Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 I'll be getting some wireless PC cameras to catch these miserable shit cunt cretins. Four times in the last three weeks, the bell goes off between 3 and 4 am. It's hard enough to get adequate sleep, what with my wife wanting my body every night, and the boss wanting my fucking soul, the cunt! I cannot get back to sleep after a disruption like that, so I must take it upon myself to administer swift and proper retribution, for the good of humanity and Britain. Does anybody know where I can buy large, bone crushing steel animal traps? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 This little number should see you right. http://www.flemingoutdoors.com/duke-15-off-set-jaw-bear-tr.htmlI doubt the authorities will look too kindly on its deployment, though; or the postman come to that. Bernard Goetz was a cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Wire the bell to the mains with a 45 amp trip on it.....used to work well enough when I wired my VW badge on the Golf to the battery.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hokey Gingers Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 " What do you mean wrong house?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 I'll be getting some wireless PC cameras to catch these miserable shit cunt cretins. Four times in the last three weeks, the bell goes off between 3 and 4 am. It's hard enough to get adequate sleep, what with my wife wanting my body every night, and the boss wanting my fucking soul, the cunt! I cannot get back to sleep after a disruption like that, so I must take it upon myself to administer swift and proper retribution, for the good of humanity and Britain. Does anybody know where I can buy large, bone crushing steel animal traps? Save your money wizz, just disconnect the fucking doorbell when you go to bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Save your money wizz, just disconnect the fucking doorbell when you go to bed. some people are right cunts, 3 times I have knocked on some cunts door on the way home from the pub to let him know he had left the lights on his car, cunt never answered the door once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Wire the bell to the mains with a 45 amp trip on it.....used to work well enough when I wired my VW badge on the Golf to the battery....Golf is for irons. Driving one is for cunts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 some people are right cunts, 3 times I have knocked on some cunts door on the way home from the pub to let him know he had left the lights on his car, cunt never answered the door once. Too right. I had to get up the other night because of some noisy cunt, he was "parked" in a fucking ditch with his lights and hazards on, laying across his steering wheel holding the horn down. He wasn't even moving, the bastard. I yelled at the cunt for five minutes, then just ignored him. I had the last laugh, the coppers came and towed him away in the morning. Oddly, they'd brought an ambulance with them, I don't know quite why. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 some people are right cunts, 3 times I have knocked on some cunts door on the way home from the pub to let him know he had left the lights on his car, cunt never answered the door once. Eddie, the cunt was probably also on his way home from the pub and passed out in the car. The prick was probably blocking some poor bastards parked vehicle while he slept off the evenings drink. Save your money wizz, just disconnect the fucking doorbell when you go to bed. That puts the burden on me, Scotty. I'm just a cunt that has a nice, well kept home, everything works as it should, and I should have to disconnect it for a poorly disciplined, unmannered shit cunt? It doesn't seem right. How will they learn if nobody teaches the lessons they missed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 That puts the burden on me, Scotty. I'm just a cunt that has a nice, well kept home, everything works as it should, and I should have to disconnect it for a poorly disciplined, unmannered shit cunt? It doesn't seem right. How will they learn if nobody teaches the lessons they missed? Suit yourself mate, you're the poor fucker who's getting woken up in the small hours for all the wrong reasons. These little scratters won't learn anyway, so just adapt and go with the flow. Can I also suggest a medicinal brandy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 some people are right cunts, 3 times I have knocked on some cunts door on the way home from the pub to let him know he had left the lights on his car, cunt never answered the door once. There are some right ignorant cunts about Eddie. Try pissing in their letter box. That'll teach em. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Golf is for irons. Driving one is for cuntsNot when it was the 1.8 MkI GTi that pissed on anything within 30 miles of me.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Suit yourself mate, you're the poor fucker who's getting woken up in the small hours for all the wrong reasons. These little scratters won't learn anyway, so just adapt and go with the flow. Can I also suggest a medicinal brandy?I think I might just follow your advice. A brandy would help, I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted July 28, 2015 Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 Try wiring the door bell up directly to the main electrical supply. That'll fucking learn 'em. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 29, 2015 Report Share Posted July 29, 2015 Try wiring the door bell up directly to the main electrical supply. That'll fucking learn 'em.I think we have a winner! This little number should see you right. http://www.flemingoutdoors.com/duke-15-off-set-jaw-bear-tr.htmlI doubt the authorities will look too kindly on its deployment, though; or the postman come to that. Bernard Goetz was a cunt. This country is going to hell. The authorities do fuck all about these burdensome little cunts, and punish citizens for taking action. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted July 29, 2015 Report Share Posted July 29, 2015 You don`t happen to have one of those wireless door chimes do you. If yes, it may be responding to something on a similar frequency. I now if i wanted to annoy some cunt i would do it `remotely`. We did a similar thing when i was younger with a One-for-All remote control and any electrical store that invariably had one or two TV`s on after hours and just entered the frequency to change the channel to something a little more specialist and turn the volume up full. What crime was commited without physical evidence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted July 29, 2015 Report Share Posted July 29, 2015 You don`t happen to have one of those wireless door chimes do you. If yes, it may be responding to something on a similar frequency. I now if i wanted to annoy some cunt i would do it `remotely`. We did a similar thing when i was younger with a One-for-All remote control and any electrical store that invariably had one or two TV`s on after hours and just entered the frequency to change the channel to something a little more specialist and turn the volume up full. What crime was commited without physical evidence.out of likes owe you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted July 29, 2015 Report Share Posted July 29, 2015 You don`t happen to have one of those wireless door chimes do you. If yes, it may be responding to something on a similar frequency. I now if i wanted to annoy some cunt i would do it `remotely`. We did a similar thing when i was younger with a One-for-All remote control and any electrical store that invariably had one or two TV`s on after hours and just entered the frequency to change the channel to something a little more specialist and turn the volume up full. What crime was commited without physical evidence.The same crime was committed then as now. That of being a tedious, vapid, vacuous little fucking bore. As yet, you haven't posted anything even slightly entertaining. Up your game, or terminate yourself, you're a fucking embarrassment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted July 29, 2015 Report Share Posted July 29, 2015 Soggy pasta for tea last night then Decs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 29, 2015 Report Share Posted July 29, 2015 You don`t happen to have one of those wireless door chimes do you. If yes, it may be responding to something on a similar frequency. I now if i wanted to annoy some cunt i would do it `remotely`. We did a similar thing when i was younger with a One-for-All remote control and any electrical store that invariably had one or two TV`s on after hours and just entered the frequency to change the channel to something a little more specialist and turn the volume up full. What crime was commited without physical evidence.I have a hard wired system, Drew. I'm also quite an inept cunt when it comes to working with electricity. I'd be a crispy old bastard in half a second! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted July 29, 2015 Report Share Posted July 29, 2015 I have a hard wired system, Drew. I'm also quite an inept cunt when it comes to working with electricity. I'd be a crispy old bastard in half a second! electricity is the devils magic to me but then again i do live in Norfolk with my buddies Dex, Nellie and ProfessorButtFucker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 29, 2015 Report Share Posted July 29, 2015 electricity is the devils magic to me but then again i do live in Norfolk with my buddies Dex, Nellie and ProfessorButtFuckerI'm doing well if I can reach into the ice maker without electrocuting myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted July 29, 2015 Report Share Posted July 29, 2015 A few years ago I was installing a new kitchen. I needed to get it finished and was on a roll that took me into the early hours of the morning. The thing was that I making a lot of noise, hammering, drilling, in and out of the garage for materials etc when my next door neighbour came knocking on the door to complain about the racket I was making. Within five minutes he was there helping me finish the project off dressed in his pyjamas, slippers and dressing gown. He even went and got a couple beers out of his fridge when we took a fag break. The bloke really is one in a million and I'm extremely lucky to have him as a nieghbour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 29, 2015 Report Share Posted July 29, 2015 A few years ago I was installing a new kitchen. I needed to get it finished and was on a roll that took me into the early hours of the morning. The thing was that I making a lot of noise, hammering, drilling, in and out of the garage for materials etc when my next door neighbour came knocking on the door to complain about the racket I was making. Within five minutes he was there helping me finish the project off dressed in his pyjamas, slippers and dressing gown. He even went and got a couple beers out of his fridge when we took a fag break. The bloke really is one in a million and I'm extremely lucky to have him as a nieghbour.My neighbours are cunts. Round here it's a good fences make make good neighbours/ every cunt for him or herself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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