colonelkurtz Posted September 29, 2014 Report Share Posted September 29, 2014 Recently got back from a visit to Vienna and it's apparent that not the slightest fuck is given as to what car you drive in Austria - one bloke I shared a beer or two with is a consultant neurologist and he drives a Citroen Berlingo for fucks sake ..."cheap to run-easy to park-low insurance" .. his words. When I explained the disdain of some neighbours at such a ghastly sight on the driveway in the UK he just nodded,smiled and got some more beers in ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 29, 2014 Report Share Posted September 29, 2014 If you really feel the need to exhibit your perceived social status with a car then you must be to big a cunt for this corner. I find the place you live is a better measure. How is Nelson Mandela House you Plonker Delboy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted October 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2014 I was at a traffic light controlled crossroads tonight, in the right hand lane waiting to turn right. In the left hand lane a Q7 "Land Barge" appears, the left lane being the one you get in when you either want to go left or straight on. So, the driver, who is by default a fucking cunt, as soon as the light turn green, boots it away and turns right across the front of my car as I'm also turning right. Fucking idiot almost took the front of my wife's two week old car. He went hammering off, through a populated 30 mile per hour zone, like a bat out of hell. Why can't cunts like this either a). get caught in the act by the police or . just crash and die horribly? Cunts like this epitomise the type of special needs fucktards that buy these absurd vehicles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted October 1, 2014 Report Share Posted October 1, 2014 It raises a double-edged sword. On the one hand, we could petition for more traffic wardens and patrol cars, but then they would always be widening their arses parking like cunts in front of the donut shop. Or we could take the law into our own hands; report them to the police for their transgressions, and gain ourselves a reputation of being a nutter, or do the cunt in proper and be the one vigilante that the cops witness putting a cunt down, and go to prison. No real winning on that, unless we can find a way to keep the police and donut shops away from each other, and keep cunts from buying ridiculous cars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted October 1, 2014 Report Share Posted October 1, 2014 Drivers like that should be forced to drive a glass car with a steering wheel that has a huge spike instead of an airbag and no seat belt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted October 1, 2014 Report Share Posted October 1, 2014 Drivers like that should be forced to drive a glass car with a steering wheel that has a huge spike instead of an airbag and no seat belt. People like that should be forced to ride a bus with no brakes straight into a fast moving river. Drown them like fucking rats. Since there is never a bus with no brakes near a fast moving river when needed, your idea will have to suffice. Just hope that the spike has enough air power behind it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 1, 2014 Report Share Posted October 1, 2014 If I had the money to spare, I wouldn't squander it on a pile of shit like this, I would buy a beautiful Triumph Speed Triple R and have it sprayed in that rather nice green colour they had a few years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 1, 2014 Report Share Posted October 1, 2014 Mercedes are as common as muck, go around Europe and every taxi is a bloody merc. I also think Delboy is Spunk Ape. 'I also think Delboy is Spunk Ape' I think you're right. The penny has just dropped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 1, 2014 Report Share Posted October 1, 2014 People like that should be forced to ride a bus with no brakes straight into a fast moving river. Drown them like fucking rats. Since there is never a bus with no brakes near a fast moving river when needed, your idea will have to suffice. Just hope that the spike has enough air power behind it. Couldn't you just put their head under the covers next time you decide to have cabbage and cauliflower?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted October 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2014 'I also think Delboy is Spunk Ape' I think you're right. The penny has just dropped. We have to wait for him to put his trademark double LOL at the end of a invariably unfunny post, just to be 100% sure........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted October 1, 2014 Report Share Posted October 1, 2014 I'd like to play the Londonm card and disparage these merc drivers as "oiks", but as I drive a 12 year old hyundai it could only come across as sour grapes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted October 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2014 I'd like to play the Londonm card and disparage these merc drivers as "oiks", but as I drive a 12 year old hyundai it could only come across as sour grapes. Don't worry too much Scotters, I drive a fast approaching 12 year old year old Peugeot 406. Old is good! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted October 1, 2014 Report Share Posted October 1, 2014 Don't worry too much Scotters, I drive a fast approaching 12 year old year old Peugeot 406. Old is good! Nothing wrong with that dapps, and at least we don't have to worry about where we park the fuckers. If I see a porsche in the multistorey carpark it usually seems to have been keyed; nobody's going to notice our old wrecks, let alone nick them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted October 1, 2014 Report Share Posted October 1, 2014 Couldn't you just put their head under the covers next time you decide to have cabbage and cauliflower?? I believe that is a violation of the Geneva Convention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted October 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 Nothing wrong with that dapps, and at least we don't have to worry about where we park the fuckers. If I see a porsche in the multistorey carpark it usually seems to have been keyed; nobody's going to notice our old wrecks, let alone nick them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted October 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 I take great pleasure in parking my old motor really close to the two parking space wankers (generally BMW OR Audi). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 2, 2014 Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 no one would make a Nissan Paprika Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted October 3, 2014 Report Share Posted October 3, 2014 Drivers like that should be forced to drive a glass car with a steering wheel that has a huge spike instead of an airbag and no seat belt. Drivers like that should be walking with a jack handle impaled in their forehead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted June 28, 2020 Report Share Posted June 28, 2020 On 26/09/2014 at 22:07, Ape™️ said: Vulgar. A perfect choice of word to describe the Cayenne. Wish I'd used it in my nom now! The vulgarity of your regular life would indicate that you would buy a Cayenne but you can’t afford one. lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted June 28, 2020 Report Share Posted June 28, 2020 9 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said: The vulgarity of your regular life would indicate that you would buy a Cayenne but you can’t afford one. lol. or a white Range Rover Sport with black alloys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted June 28, 2020 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2020 8 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said: The vulgarity of your regular life would indicate that you would buy a Cayenne but you can’t afford one. lol. Trawling through my old noms again eh, Pukeape? You’re a weird little cunt and no mistake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted June 28, 2020 Report Share Posted June 28, 2020 On 01/10/2014 at 22:41, scotty said: I'd like to play the Londonm card and disparage these merc drivers as "oiks", but as I drive a 12 year old hyundai it could only come across as sour grapes. not as bad as some 12 year old options Splotto. snigger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted June 28, 2020 Report Share Posted June 28, 2020 2 minutes ago, Ape™️ said: Trawling through my old noms again eh, Pukeape? You’re a weird little cunt and no mistake. It seems to have developed with other contributors to the corner as well.... You could be in for a tough time Ape....shredding your nominations is good sport you stupid twat. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted June 28, 2020 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2020 4 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said: It seems to have developed with other contributors to the corner as well.... You could be in for a tough time Ape....shredding your nominations is good sport you stupid twat. If I were a sad little cunt like you I’d immediately go looking through your dire back-catalogue of drivel, searching for material to launch a counterattack. Fortunately for me I’m not, so I’ll simply say: fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted June 28, 2020 Report Share Posted June 28, 2020 7 minutes ago, Ape™️ said: If I were a sad little cunt like you I’d immediately go looking through your dire back-catalogue of drivel, searching for material to launch a counterattack. Fortunately for me I’m not, so I’ll simply say: fuck off. Most of my nominations are masterpieces....you should analyse them to try and develop a style and help educate yourself.....an obviously Herculean demand.. lol. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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