Guest Posted August 16, 2014 Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 What is it with BMW and Audi drivers? What a bunch of arrogant, self-centred fucking tossers you are. The next time you're driving, and sticking to the speed limits, see how long it is before Gerald in his leased BMW, or Adolf in his company Audi come driving right up your fucking arse flashing their pointless xenon lights, waving their arms like pissed up badminton players and driving like cunts. They think they are hard, but actually they are just hand-job bullies because when you tell the cowardly cunts to pull over and sort it out like real men they drive off shitting in their lederhosen. For fucks sake you VW and Mercedes drivers, don't follow the example of your shithouse German counterparts. Cunts....the lot of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted August 16, 2014 Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 It has long been noted that BMW's don't have indicators, and if you drive one everyone else on the road must move aside for you. With the exception, of course, of drug dealers and eastern Europeans who own 15 year old BMW's. They are very careful as they don't have insurance or MOT's. But they are wannabe cunts, not a patch on the real cunts driving the newer ones. Even wanting to own one makes you a prick in my book. You might as well want to be an MP. Power mad arseholes with inferiority complex's. Apart from that, I'm neutral on the subject. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 16, 2014 Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 Quality from JackoTC Glad it's not just me who's noticed what wankers these tiny-cocked fuckers are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted August 16, 2014 Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 '&do=embed' frameborder='0' data-embedContent>> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted August 16, 2014 Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 I don't suppose there's any point in giving any of you poverty-stricken cunts a guided tour of my Q5. Needless to say, all people driving BMWs and Mercedes are bastard peasants, homosexuals, or crack-dealers, but mainly homosexuals. We don't indicate, because we don't have to. You Focus and Peugeot-driving scum have to give way to us, because that's just the way it is. Take comfort in the fact that you're several rungs up from the Harley "rider". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted August 17, 2014 Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 They don't indicate because they have clutch problem They can't stop 'clutching' their (miniscule) cocks about how they've brown-nosed their way to the 33rd percentile of their shitty corporate ladder at Really Big PLC' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted August 17, 2014 Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 It always amuses me to see these X3 / X5 Q5 / Q7 type things fucking tanking down the outside lane of the motorway, usually without a trace of dirt on them. What is the point of these hideous looking things? No good off road and about as aerodynamic as a garage door. Someone in the design office has struck gold though, as there seems to be a huge number of brain dead cunts, with a lot more money than sense, queuing up to buy these monstrosities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 17, 2014 Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Aren't the manufacturers to blame for this. When are they going to start producing something that is more suited to the type of person driving it Like the Audi Retard, or the BMW Tail-Gater with useful features like a Jack Boot (for your jack - obviously) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 17, 2014 Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Oh, and the X3 drivers who are saying to the world 'look at me, as well as having a tiny cock I wasn't well off enough to buy a X5!' There's a little blonde sort that lives near me that swans around in one of those X6 M50d. She looks as if she is trying to wrestle a sombero from a plushie fucking homo's head when she tries to manoevre the steering wheel in the local Aldi car park Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted August 17, 2014 Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 '&do=embed' frameborder='0' data-embedContent>> That'll stop Judge having multiple orgasms over his computer screen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted August 17, 2014 Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 I don't suppose there's any point in giving any of you poverty-stricken cunts a guided tour of my Q5. Needless to say, all people driving BMWs and Mercedes are bastard peasants, homosexuals, or crack-dealers, but mainly homosexuals. We don't indicate, because we don't have to. You Focus and Peugeot-driving scum have to give way to us, because that's just the way it is. Take comfort in the fact that you're several rungs up from the Harley "rider". Q5, named because it fits 5 Queens in... They don't indicate because they have clutch problem They can't stop 'clutching' their (miniscule) cocks about how they've brown-nosed their way to the 33rd percentile of their shitty corporate ladder at Really Big PLC' The real clutch problem is that they don't have the capacity to change gears properly so buy the auto's... Oh, and the X3 drivers who are saying to the world 'look at me, as well as having a tiny cock I wasn't well off enough to buy a X5!' The X5 owners usually have smaller cocks... the X3 and X5 is the strength of magnifying glass recommended to find it without too much trouble... BMW/Audi owners seem to have taken over from Vulva drivers as teh cock o the road... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 18, 2014 Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 I once had a look at a BMW when we were buying a new car and the girlfriend wanted to look at one as one of her mates was always blathering on about her husband's one and what a good car it was. Well having considered the 'ultimate driving machine' and priced it to bring the equipment levels up to some of its rivals it was far too expensive and not that outstanding to drive either. I decided to buy a Jaguar instead and the other half loved the heated leather seats. Second time around five years on no BMW again I bought another Jag and then replaced that with a Lexus which is the best car I've ever owned. Second only to my trusty Saab 900 which I had years ago it never let me down, was very comfortable , quick and solidly built.. The other thing with BMWs and Audis is that ,in addtion to being Pratmobiles, they are far too common in the South-East. I read in one of the motoring magazines that BMW outsold the Ford Mondeo last year - so much for exclusivity. Plus the Chavs acquire the old ones along with Subaru Imprezzas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted August 19, 2014 Report Share Posted August 19, 2014 I don't suppose there's any point in giving any of you poverty-stricken cunts a guided tour of my Q5. Needless to say, all people driving BMWs and Mercedes are bastard peasants, homosexuals, or crack-dealers, but mainly homosexuals. We don't indicate, because we don't have to. You Focus and Peugeot-driving scum have to give way to us, because that's just the way it is. Take comfort in the fact that you're several rungs up from the Harley "rider". Just for that, I'll have to go to the garage and charge up my classic Rolls Royce. Nothing quite screams vulgar wealth and privilege quite like a Rolls. Please remain at least 2m away when I drive past. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted August 19, 2014 Report Share Posted August 19, 2014 You devious bastard, londo. You've painted my brief silver and superimposed Bronski's bariatric spack-chariot's number plate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted August 19, 2014 Report Share Posted August 19, 2014 Jaguars,the BMW owned English car. Cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 19, 2014 Report Share Posted August 19, 2014 Jaguars,the BMW owned English car. Cunts. Actually Jaguar is owned by Tata Motors an Indian company. Jaguar drivers are different from BMW and Audi owners they're just flash. Your typical Jag owner has a roguish appeal rather like a slightly shady uncle who fiddles his VAT , bets on the horses, might drink too much and who you would not leave alone with your wife or girlfriend. BMW and Audi drivers are either too in love with themselves to do any of that or else are the local drugs dealers. Lexus drivers on the other hand are very nice people - well educated , polite and where Lexus ventures other manufacturers follow notice that many are now offering hybrid engines which Lexus pioneered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted August 19, 2014 Report Share Posted August 19, 2014 Jaguar drivers are different from BMW and Audi owners they're just flash. Your typical Jag owner has a roguish appeal rather like a slightly shady uncle who fiddles his VAT , bets on the horses, might drink too much and who you would not leave alone with your wife or girlfriend. Ding dong! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted August 19, 2014 Report Share Posted August 19, 2014 Actually Jaguar is owned by Tata Motors an Indian company. Jaguar drivers are different from BMW and Audi owners they're just flash. Your typical Jag owner has a roguish appeal rather like a slightly shady uncle who fiddles his VAT , bets on the horses, might drink too much and who you would not leave alone with your wife or girlfriend. BMW and Audi drivers are either too in love with themselves to do any of that or else are the local drugs dealers. Lexus drivers on the other hand are very nice people - well educated , polite and where Lexus ventures other manufacturers follow notice that many are now offering hybrid engines which Lexus pioneered. Lexus.. It's the Japanese Mercedes you know! Ding dong! You rang? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 Are you referring to Terry Thomas era jags? Quaint. Lexus I just associate with Alan Partridge. There's nothing Terry Thomas about the XFR 5.0L V8 supercharged, but it doesn't have the sheer pant-dropping properties of its illustrious predecessors. Fortunately us old married men no longer have to worry about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 Actually Jaguar is owned by Tata Motors an Indian company. My apologies,I thought they were owned by BMW. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 Turd: What is it with BMW and Audi drivers? What a bunch of arrogant, self-centred fucking tossers you are. The next time you're driving, and sticking to the speed limits, see how long it is before Gerald in his leased BMW, or Adolf in his company Audi come driving right up your fucking arse flashing their pointless xenon lights, waving their arms like pissed up badminton players and driving like cunts. They think they are hard, but actually they are just hand-job bullies because when you tell the cowardly cunts to pull over and sort it out like real men they drive off shitting in their lederhosen. For fucks sake you VW and Mercedes drivers, don't follow the example of your shithouse German counterparts. Cunts....the lot of you. I drive an Audi & I've passed my advanced driving test, which is basically being extra safe on the road - hence NOT 'Cunts....the lot of you.' ProfB is driving with care & respect for other road users. I am not sending texts or taking selfies - my car has one careful lady driver owner. Happy Go Lucky You are a car crash & a c**t. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 Turd: I drive an Audi & I've passed my advanced driving test, which is basically being extra safe on the road - hence NOT 'Cunts....the lot of you.' ProfB is driving with care & respect for other road users. Correction... ...what it actually means is you like collecting worthless fucking badges. I see primary school children doing the same thing. Only they have an excuse - they actually are kids instead of cunts like you who just never grew up. Go stick your pointless 'IAM' badge up your German-kissing arse, and leave the real driving to the real drivers. Knobhead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 Correction... ...what it actually means is you like collecting worthless fucking badges. I see primary school children doing the same thing. Only they have an excuse - they actually are kids instead of cunts like you who just never grew up. Go stick your pointless 'IAM' badge up your German-kissing arse, and leave the real driving to the real drivers. Knobhead. You TART Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 BMW drivers only buy their cars because its easy to spell! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 BMW drivers only buy their cars because its easy to spell! That, and it appears that owning a BMW or Audi brings a highly contagious pathogen that forces drivers to park them like total cunts. All of the cuntiest fucking nitwits in a car park own a BMW, an Audi, a Mercedes or SUV. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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