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Simon Calder, travel 'expert'


Guest MikeD

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And we all know that those stranded in Egypt have got nothing better to do than tune into his programme on their mobiles.

Why don't the BBC just send him over?

I imagine he'll fix everything in about five fucking minutes.

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Down, but not out my little northern monkey. Not just yet. I'll be keeping a close eye on you, sweetheart.

Sleep with one eye open twatface. I am paranoid as fuck when I think poofters are weighing up my bum.

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Guest Bill Stickers

Although in my youth I pissed away a lot of money on credit cards, which indeed took fucking years to pay back, I had plenty of fun with them and I still have a lot of happy memories of those crazy days. Having a cunt like Martin Lewis ruining my joy of silly spending at the time would have been fucking awful. Now living in a relative financial stability, with zero credit card balances and having a rather boring and predictable existence, I still wouldn't listen to this tight-fisted voucher king, who would drive any small business to bankruptcy, so that he could save himself some money. An utter cunt.

I wish you'd gone bankrupt and topped yourself.

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Sleep with one eye open twatface. I am paranoid as fuck when I think poofters are weighing up my bum.

Manky, let me put your mind at rest. Even if I was the most desperate of screaming benders, with standards lower than your single figured IQ, I would still rather smear my cock in honey and wave it at a swarm of Japanese hornets than go anywhere near your filthy, northern ring piece.

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Manky, let me put your mind at rest. Even if I was the most desperate of screaming benders, with standards lower than your single figured IQ, I would still rather smear my cock in honey and wave it at a swarm of Japanese hornets than go anywhere near your filthy, northern ring piece.

You kinky bastard.

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See him bombing around on his bike round these parts.

Talking about stating the obvious, I love the ad concerning the flu jab with the wise words "If you're feeling cold turn the heating up a notch" and "If you're feeling ill, pop along to your Dr". Marvellous. I'm wondering who I should see for a toothache?

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Manky, let me put your mind at rest. Even if I was the most desperate of screaming benders, with standards lower than your single figured IQ, I would still rather smear my cock in honey and wave it at a swarm of Japanese hornets than go anywhere near your filthy, northern ring piece.

Glad to hear that. 

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Guest Bill Stickers

I take responsibility for fucking about with borrowed money and tend to pay my debts. I will leave the easy option to losers like your kind self. Now fuck off.

The most responsible thing would have been to kill yourself. Try again.

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I kid you not, this cunt was on BBC this morning telling everyone that "it may not be the ideal time to go to Paris."

I can only imagine that it must be quite expensive there at the moment as I can't think of any other reason.

This bastard is either related to someone very high up at the BBC or has a picture of that person at a rent-boy bukakke party and is blackmailing him as there's absolutely no justification for this cunt's job.

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2 hours ago, MikeD said:

I kid you not, this cunt was on BBC this morning telling everyone that "it may not be the ideal time to go to Paris."

I can only imagine that it must be quite expensive there at the moment as I can't think of any other reason.

This bastard is either related to someone very high up at the BBC or has a picture of that person at a rent-boy bukakke party and is blackmailing him as there's absolutely no justification for this cunt's job.

I should think now is the best time to go to Paris. It's not going to happen again so soon and what with so many Police,army and other security Monsieurs walking around you should feel quiet safe.

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Just now, Snatch said:

I should think now is the best time to go to Paris. It's not going to happen again so soon and what with so many Police,army and other security Monsieurs walking around you should feel quiet safe.

Very true, but I think i'll listen to Simon as he's the expert.

After all, he works for the BBC and they wouldn't employ clueless fuckwits.......

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  • 8 years later...

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