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Men who drive Mini's or Mini Coopers


Guest JackoTC

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Guest JackoTC

Seems to be a glut of these arseholes on the streets at the minute. Usually unshaved, beardy weirdy, four eyed  studenty fucking types, driving up your arse at 85mph in what is clearly a fucking bint's wheels. Road rage is not my thing at all, I am the epitome of calm behind the wheel, but this cunt today nearly shat himself when I (by sheer luck) ended up right behind him in Sainsburgs garage, 5 minutes after he had cut me up. I wont repeat what I said, but it involved a screwdriver and A&E.

I have thoughtfully added this picture of a tasty bird in a bikini, with what I can only assume is a 1970's pornstar ogling up her peaches from behind, to detract away from the dull content of this nom. Bollocks.

 

coop_bikini.jpg

Edited by JackoTC
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Guest DingTheRioja

First time I saw that Citroen Cockup advert I nearly spat my cuppa all across the living room...

 

What the holy FUCK were they thinking with that shit?

 

Should be in a Kinder Surprise..

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Guest DingTheRioja

fucking edit shit!!!!

 

I remember years ago driving my MR2  (ok... hairdressing car but it was the import Turbo.. fucking ace car, 240 bhp RWD mid-engine with targa roof.... went like shit off a shiny one, just don't boot it in the pissing rain...)..

.....anyway.... driving this nice little tart-cart and some cunt in a wankfest peugeot with every bit of chrome and black available stuck all over cut me up on the motorway, I got stuck in traffic for a couple of miles because of this... needed to stop for petrol and a piss anyway so pulled off at the next exit... and said wanker was on the next pump along.. he was 6'6" and brickshithouse material...

Mrs D, who is 5'4" and 7 stone wet through, went to "have a word"... think I could smell his shit and piss from 6 foot away... not quite sure what she said, but I've never dared to ask either...

 

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Mrs D, who is 5'4" and 7 stone wet through, went to "have a word"... think I could smell his shit and piss from 6 foot away... not quite sure what she said, but I've never dared to ask either...

​She told me that if I acted scared and promised not to beat you up, she'd give me a blow-job at the next service station.

Mystery solved.

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Guest DingTheRioja

​She told me that if I acted scared and promised not to beat you up, she'd give me a blow-job at the next service station.

Mystery solved.

​and you're still stood there, 14 years later, still waiting in vain...?

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I used to drive a Honda Jazz. It was the most paranoid, suspicious cunt of a car I've ever had the misfortune to drive. It'd never let me put the keys in the ignition without first grilling me as to who I really was, and had an obsession with me hacking its fictional business. It also had a penchant for shoddy clip art. Fucking cunt.

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Guest DingTheRioja

​Well, someone sucked me off through the glory hole - and whoever it was knew all the words to "Careless Whisper"...

​..and drove a Range Rover... PUNKERS????????????

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Guest JackoTC

I used to drive a Honda Jazz. It was the most paranoid, suspicious cunt of a car I've ever had the misfortune to drive. It'd never let me put the keys in the ignition without first grilling me as to who I really was, and had an obsession with me hacking its fictional business. It also had a penchant for shoddy clip art. Fucking cunt.

​Should have told it to "Fuck off"

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Guest DingTheRioja

A repairs replacement courtesy car on one occasion was a bmw something or other ...... instant twattery the moment I began driving it ... could actually feel the "you cunt" looks in my direction.

​You cunt.

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