Guest nobgobbler Posted October 25, 2014 Report Share Posted October 25, 2014 I told my hubby he's going on the corner tonight for nicking my fucking wine when I go to bed. I wouldn't mind but he reckons he doesn't even like Rose, as he is a hairy arsed hard cunt and is only supposed to drink lighter fluid. I was thinking of decanting it into a piss bottle to keep him off it. If anybody's any better ideas I'd like to hear them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted October 25, 2014 Report Share Posted October 25, 2014 What wine have you got? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted October 25, 2014 Report Share Posted October 25, 2014 What wine have you got? I haven't got any wine, the thieving cunt supped it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted October 25, 2014 Report Share Posted October 25, 2014 Buy utter shit and store it in an obvious location. Buy some decent stuff and hide it well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted October 25, 2014 Report Share Posted October 25, 2014 Oh fuck! I thought you were about to uncork something special and here you are just fucking thinking about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted October 25, 2014 Report Share Posted October 25, 2014 I would consider it if she brings wine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted October 25, 2014 Report Share Posted October 25, 2014 So what sort of Rose do you prefer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted October 25, 2014 Report Share Posted October 25, 2014 Oh fuck! I thought you were about to uncork something special and here you are just fucking thinking about it. I'm sat here wondering how much sulking I've got to do before he gives in and goes and gets me a bottle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted October 25, 2014 Report Share Posted October 25, 2014 So what sort of Rose do you prefer? I don't care spot, as long as it's pink, chilled and in a bottomless glass! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted October 25, 2014 Report Share Posted October 25, 2014 Buy utter shit and store it in an obvious location. Buy some decent stuff and hide it well! No use adape, he's got a built-in alcohol radar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted October 25, 2014 Report Share Posted October 25, 2014 I don't care spot, as long as it's pink, chilled and in a bottomless glass! For a moment there, I thought you were going off topic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted October 25, 2014 Report Share Posted October 25, 2014 No use adape, he's got a built-in alcohol radar. Sorry, I didn't realise he'd evolved so far. A lean, mean drinking machine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 26, 2014 Report Share Posted October 26, 2014 Hide it in your minge like my missus does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted October 26, 2014 Report Share Posted October 26, 2014 Hide it in your minge like my missus does. So that's how she keeps you happy, then! Cheeky old bat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 26, 2014 Report Share Posted October 26, 2014 Tip, get some real wine. Buy a bottle of : STONELEIGH MARLBOROUGH SAUVIGNON BLANC Pour 250 mls into three glasses, hit your husband over the head three times with the bottle. Drink your three glasses of wine. More: In Rapaura, Marlborough there lies a vineyard studded with precious stones. Once the bed of an ancient river, today they form the bed of a vineyard. ‘Sunstones’ they call them. During the day, the sunstones reflect the brilliant Marlborough sunshine up into the vines and grapes. Bathed with heat from above and below, the grapes gradually ripen and their beautifully rich flavour intensifies. Sooo true. Starved of moisture and struggling to grow in the stony soil, the vines concentrate their efforts into producing a few precious grapes, with the cool Marlborough nights locking the crisp, concentrated flavour inside. What the vines lack in quantity of fruit, they more than make up for in quality. Serioooosly they do. The result is a rare wine; elegant and crisp, yet intense - the magical taste of Stoneleigh. I love a glass of this with me birdseye fishfingers. We might now have wine connoisseurs browsing the corner - or pissed up newts. I hope they behave, this site has standards to keep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted October 26, 2014 Report Share Posted October 26, 2014 No use adape, he's got a built-in alcohol radar. I never realised my mrs came on here. Morning love, get the kettle on and change the clock, will you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerncunt Posted October 26, 2014 Report Share Posted October 26, 2014 That Stoneleigh shit is $8 a bottle here. Plenty more much better for not much more, but I guess you northern hemisphere cunts only get a fraction of the good ones produced. A bit like poor cunts like me who get fuck all in the way of good English beer (yes you read that right) all the way down here. Now THAT is a cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 26, 2014 Report Share Posted October 26, 2014 Happy to assist, gobbler. Follow these simple instructions and never fall foul of the minkey again.. 1. Slip a couple Valium in his night cap and send him beddy-buyz. 2. Creep up an hour later and stick a petrol funnel in his gob, a garden spade beside the bed and a box of matches on the side. 3. Douse the room in petrol and slosh it around both pillows. 4. Pour a bottle of rosé down the greedy cunt's throat 5. As he bolts up in shock, thwack him with all your might... thrice over the head with the spade. 6. Jump in the bed... give him a cuddle. 7. Set fire to yourselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted October 26, 2014 Report Share Posted October 26, 2014 Happy to assist, gobbler. Follow these simple instructions and never fall foul of the minkey again.. 1. Slip a couple Valium in his night cap and send him beddy-buyz. 2. Creep up an hour later and stick a petrol funnel in his gob, a garden spade beside the bed and a box of matches on the side. 3. Douse the room in petrol and slosh it around both pillows. 4. Pour a bottle of rosé down the greedy cunt's throat 5. As he bolts up in shock, thwack him with all your might... thrice over the head with the spade. 6. Jump in the bed... give him a cuddle. 7. Set fire to yourselves.best response yet frank. I don't know that I would want to go quite that far, but I am with you up to and including point five. 6.chuck some bacon and eggs on. 7.strike a match ... There's your breakfast in bed cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted October 26, 2014 Report Share Posted October 26, 2014 Hide it in your minge like my missus does. So that's how she keeps you happy, then! Cheeky old bat! No.,.. that's how she keeps herself happy.... @Gobbler.... next time you empty a bottle, piss in it and tell him you're on white wine.... remember to chill it properly though.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted October 26, 2014 Report Share Posted October 26, 2014 No.,.. that's how she keeps herself happy.... @Gobbler.... next time you empty a bottle, piss in it and tell him you're on white wine.... remember to chill it properly though.. There are websites dedicated to just that, Ding. But delete your browsing history after perusing them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 26, 2014 Report Share Posted October 26, 2014 best response yet frank. I don't know that I would want to go quite that far, but I am with you up to and including point five. 6.chuck some bacon and eggs on. 7.strike a match ... There's your breakfast in bed cunt. Golden rule gobbo... concussion before burning. You don't want the cunt writhing around willy nilly... causing damage in other parts of the house. Contain the minkey. Try this - no.5. Legs at shoulder width, raise a commercial tin of tomatoes over your head so it's almost touching your tail bone. Thrust is down with almighty power on top of the rosé funnel in his gob. Repeat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted October 26, 2014 Report Share Posted October 26, 2014 There are websites dedicated to just that, Ding. But delete your browsing history after perusing them. ..you mean have a separate browser that the Missus doesn't know about and have it auto-delete all history, searches and cookies every time you close it... ...er...I've heard some people do this...ahem... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted October 26, 2014 Report Share Posted October 26, 2014 No.,.. that's how she keeps herself happy.... @Gobbler.... next time you empty a bottle, piss in it and tell him you're on white wine.... remember to chill it properly though.. I actually know two people who did exactly that, I'm surprised it's not illegal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted October 26, 2014 Report Share Posted October 26, 2014 I actually know two people who did exactly that, I'm surprised it's not illegal. Me, my mate and his brother were out on the piss in london... some cunt was talking to us and kept whining on about shite despite our obvious lack of interest... he nipped inside the pub for some fags so the brother took the lads pint down the alley and pissed in it.. .. then we left... standing about 200 yards away laughing like daft cunts when he drank some and kept looking at the glass funny... and then tried it again.... I'm not sure he could tell the difference between piss and standard southern beer... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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