Jiggerycock Posted April 28, 2015 Report Share Posted April 28, 2015 British values then. That’s got me thinking. Plenty of the clichés you’ll hear when asked what British Values are – fair play, honesty, support for the underdog – are either out of date (those first two shot to pieces by corrupt politicians and lying newspapers ) or are not intrinsically British. But a sense of humour, my God we’re the world leaders! Most of the people I know or ever come into contact with have got a Ph.D in wind-ups. It’s our stock response for good times, bad times and all times in between. Of course, plenty of this is based on offensiveness, being offensive and taking the mickey out of the easily offended, which is why those without this core British value are so keen to try to legislate our humour away. No one can be offended by monochrome except those who long for colour and whilst I loathe the phrase ‘political correctness’ (usually invoked by bigots hiding behind the freedom of speech argument instead of defending it), those who take umbrage at humour they don’t like, can just go die as far as I’m concerned . These are the people who hold anti-British values. These easily offendeds. These who have a template of acceptability in their heads, not based on what makes them laugh but on what people think of them if they do laugh. These are the people who want to legislate away anything that makes us alive and happy and vibrant and different. I’d rather eat my left nut than watch a Bernard Manning DVD. Ditto Tommy Cooper, ditto Charlie Chaplin, ditto Sarah Milican, ditto The League of Gentlemen, ditto plenty of others. That’s taste (good or bad, that’s up to you). But if you are offended by these people get your own jokes. Get some retaliation in first. Take the piss out of them. Laugh at them – that’s the British way. You might even enjoy yourself. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 28, 2015 Report Share Posted April 28, 2015 It is a little known fact, that the secret to Ernest Hemingway's literary success was ensuring that each sentence he wrote included the word Bozo at least three times. Of course, the mad bastard killed himself eventually, no doubt driven insane by the repetition. We live in hope...His granddaughter Mariel Hemingway killed herself.Or was it her sister Margeux? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted April 28, 2015 Report Share Posted April 28, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted April 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 28, 2015 His granddaughter Mariel Hemingway killed herself.Or was it her sister Margeux?I think I read somewhere that the family has some form of congenital condition that increases the likelihood of depression and suicide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted April 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 28, 2015 You disgraceful cunt Ding. This may be a free for all thread, but to pollute it with this filth is unacceptable. American English has no place here. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted April 28, 2015 Report Share Posted April 28, 2015 I think I read somewhere that the family has some form of congenital condition that increases the likelihood of depression and suicide. Yep.. it's usually called "My fucking ancester was a fucking fucked up fucking genius and there's no fucking chance any of fucking us will ever fucking follow in his fucking footsteps in the fucking slightest cos he had all the fucking brains, but we will fucking well fucking dine fucking out on his fucking celebrity, cunt" ..or similar.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fatty Posted April 28, 2015 Report Share Posted April 28, 2015 Yeah Ding, more fanny, less American shite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted April 28, 2015 Report Share Posted April 28, 2015 What happens if you make shandy with coke instead of lemonade? Also, what the fuck happened to Gloria Estefan? I used to wank my knackers flat to her as a teenlad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 28, 2015 Report Share Posted April 28, 2015 You disgraceful cunt Ding. This may be a free for all thread, but to pollute it with this filth is unacceptable. American English has no place here.Too fucking right, well said that man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted April 28, 2015 Report Share Posted April 28, 2015 The guest forum is fucking buzzing tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 28, 2015 Report Share Posted April 28, 2015 What happens if you make shandy with coke instead of lemonade? Also, what the fuck happened to Gloria Estefan? I used to wank my knackers flat to her as a teenlad. She fell off the stage and broke her spine.At least, that's what I told the coppers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fatty Posted April 28, 2015 Report Share Posted April 28, 2015 She fell off the stage and broke her spine.At least, that's what I told the coppers.Scotty are you by chance a sweaty, if so fuck off, if not, fuck off anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 29, 2015 Report Share Posted April 29, 2015 Scotty are you by chance a sweaty, if so fuck off, if not, fuck off anyway. I'm a southerner. And Gloria Estefan did actually stop touring after badly injuring her spine, so fuck off yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted April 29, 2015 Report Share Posted April 29, 2015 I'm a southerner. And Gloria Estefan did actually stop touring after badly injuring her spine, so fuck off yourself.It's true Fatty, you soppy cunt. Wank you knackers flat over that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted April 29, 2015 Report Share Posted April 29, 2015 I'm a southerner. And Gloria Estefan did actually stop touring after badly injuring her spine, so fuck off yourself.The cunt owns half of Miami now. (Gloria, not Scotty.) She's fucking loaded.She still plays sometimes, when it suits her. It's fair to say you wouldn't need opera glasses to see her arse from the back of the auditorium. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted April 29, 2015 Report Share Posted April 29, 2015 You disgraceful cunt Ding. This may be a free for all thread, but to pollute it with this filth is unacceptable. American English has no place here.Yeah Ding, more fanny, less American shite.Cunts... Here you go then.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted April 29, 2015 Report Share Posted April 29, 2015 Gloria who? Wasn't he in it ain't arf 'ot Mum? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 29, 2015 Report Share Posted April 29, 2015 ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 29, 2015 Report Share Posted April 29, 2015 Gloria who? Wasn't he in it ain't arf 'ot Mum?Shoulders back, lovely boy.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted April 29, 2015 Report Share Posted April 29, 2015 A lad in our class used to eat his own ear wax. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted April 29, 2015 Report Share Posted April 29, 2015 (edited) Andrew Burnham looks like the laughing sailor Edited April 29, 2015 by nobgobbler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted April 29, 2015 Report Share Posted April 29, 2015 A lad in our class used to eat his own ear wax.Breakfast of champions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted April 29, 2015 Report Share Posted April 29, 2015 Breakfast of champions.Quite. Sod the vegetarian option! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted April 30, 2015 Report Share Posted April 30, 2015 If I put a jiffy bag in that slot, will it arrive promptly? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted April 30, 2015 Report Share Posted April 30, 2015 Monica BrownBlacks and their crack Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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