Guest Keith Lard Posted January 29, 2015 Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 I'm getting close to 28 now and I still couldn't grow a full long manly beard like the men on Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, and He-Man. The best I could grow is all that pubey hair around my jowls and it's ginger. I was at the bus stop the other day and some little bastard said I look like testicles. Everybody at the bus stop laughed and I got pissed off so I kicked the kid right in his face. His father then lunged at me and began to beat the shit out of me. Afterwards he took my money and disabilitiy discount card taken away from me, which means I couldn't use the bus and I couldn't meet this girl I met on the internet and take her out on our date to Alton Towers. It would never happen if I had a proper fucking beard! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Keith Lard Posted January 29, 2015 Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 28 what? Stone? Fuck off! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 29, 2015 Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 28 what? Stone? IQ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Keith Lard Posted January 29, 2015 Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted January 29, 2015 Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!!! Don't be a cunt Keith. Your nom is a fucking invite for piss taking. If you don't want the attention, don't post shit like this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted January 29, 2015 Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 Keith, I thank you for not posting queer shit. Get some self defence classes perhaps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted January 29, 2015 Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 You don't see many Eskimos with beards. Just sayin'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted January 29, 2015 Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 waste of fucking space. Frank.. your usual advice is required here please..thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 29, 2015 Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 I'm getting close to 28 now and I still couldn't grow a full long manly beard like the men on Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, and He-Man. The best I could grow is all that pubey hair around my jowls and it's ginger. I was at the bus stop the other day and some little bastard said I look like testicles. Everybody at the bus stop laughed and I got pissed off so I kicked the kid right in his face. His father then lunged at me and began to beat the shit out of me. Afterwards he took my money and disabilitiy discount card taken away from me, which means I couldn't use the bus and I couldn't meet this girl I met on the internet and take her out on our date to Alton Towers. It would never happen if I had a proper fucking beard! That made my day. So funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted January 30, 2015 Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 What about a fake beard? It will not be artificial at all. All you need to do is to shave off your pubes, sprinkle them onto a two sided sticky tape and this artisan product can then be applied to your face. For hygiene reasons, It can be taken off when your ma is serving spaghetti bolognese and spotty dick pudding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted January 30, 2015 Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 28 what? Stone? out of likes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted January 30, 2015 Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 Are you talking upper or lower beard, if lower in the old days you'd of been a fucking mallet. If not stop taking the oestrogen, its not worth having a pair of tits to yourself of a night. Although at 28 stone you must be a 48dd already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted January 30, 2015 Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 That girl you weren't able to meet thinks you have stood here up. She's written a song about your enormous blubber belly and has posted it on YouTube. "Blubber belly, blubber belly". She wouldn't have shagged you anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 30, 2015 Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 Keith you will always have a beard in my heart Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 30, 2015 Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 I'm getting close to 28 now and I still couldn't grow a full long manly beard like the men on Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, and He-Man. The best I could grow is all that pubey hair around my jowls and it's ginger. I was at the bus stop the other day and some little bastard said I look like testicles. Everybody at the bus stop laughed and I got pissed off so I kicked the kid right in his face. His father then lunged at me and began to beat the shit out of me. Afterwards he took my money and disabilitiy discount card taken away from me, which means I couldn't use the bus and I couldn't meet this girl I met on the internet and take her out on our date to Alton Towers. It would never happen if I had a proper fucking beard! Couldn't you take her to a cafe in Cheadle and buy her some North Staffordshire oatcakes instead? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted January 30, 2015 Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 Keith you will always have a beard in my heart I think he's probably aiming somewhere else - and it's not his beard either Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 30, 2015 Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 Keith, how about having some of my menopausal hormones injected into your mooey? You would have a beard in no time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted January 30, 2015 Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 Keith, how about having some of my menopausal hormones injected into your mooey? You would have a beard in no time.I suspect it's not an anal beard he's after, although you never know with that irredeemable pervert. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 30, 2015 Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 I suspect it's not an anal beard he's after, although you never know with that irredeemable pervert. Anal Beard. Great name for a band ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted January 30, 2015 Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 I'll get my missus to PM you,I dont know her secret but hers is coming on a fucking treat! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted January 30, 2015 Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 Anal Beard. Great name for a band ;-)Even better name for a songGoogle 'The Strechheads' for enlightenemnt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 30, 2015 Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 Try not to worry too much, Keith. I couldn't grow a beard when I was twelve either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted January 30, 2015 Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 Anal Beard. Great name for a band ;-) I am afraid it has already been done. They are on the web at http://analbeard.bandcamp.com/. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 30, 2015 Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 I'll get my missus to PM you,I dont know her secret but hers is coming on a fucking treat! fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted January 30, 2015 Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 fuck off. Was Gatwick the hell on earth it usually is? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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