Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted July 20, 2015 Report Share Posted July 20, 2015 Where do I start? Every home in the country must have had an argument that started as a result of one these little cunts. When you do get free rule of the remote the cunting thing seems to have a mind of its own or decides to develop an intermittent delay - not good when trying to quickly lose the Babestation channel. To top it off you are likely to be infected with some bacteria as a result of the dried food, urine and excreta lurking under the buttons from the last filthy fucker. To summarise, remote controls are triple cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted July 20, 2015 Report Share Posted July 20, 2015 My mother has a habit of leaving the remote control on top of the television when faffing around/cleaning the living room.My dad, myself and my brother have spent decades now trying to explain the definition of the word "remote" to her, and by extension why leaving it there on top of the telly every day is of absolutely no fucking use whatsoever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted July 20, 2015 Report Share Posted July 20, 2015 you are likely to be infected with some bacteria as a result of the dried food, urine and excreta lurking under the buttons from the last filthy fucker.You may be confusing your remote control with an anal vibrator, an easy mistake to make when changing the batteries in the dark. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 20, 2015 Report Share Posted July 20, 2015 It's a particularly disturbing message sent when a group will sit in front of the box, watching utter shite, because they're all too fucking lazy to get up and locate the remote or change the channel the old fashioned way. How did we ever make it to this point with such epic cuntery blockading progress at every turn? Bill, I can see, to a point, why your mum would do that. If she is moving the furniture, a remote, being virtually indestructible to the food matter and toxic oils and chemicals of the hands of those handling, but will disintegrate on contact with even the plushest of rugs. She puts it where it won't fall, and just forgets to put it back. Or perhaps she is trying to send a message that some assistance with the cleaning would be appreciate, I can't say with any certainty. Mums are sly that way! My mother has a habit of leaving the remote control on top of the television when faffing around/cleaning the living room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted July 20, 2015 Report Share Posted July 20, 2015 My mother has a habit of leaving the remote control on top of the television when faffing around/cleaning the living room.My dad, myself and my brother have spent decades now trying to explain the definition of the word "remote" to her, and by extension why leaving it there on top of the telly every day is of absolutely no fucking use whatsoever.I have to say that I'm guilty of this....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted July 20, 2015 Report Share Posted July 20, 2015 Why is it some people when pressing a button feel the need to move their hand as if throwing the infra-red ray towards the TV?Fucking annoying twats. My mother has a habit of leaving the remote control on top of the television when faffing around/cleaning the living room.My dad, myself and my brother have spent decades now trying to explain the definition of the word "remote" to her, and by extension why leaving it there on top of the telly every day is of absolutely no fucking use whatsoever.Sticks,get one of those new ultra thin TV's and see how she gets on balancing the remote then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted July 20, 2015 Report Share Posted July 20, 2015 My mother has a habit of leaving the remote control on top of the television when faffing around/cleaning the living room.My dad, myself and my brother have spent decades now trying to explain the definition of the word "remote" to her, and by extension why leaving it there on top of the telly every day is of absolutely no fucking use whatsoever.still living at home with your mum then Bill.....or should that be Keith?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted July 20, 2015 Report Share Posted July 20, 2015 still living at home with your mum then Bill.....or should that be Keith??No I'm not living at home - the remote issue wound me up so fucking much I had to move out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 20, 2015 Report Share Posted July 20, 2015 I bought my mum Sky+ and she seems to believe that if she freezes Coronation Street to go to get a cake from the kitchen she's holding it up for everyone else. She was getting in a tizzy cos she couldn't find the remote control and was worried that everyone would be getting annoyed. I had to tell her that she didn't control the whole country like some gyppo Bond villain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted July 20, 2015 Report Share Posted July 20, 2015 You may be confusing your remote control with an anal vibrator, an easy mistake to make when changing the batteries in the dark.It's not that difficult, baws. The remote is the one that isn't stuck up your arse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted July 20, 2015 Report Share Posted July 20, 2015 It's not that difficult, baws. The remote is the one that isn't stuck up your arse...depends if he keeps trying to put Strictly on.. then it's a toss-up as to which is hidden where.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted July 20, 2015 Report Share Posted July 20, 2015 It's not that difficult, baws. The remote is the one that isn't stuck up your arse.Don't be so sure about that: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted July 20, 2015 Report Share Posted July 20, 2015 Watching TV is for cunts, you braindead mongbacks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 20, 2015 Report Share Posted July 20, 2015 Why is it some people when pressing a button feel the need to move their hand as if throwing the infra-red ray towards the TV?Fucking annoying twats.Sticks,get one of those new ultra thin TV's and see how she gets on balancing the remote then.Sometimes I somersault over the sofa fire off a shot at the tv and then dive behind the chaise, like Lucy Lu from Charlies Angels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted July 20, 2015 Report Share Posted July 20, 2015 Watching TV is for cunts, you braindead mongbacks.you presumptuous twat I purposely didn't say tv remote control in the nom in the vain hope of avoiding comments like that from a fucktard like you. I am sure you might be able to find a nom about tv where your comment may be more acceptable now go away you micro-penis fudge poker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted July 20, 2015 Report Share Posted July 20, 2015 you presumptuous twat I purposely didn't say tv remote control in the nom in the vain hope of avoiding comments like that from a fucktard like you.Oh, right, so you've been watching Babestation on the fucking microwave then? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted July 20, 2015 Report Share Posted July 20, 2015 Sometimes I somersault over the sofa fire off a shot at the tv and then dive behind the chaise, like Lucy Lu from Charlies Angels.POIDH 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted July 21, 2015 Report Share Posted July 21, 2015 POIDHI'd give that a like Scotty if I knew what the fuck it meant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 21, 2015 Report Share Posted July 21, 2015 POIDHWhat does that mean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted July 21, 2015 Report Share Posted July 21, 2015 I'd give that a like Scotty if I knew what the fuck it meant.What does that mean?If it wasn't for the fact that you must be online to post on here in the first place, I'd swear some of you cunts had never seen the internet before.Ever hear of Google? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 21, 2015 Report Share Posted July 21, 2015 Bit difficult taking a piccie of myself when I executing a triple salco. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted July 21, 2015 Report Share Posted July 21, 2015 What does that mean? I thought it was Piss Off I'm a Dental Hygienist (or possibly I'm Doing Homework/Dennis Hopper). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted July 21, 2015 Report Share Posted July 21, 2015 Sometimes I somersault over the sofa fire off a shot at the tv and then dive behind the chaise, like Lucy Lu from Charlies Angels.Bit difficult taking a piccie of myself when I executing a triple salco.The images currently running through my mind..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted July 21, 2015 Report Share Posted July 21, 2015 This is shite.Sorry, but Judge, Frank or Jacko don't seem to be on and I was just filling in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted July 21, 2015 Report Share Posted July 21, 2015 you presumptuous twat I purposely didn't say tv remote control in the nom in the vain hope of avoiding comments like that from a fucktard like you. I am sure you might be able to find a nom about tv where your comment may be more acceptable now go away you micro-penis fudge pokerI am not a fudge poker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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