribald faggotry, so yes I do walk right in. I don't know if it's tongue in cheek or not, but it's arranged in such a way that you have to use the rear entrance. Are you Frankie Howerd? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted December 11, 2016 Report Share Posted December 11, 2016 1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said: Are you Frankie Howerd? More frankly coward I think Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted December 11, 2016 Report Share Posted December 11, 2016 8 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: I asked for a Barbour outfit one Xmas and these cunts rolled up. Hilarity ensued. I hate these cunts almost as much as morris dancers CB. They should have stoats hammered into both eye sockets Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted December 12, 2016 Report Share Posted December 12, 2016 15 hours ago, ratcum said: I hate these cunts almost as much as morris dancers CB. They should have stoats hammered into both eye sockets And why beholdest thou the stoat that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the bream that is in thine own eye? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted December 12, 2016 Report Share Posted December 12, 2016 1 hour ago, Cuntybaws said: And why beholdest thou the stoat that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the bream that is in thine own eye? immeasurably vast lezzer. Leviathan lobster trough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 12, 2016 Report Share Posted December 12, 2016 1 hour ago, Cuntybaws said: And why beholdest thou the stoat that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the bream that is in thine own eye? At least we've moved away from Percy Shelley and onto the Gospel of St Matt. The ermine on the mount. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted May 30, 2017 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2017 I noticed that Channel 4 are planning an "all-night feast of comedy and comment" for election night: Paxman (tolerable), Mitchell (acceptable) and Osman (humourless, dull, Easter-island-headed fucking specky wanker know-it-all cunt). Osman is an inappropriate choice of co-host for a multitude of reasons, besides the ones I've already cited. A complete fucking wanker. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spanky Posted May 30, 2017 Report Share Posted May 30, 2017 3 minutes ago, Ape said: I noticed that Channel 4 are planning an "all-night feast of comedy and comment" for election night: Paxman (tolerable), Mitchell (acceptable) and Osman (humourless, dull, Easter-island-headed fucking specky wanker know-it-all cunt). Osman is an inappropriate choice of co-host for a multitude of reasons, besides the ones I've already cited. A complete fucking wanker. Fuck off. I had to Google this cunt as I had literally no idea who he was. I'm glad I don't because he looks like a right fucking mong. Like the unwanted offspring of Herman Munster and Mr Spock. Obviously some science would have had to have been involved. Maybe some 'lectricity too, but whichever mad fucker did it would have been right proper pissed off when this cunt came to life. No returns though. No fucking returns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 13, 2018 Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 On 10/12/2016 at 10:07 PM, Cuntybaws said: Poetry is a sword of lightning, ever unsheathed, which consumes the scabbard that would contain it. I spatchcocked a brace of tasty hens And sautéed them with brie; Nor, minging did I know til then Until I threw up cheese. ‘Tis past, that melon and cauliflower cream Nor will I shit out more Than a second dump, for I still seem To love cheese more and more. Among thy titty mountains did I feel The throbbing of my wire; And she I caiptured did I wheel A’top my Irish wire By yawning vadge, my spunk congealed On bowels where jizz displayed; That japs eye doth a’sprayed Japs eye doth a’sprayed! She smelt a pong the unwashed baws Beside the minging cock And AIDS whom there were none to catch Due to a fuckin’ rubber glove A vindaloo by a peshwari naan Afraid for my brown eye Sore as fuck, when any cunt Could shite nails in the pan Shite nails in the pan Shite nails in the paaaaaaan! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 13, 2018 Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 Sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 13, 2018 Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 Bit of Wordsworth there for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 13, 2018 Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted January 13, 2018 Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 6 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Bit of Wordsworth there for you. Idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 13, 2018 Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 Just now, Frank said: Idiot. Shut up, brilliance is a salty dish to swallow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 13, 2018 Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 2 minutes ago, Frank said: Idiot. Seconded thirded fourthed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 13, 2018 Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 That’s what they said about “Yacht”. Time will tell. Your kids will be humming that next Christmas- to their kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted January 13, 2018 Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 Just now, Quincy Cockfingers said: That’s what they said about “Yacht”. Time will tell. Your kids will be humming that next Christmas- to their kids. You've totally fucking gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted January 13, 2018 Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 12 hours ago, Frank said: You've totally fucking gone. Franky, give us a nom Franky Franky, give us a nom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted January 13, 2018 Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 22 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: I spatchcocked a brace of tasty hens And sautéed them with brie; Nor, minging did I know til then Until I threw up cheese. ‘Tis past, that melon and cauliflower cream Nor will I shit out more Than a second dump, for I still seem To love cheese more and more. Among thy titty mountains did I feel The throbbing of my wire; And she I caiptured did I wheel A’top my Irish wire By yawning vadge, my spunk congealed On bowels where jizz displayed; That japs eye doth a’sprayed Japs eye doth a’sprayed! She smelt a pong the unwashed baws Beside the minging cock And AIDS whom there were none to catch Due to a fuckin’ rubber glove A vindaloo by a peshwari naan Afraid for my brown eye Sore as fuck, when any cunt Could shite nails in the pan Shite nails in the pan Shite nails in the paaaaaaan! Fuck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 13, 2018 Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 23 hours ago, Frank said: You've totally fucking gone. Shhh, my sweet. How many catchphrases do you have? I mean good ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.