Ape™️ Posted September 13, 2014 Report Share Posted September 13, 2014 After discovering we had no HP sauce left for sausage and chips tonight, I immediately thrashed off in the car to the local store to panic buy a new bottle. Unfortunately there was a Lottery Cunt at the only till, performing some massive transaction that involved handing in various tiny wins from scratch cards etc and then, at an agonisingly slow pace, choosing what new scratch card / lucky dip combination to spend the money on. I was getting more and more irritated by this cunt, as was the shop assistant and was on the verge of just chucking the HP on the counter and leaving, when finally the transaction miraculously finished. After hurriedly paying and returning to my car it was a great effort not to just mow the cunt down as it ambled along scraping it's new scratch cards. CUNT. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 13, 2014 Report Share Posted September 13, 2014 'Ape you fucking knob jockey couldn't you have just dropped your pants and used some of that brown sauce dribbling out of your anus. You really aren't as bright as you have made out in your previous posts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted September 13, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 13, 2014 'Ape you fucking knob jockey couldn't you have just dropped your pants and used some of that brown sauce dribbling out of your anus. You really aren't as bright as you have made out in your previous posts! Oh yes! Why didn't I think of that? Fucking hell mate, you are hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted September 13, 2014 Report Share Posted September 13, 2014 I would have chopped his fucking fingers off and said "NOW SCRATCH THOSE CARDS YOU CUNT!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 13, 2014 Report Share Posted September 13, 2014 Lotteries are for thick gullible twats Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted September 15, 2014 Report Share Posted September 15, 2014 Lotteries are for thick gullible twats and now for the bad bit, some thick gullible twat will be the one that wins a fucking lottery, then go on a reproducing binge, creating more chav cunts, playing the lottery from their benefits WE pay for. Cunts. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted September 15, 2014 Report Share Posted September 15, 2014 Lotteries are for thick gullible twats Want to buy some lucky white heather? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted September 16, 2014 Report Share Posted September 16, 2014 Sad, sad cunts are the lot who stand outside the shop scratching away, and that's just their bollocks. Hoping to win enough to buy a years supply of Special Brew. I do the lottery every week though, but that's just so I have a chance at winning a years supply of a superior beverage. Like Buckfast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted November 26, 2014 Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 I used to think that, but this morning I've received an email informing me that I've won the jackpot in the Nigerian National Lottery. What a fucking result! I hadn't even bought a ticket. The beers are on me. me too ... just been to the bentley dealership en route to buying accrington stanley .. good times ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 26, 2014 Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 Having an income from private investments I have no need .. oh shit I'm not punkape. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Scabies Posted November 26, 2014 Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 mowr loot in fillins @ my teef then awl yous cunts in bank HAHA RAV fucking 4 fickers HARHAR broom broom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted November 26, 2014 Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 mowr loot in fillins @ my teef then awl yous cunts in bank HAHA RAV fucking 4 fickers HARHAR broom broom Fuck me, I think it's trying to communicate. Someone get Keith in here to translate, he speaks cunt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted November 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 Fuck me, I think it's trying to communicate. Someone get Keith in here to translate, he speaks cunt. I think someone fluent in Retard may stand a better chance at the translation. Fortunately, Retard is Keith's second language so he's definitely the right "person" for the job. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Scabies Posted November 26, 2014 Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 haha luve yous fuckers funee i shows yous ows to make qid or 2 tax ha nevva wiv pay tax basterds make lotts. gold isa way 2 go fuckers haha no bank bank malta forsur Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted November 26, 2014 Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 haha luve yous fuckers funee i shows yous ows to make qid or 2 tax ha nevva wiv pay tax basterds make lotts. gold isa way 2 go fuckers haha no bank bank malta forsur You sound like Shane Macgowan after suffering a massive stroke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted November 26, 2014 Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 You sound like Shane Macgowan after suffering a massive stroke. Google translate won't touch it so I don't bother trying to make sense of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted November 26, 2014 Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 Oh yes! Why didn't I think of that? Fucking hell mate, you are hilarious. Well it made me laugh. I just explained to my hubby why I am laughing so much. He expressed his disapproval with the death stare which made me laugh even more. Once again my sense of humour gets me into trouble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted November 26, 2014 Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 I think this is a wind-up. Nobody could be this thick, you wouldn't even know what the internet is let alone navigate a keyboard and type in words, even shit as retarded as this. Fuck off you joker. Who is this twat? He/she/it tried to add me as a friend the daft cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted November 26, 2014 Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 I used to think that, but this morning I've received an email informing me that I've won the jackpot in the Nigerian National Lottery. What a fucking result! I hadn't even bought a ticket. The beers are on me. Dru, is that Eddie Munster in your avatar? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 26, 2014 Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 Sad, sad cunts are the lot who stand outside the shop scratching away, and that's just their bollocks. Hoping to win enough to buy a years supply of Special Brew. I do the lottery every week though, but that's just so I have a chance at winning a years supply of a superior beverage. Like Buckfast. I collected another pair of bespoke double monk Lobb's today Jackie. They'll last me for life.. unlike your hideous garden furniture that won't last the winter. A navy tapered 19cm trouser really accentuates these beauties. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 26, 2014 Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 10 years old and living in poverty? But you're all fuckin fat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted November 26, 2014 Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 I collected another pair of bespoke double monk Lobb's today Jackie. They'll last me for life.. unlike your hideous garden furniture that won't last the winter. A navy tapered 19cm trouser really accentuates these beauties. My conservatory sofa is 30 years old .... and still going strong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted November 26, 2014 Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 Some fat cunt sat on mine, broke it then fucked off home drunk without saying a thing. Next time you come around here dad, you can fucking pay for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 27, 2014 Report Share Posted November 27, 2014 My conservatory sofa is 30 years old .... and still going strong. Wicker? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 27, 2014 Report Share Posted November 27, 2014 Fuck me, I think it's trying to communicate. Someone get Keith in here to translate, he speaks cunt. The Thing says that the lottery is his retirement plan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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